1000 Ways To Die Wiki

"WARNING: The deaths, which are real and extremely graphic, portrayed in this show are based on tragic scenarios, from movies and make-up deaths."
"Names, which in some episode segments, have been changed to protect the identities of the deceased."
"Do not attempt to try ANY kinds of horrified actions depicted."
"OR ELSE YOU'LL DIE!" (the word "DIE" reverberates ominously).

NOTE: Death segments have never been the same. Also, these bad words are very dangerous on some segments and some details.

"1000 Ways to Die" -- Segments 501 - 600

Death # "Event" Name Taken from the episode and segment numbers Circumstances of Death
501 Hats All Folks! (aka Mad Hatter) If You're Dead – Leave a Message and We'll Get Back to You -- Segment 1 On December 12, 1849, in Danbury, CT. A hat maker's constant exposure to mercury (which he uses to felt hats) not only drives him to insanity, but destroys his internal organs, causes metalicizing of the blood stream, destruction of the brain and death.
502 Gas-Hole (aka Confusing Beverages) Death be not Stupid -- Segment 1 On May 19, 2002, in West Glacier, MT. A wanted drug dealer hides out in the wilderness. Wanting to get drunk but having no booze (and not willing to get caught by authorities by setting foot in a bar or liquor store), he siphons the gasoline from his motorcycle, thinking he can drink it because it contains ethanol. However, he is unable to keep it down, and when he vomits it back up into his campfire, he is engulfed in flames.
503 Implo-dead (aka Smacked Down) Death Puts On a Dunce Cap -- Segment 7 On July 27, 2009, in Baltimore, MD. A crack-addicted couple on the run from the law for committing murder and robbery hide out in an abandoned building, not knowing that it is slated for demolition. When the crew sets off explosives to bring down the building, tons of falling rubble crush the couple to death.
504 Wel-Dead (aka Out-of-Control Freak) Dead and Deader -- Segment 1 On March 13, 2005, in Long Beach, CA. An adrenaline junkie working at a metal shop connects a welder to his ear piercings to administer an electric shock and adrenaline rush. He turns the voltage on the welder to the maximum setting, and the electricity disrupts his natural electrical rhythms, causing cardiac arrest.
505 Vermin-ated (aka Mort's Bad Day) Death Bites! -- Segment 4 On August 4, 2003, in Macon, GA. A convicted robber on the run hides in a drainage pipe and gets stuck. Later that night, rats appear and start eating him alive, eventually eating into his brain.
506 Die-Drant The End is Weird -- Segment 5 On November 21, 2009, in Brentwood, CA. A prankster uses a mirror to reflect sunlight into the eyes of passing drivers in the hopes of causing an accident. He succeeds when the driver collides with a fire hydrant, which flies into the air and crushes the prankster's skull.
507 Golden Die-Angle (aka Four By Gore) Fatal Distractions -- Segment 1 On April 8, 1996, in Laos. A Golden Triangle drug lord with a penchant for decapitating trespassers with a machete receives a call that a few trespassers are stealing from his poppy fields. He mounts his ATV and chases after them. While the robbers hide, the man tries to track them down, forgetting about a barbed wire rope he set up as a security measure. The man hits the barbed wire at high speed and, ironically, is decapitated, which means beheaded.
508 Toe Jammed Deadliest Kitsch -- Segment 6 On September 14, 2005, Toledo, OH. A hospital janitor with a fetish for feet and unconscious women sneaks around giving pedicures to sleeping or comatose female hospital patients while sucking on a foot-shaped lollipop. While finishing a pedicure on a coma patient, the janitor accidentally lets a hospital tray swing towards the woman's kneecap, triggering the patellar reflex. The coma patient involuntarily kicks the man in the face, causing the lollipop to lodge in his throat and the janitor to choke to death.
509 Pebble Bitched (aka Pebbles of Punishment) Death, The Final Frontier -- Segment 1 On July 16, 2010, in Williston, ND. Two redneck brothers at a barbecue are attempting to pick up the same girl. They decide to settle the conflict by using their trucks to play tug-of-war. As they rev their engines, their tires kick up gravel toward the girl and one rock strikes her in the temple, causing a skull fracture and brain hemorrhage.
510 Kill Basa The Lighter Side of Death -- Segment 6 On August 16, 1996, in New Orleans, LA. A man who wants to impress women with a "large package" uses surgical tubing to tie a 12-inch kielbasa sausage to his upper thigh. However, he ties the sausage so tight that it cuts off his circulation. The blood in his clogged artery forms into a clot over the next several hours, eventually killing him at a night club.
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512 Chef Boy-R-Dead (aka Et Tu Fay) Getting A Rise From The Dead -- Segment 2 On March 14, 2004, in New York, NY. A sous-chef works hard to gain the trust of her domineering chef in an attempt to steal his PDA, which contains his recipes. When the chef leaves for the night, the sous-chef steals the PDA from his pocket. Hearing a noise, the sous-chef drops the PDA and squeezes herself inside the restaurant's dishwasher. The chef returns, gets his PDA, and leaves again. Soon afterward, another employee turns the machine on, spraying the sous-chef with hot water that scalds her to death.
513 Hot Shot Part D'uh (aka Ultimate Energy Drink) The One About Dumb People Dying -- Segment 4 On April 2, 2006, in Phoenix, AZ. A couple return to their hotel room after stealing luggage from an airport. The man finds what appears to be a bottle of expensive rum in one of the cases (which belonged to a drug smuggler) and takes a drink, unaware it is actually liquid cocaine (a mixture of cocaine and kerosene). After drinking the concoction, the man suffers spikes in adrenaline and blood pressure and dies from cardiac arrest.
514 Heim-Licked (aka Endangered Exercise) Death Certificates -- Segment 1 On June 16, 2010, in Orlando, FL. A fitness camp instructor partial to attractive women tries to intimidate an overweight client and make her quit. When she finally leaves in frustration, he mockingly eats some of the junk food she leaves behind but begins to choke. He tries to bounce on a yoga ball to perform a Heimlich maneuver, but then falls on a lawn sprinkler and impales himself through the mouth and breaks his neck.
515 Vike-O-Done (aka Viking Violence) Death On Arrival -- Segment 5 / Death By Request -- Segment 3C In the year 1011 AD, in Hvarslo, Norway. A Viking kills and decapitates his rival, and he swings the severed head in victory. However, the teeth of the head accidentally strike his thigh, causing an infection that he dies of blood poisoning ten days later.
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517 Tongue Tied Stupid is as Stupid Dies -- Segment 3 On April 16, 2006, in Long Beach, CA. A group of teens play a game in which two of them kiss while in adjacent moving cars. The couple's tongue piercings get tangled in each other, and they are decapitated by a forklift traveling between the cars.
518 Jake N' Baked (aka Lazy Bake Oven) Death be not Stupid -- Segemnt 3 On December 15, 1990, in Long Beach, CA. A narcoleptic metal worker falls asleep in a curing oven. When a friend/co-worker locks him in and turns the oven on to 600 °F for 12 hours, not knowing the man is in the oven, he is burned alive.
519 I Spy A Dead Guy (aka In-Sin-Erator) Death Certificates -- Segment 5 On December 20, 2008, in Boston, MA. A former CIA agent, now working in industrial espionage, breaks into an office to steal information. When a security guard catches him, he locks himself in a closet and dives through a hatch in the wall, falling down a garbage chute and into an incinerator. The unit switches on and quickly incinerates the man, leaving nothing but his skeleton.
520 Branched Out (aka Uzi-Daisy) Wild Wild Death -- Segment 3 On June 5, 2009, in Lancaster, PA. A man films videos of sexy girls firing weapons in hopes of having them go viral. Startled by an ejected shell casing that fell into her open cleavage (she was wearing a spaghetti-strap tanktop), one girl fires her Uzi at random and hits a tree branch overhead. The branch breaks and impales the man through the chest and into his heart, causing his death.
521 Toilet Rolled Waking Up Dead -- Segment 2 On August 5, 2006, in Kingman, AZ, A functioning alcoholic steamroller operator drinks while driving his vehicle, then leaves to use a port-a-potty. He forgets to set the hydraulic brake on the steamroller, which rolls down the hill and crushes the port-a-potty with the man still inside it.
522 Signed Out (aka Suicide Sign) It's a Dead, Dead, Dead World -- Segment 1 On June 19, 2006, in Columbus, OH. When a lazy man's wife announces that she is divorcing him, he repeatedly injures himself in order to frame her as being abusive. Paramedics arrive and put him on a gurney as police confront his wife, but it rolls down a hill until it hits a rock. The man is launched off the gurney and lands on top of a curved road sign, impaling himself through the stomach.
523 Jersey Gore (aka Clean Sweep) Hurry Up and Die -- Segment 2 On August 14, 2008, in Newark, NJ. An obnoxious man known as Nicky "The Predicament" works on his car with extremely loud music playing while his wife constantly and angrily tells him to turn it down. He slides out from under his car down the driveway and into the path of a street sweeper he did not see or hear coming. He gets crushed under the wheels and is shredded by the bristles, leaving a bloody mess on the road.
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528 D. U. Die Bringing In The Dead -- Segment 1 On August 4, 2000, in Akron, OH. Two drunk men go for a drive in a station wagon. While driving at 60 miles per hour, the driver starts to get carsick. He leans out the window to vomit, causing the car to swerve toward the edge of the street, and is decapitated when his head slams into a mailbox.
529 Hydrate-Dead (aka Chug A Lug) Star Death: The Last Generation -- Segment 6 On July 10, 2001, in Sedona, AZ. A competitive, perfectionst clothing entrepreneur constantly drinks large amounts of water and runs for exercise. While trying to out-race her rival from several past marathons, she collapses and dies due to swelling of the brain caused by water intoxication.
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534 Chucked Up Putting a Happy Face on Death -- Segment 3 On August 2, 2008, in Miami, FL. A woman is acting out a bondage fantasy with her husband through a live webcam when a burglar breaks into the house and begins stealing things. The woman's mouth is duct-taped and she is handcuffed to her chair, so she cannot escape, stop the burglar, or scream for help. After taking her laptop, he leans over her face to thank her for making his job easy before running off with her things. Smelling the thief's extremely bad breath, she vomits, but the duct tape prevents it from exiting her mouth. Instead, it goes down her windpipe into her lungs and she dies from drowning.
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539 Micro-whacked (aka Micro-Waxed) Death Watch -- Segment 3 On October 21, 1992, in Pomona, CA. A full-blown drug addict gets high after taking meth, cocaine, prescription drugs, and PCP all at once. During his high, the man decides that his lava lamp is flowing too slowly and puts it in a microwave to speed up the wax. Eventually, the lamp explodes, scalding him with hot wax and lodging broken glass into his face and brain.
540 Beer Bashed Dead on Dead -- Segment 5 On April 24, 1998, in Malibu, CA. A rugby team throws a beach party after losing another game. One of the players gets drunk and throws a keg of beer into a bonfire in addition to bullying some of his team members. After a while, the rest of the team abandons him because of his alcoholic behavior. Shortly after they leave, the keg explodes and the metal scraps from the keg cut through his body.
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548 Therm-Assed (aka The Big Swig) Grave Decisions -- Segment 7 On October 8, 2008, in Moab, UT. A miserable teenage girl forced into going to a religious retreat by her parents slips some crushed ecstasy into everyone's dinner. After the drugs take effect, one of the campers smashes a guitar near the campfire. The girl chokes on the soot that is blown in her face. She grabs a nearby Thermos and gulps its contents, not knowing that it is filled with leftover hot water from the campifire. Failing to spit the water out, she suffers severe burns to her epiglottis and airway and soon dies.
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553 Butt Plugged (aka Plugged Up) The Good, The Bad, and the Death -- Segment 6 On November 9, 2002, in El Segundo, CA. A newly released convict driving drunk with a hooker in the front seat shoves a can of pepper spray into his rectum to avoid detection by a police officer who pulls him over. When the officer shoves the con against his truck for talking back, the can is activated, soaking the con's rectum with the spray and fatally eating it away.
554 Dead Fixe (aka Critical Condition) Die-abestic -- Segment 4 On March 22, 2009, in Boston, MA. A food critic – notorious for his caustic reviews on restaurants – gets drunk on martinis during his latest assignment (a plan hatched by the chef and the bartender who know about the critic and decided to get him drunk so he'd write a good review). In his drunken state, the critic accidentally bites and swallows a plastic sword-shaped toothpick in his martini. The bitten piece wedges in his stomach wall and the critic dies days later of perionitis.
555 Double-O-Severed (aka Spy Cutter) Getting A Rise From The Dead -- Segment 6 On May 6, 2007, in New York, NY. A spy committing corporate espionage climbs down a hotel's air duct to install a listening device outside the room which an important meeting is to take place there. His assistant nephew accidentally turns on the duct's fan, which catches the spy's rope and winds it up. He bleeds to death when the fan blades sever his legs.
556 Her Own Damn Fault!!! (aka Tennis the Menace) Death Takes A Vacation -- Segment 7 On July 27, 2004, in Chatsworth, CA. A lecherous wife invites her husband's boss and his boss's wife for a game of tennis. When the woman publicly tries to seduce the boss, his wife serves a ball that hits her in the head, stunning her. She stumbles against the hand crank used to tighten the net, releasing it so that it strikes her in the head. The blow leads to her death from a skull fracture and swelling of her brain.
557 D-Parted (aka Blade Sunner) Dead Wrongs -- Segment 5 On September 20, 2008, in Reno, NV. As a divorced seductive woman attempts to seduce a construction crew, one distracted worker loses control of his concrete saw, launching the blade and bisected at her to death, which means her body got rip-off.
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559 Mile Die Club (aka Atmosphyxiation) Waking Up Dead -- Segment 3 On October 2, 1997, in Clarkdale, AZ. An abusive man trying to stop his soon-to-be ex-wife from leaving him climbs into the cargo bay of his wife's plane (which he was easily able to do, as airport security prior to the September 11 attacks was not as tight). The atmospheric temperature drops as the plane rises, and he eventually dies of hypothermia and asphyxia.
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568 Dead Me Stallion ? On May 5, 2000, in Ojai, CA. Denise, a zoophilic, visits her friend who owns several horses. Eyeing a stallion, she sneaks into the horse's stable and proceeds to engage in anal sex with the stallion. The horse's penis perforates Denise's colon, killing her.

(Based on the death of Kenneth Pinyan)

(Not aired in US)

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571 Polly Want To Crack Your Spine? (aka House Pest) Sor-Dead Affair -- Segment 5 On August 23, 2001, in Carmel, IN. A housesitter instructed not to have guests over invites her boyfriend to the home. When they are distracted by the owner's cockatoo during a make out session, she opens the birdcage and the bird flies to the roof. When the sitter leans over the balcony to try and grab the bird, she slips and falls into a glass table, cutting her carotid artery.
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578 Corset Killed Him (aka Of Corset Kills) Sudden Death -- Segment 4 On January 22, 2009, in New York, NY. An arrogant, overweight, doughnut-eating ballroom dancer uses a corset to make himself look thin, but laces it too tight. While arguing with his dance partner, the corset compresses his chest and fractures one of his ribs so that it punctures his heart, causing internal bleeding and cardiac arrest.
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586 Stone Hard You're Dead! LOL! Segment 8 On March 13, 2000, in Brooklyn, NY. Patrick is at an art auction, harassing and hitting on all of the girls there. When he takes it too far with one girl, she slaps him, knocking him to the floor and hitting his chest. Patrick had fibrodysplasia ossificans progressive (FOP), a disorder that causes bones, muscles, and other tissues to scar. The impact with the ground caused scarred tissue in his lungs to break off and go into his heart. Patrick struggles to get up before suffering massive cardiac arrest and dying.

(This death is absent from the US version and can be seen here)

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590 UninTented Death On Arrival -- Segment 3 On June 15, 2009, in Jerome, AZ. During a hike in the desert, a nymphomaniac dumps her boyfriend after discovering that he cannot satisfy her. She spends the rest of the time masturbating inside her tent until a freak wind sweeps the tent into the air with her still inside. After flying for a while, the tent crashes into the roof of a shed, fracturing the woman's skull and killing her. The man who discovers the tent on his porch later opens it to find the dead body.
591 Trip to the Maul (aka Love Is Blind) Death – The Gift That Lasts Forever -- Segment 1 On September 10, 2003, in Bozeman, MT. A man takes his mistress into the woods to have sex to escape his wife, when suddenly, he goes blind from vasocongestion (temporary or permanent blindness from sexual intercourse). The now-blind man runs screaming out of the tent, and runs afoul of a grizzly bear, who mauls him.
592 Descent Of A Woman (aka Mirror Mirror) That's "Mister Death" To You -- Segment 2 On October 20, 2008, in Tucson, AZ. A germophobe with obsessive-compulsive disorder falls off a ladder while cleaning and lands on a mirror, breaking it. One shard enters her armpit, tearing open her axillary artery but also plugging the hole; when she later pulls the shard out, the hole reopens and she quickly bleeds to death.
593 Cham-Pained (aka Champagne Toast) Wild Wild Death -- Segment 5 On July 8, 2006, in Montecito, CA. A stolen art auctioneer decides to open her evening with a champagne fountain. When she goes to open the bottle, the cork pops off in her eye and she falls backward into the pyramid of champagne glasses, a shard imbeds her in the Breakial Artery and the rest of her body, she bleeds out in seconds.
594 Odds Are You're Dead (aka Morning Shift) Grave Errors -- Segment 5 On December 3, 2004, in Mercer, NJ. A loan shark confronts a scissor lift operator over a debt. When operator refuses to come down, the shark cuts the hydraulic brake to the scissor lift. The lift comes crashing down on the loan shark and decapitates him.
595 Wedding Crasher (aka Wacky Wedding) Tweets From the Dead -- Segment 3 On May 12, 2002, in Ramsey, NJ. A jilted, bitter man humiliates his ex-girlfriend (who is marrying an older, richer man) at her wedding by objecting to the marriage and stripping naked. As he's being chased by the congregation, the man runs into a glass window (mistaking it for an open door) and dies from glass shards cutting through his exposed flesh.
596 Sky Scraped (aka High-Rising Sky) Crying Over Spilled Blood -- Segment 2 On October 20, 2009, in Chicago, IL. An unforgiving, cruel loan officer enjoys foreclosing on customers in her office on the top of a high-rise building. When she looks out the large window, a freak gust of wind causes it to shatter and impale her with hundreds of shards of glass.
597 Tapped Out (aka Rasslers) Hurry Up and Die -- Segment 5 On June 16, 2005, in Rockford, IL. Two aspiring amateur wrestlers with dreams of going pro assault each other with increasingly insane objects, including fluorescent light bulbs. During practice, one wrestler slashes his partner in the chest with a weed whacker. While the partner who got slashed in the chest survives, the first wrestler collapses and dies from toxic shock caused by inhaling the mercury vapor from the broken bulbs and particles of mercury that entered his blood through earlier wounds.
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599 Mercury in Uranus (aka Thermometers of Terror) Gratefully Dead -- Segment 1 / Death By Request -- Segment 5B On July 28, 1979, in Norman, OK. A frequent hospital patient who pleasures himself by sticking common objects up his pigtail returns when he claims to have gotten a shampoo bottle stuck in his rectum by slipping in the shower. While left alone after the bottle is removed, he finds a drawer containing glass rectal mercury thermometers and shoves nine of them taped together up his pigtail. When startled by the doctor, the man jumps back on the bed and breaks the thermometers while they are still inside of him, causing internal bleeding and mercury poisoning.
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