1000 Ways To Die Wiki

"WARNING: The deaths, which are real and extremely graphic, portrayed in this show are based on tragic scenarios, from movies and make-up deaths."

"Names, which in some episode segments, have been changed to protect the identities of the deceased."

"Do not attempt to try ANY kinds of horrified actions depicted."

"OR ELSE YOU'LL DIE!" (the word "DIE" reverberates ominously).

NOTE: Death segments have never been the same. Also, these bad words are very dangerous on some segments and some details.

"1000 Ways to Die" -- Segments 601 - 700

Death # "Event" Name Taken from the episode and segment numbers Circumstances of Death
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606 Wet Dream Hard Lives, Easy Deaths -- Segment 4 A man who wants to live like a fish constructs a fish suit out of waterbed material and attempts to use it. The suit is so constricting, however, that he cannot get into the water fast enough, and he dies from heat exhaustion.
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608 Catch and Decease (aka No Candiru) Putting A Smiley Face On Death -- Segment 2 On June 17, 2008, in The Amazon. A man in the Amazon hires a group of natives to search for gold and abuses them while they are doing so. While swimming in a river nearby from the men, he relieves himself in the river, which attracts a candiru, which enters his penis and attaches itself to the side of his urethea. The man rips the fish out, along with much of the inside of his penis, and is soon eaten alive by piranhas attracted by the escaping blood, much to the amusement of the men he had hired.
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610 Deep Fried (aka Acid Bath) Death Gets Busy -- Segment 1 On October 26, 1999, in Akron, OH. A metal shop worker with serious anger issues is fired after his co-workers and boss grow tired of the man's outbursts. When he returns to work to get revenge on his boss, the latter shoves the former in self defense into a vat of hydrochloric acid, which eats away at the former employee's flesh and internal organs.
611 Boris Bititoff (aka Raccoon Rage) Up With Death -- Segment 7 On June 9, 1991, in Chernobyl, Ukraine. A zoophilic soldier misses his chance to have sex with his female colleague, so he tries to have sex with a raccoon instead. While trying to get the raccoon to perform fellatio, the raccoon bites his penis off, and he bleeds to death.
612 Gone Green (aka Fashion Victim) Locked and Low Dead -- Segment 2 On March 26, 2007, in Los Angeles, CA. A rich socialite throws a St. Patrick's Day party and plans to show off the $3,000 antique green dress she shoplifted, which contains Paris Green dye (a poisonous dye containing a chemical common in rat poison). During the raucous party, everyone gets drunk and hurls champagne all over the socialite and her dress. In the morning, while everyone wakes up with severe hangovers, she wakes up to find that she's been dyed green, then vomits green slime and dies of organ failure from the dye seeping into her skin.
613 Vat's All Folks (aka Acid Washed) Enter the Ferret -- Segment 5 On June 19, 2001, in Chicago, IL. A cemetery owner digs up his corpses and dissolves them in hydrofluoric acid to make room in the plots and coffins to put them up for resale. After his coworkers refuse to go along with his plan, the cemetery owner decides to do it himself and ends up falling into the acid tub, burning himself to death from the inside out.
614 Dead On Arrival (aka Tie Die) Death Takes A Vacation -- Segment 5 On November 6, 2002, in San Francisco, CA. A drug smuggler creates a tie-dyed T-shirt soaked in blotter acid so he can avoid detection at the airport. The smuggler gets nervous and begins sweating, causing him to absorb a massive overdose through his skin and suffer a heart attack.
615 Macdeath (aka Peter Pan-Caked) Better Them Than Us -- Segment 1 On March 16, 1999, in Boise, ID. A retired dot com company millionaire and current narcissistic owner of a theater assigns himself as the lead role in a play he's producing. While doing a flying scene the holster holding him up is unable to hold his weight, causing it to break. The frayed edge of the cord then unwinds and races through the system of pulleys at over 700 miles per hour, passing through the air and slashing the man's jugular vein.
616 Cock-A-Doodle-Die (aka Razored Rooster) Putting a Happy Face on Death -- Segment 2 On May 19, 2007, in Santa Fe, NM. A man cheats in a cock fighting competition by putting razor blades on his rooster's feet. His rooster kills his opponent's rooster almost right away, and his opponent notices the razor blades. He lets the crowd know about it, and they become an angry mob. Just as they are about to attack the cheater, his own rooster's razors slice his jugular vein open and he bleeds to death.
617 USSR-Dead (aka Fools Russian) Putting A Smiley Face On Death -- Segment 5 On October 12, 1989, in Brighton Beach, NY. A Ukrainian immigrant seeking to join the Russian Mafia is asked by two mobsters to beat down several patsy's for not paying their debts. After doing so, the mobsters burn the man's fingertips with sulfuric acid so that he will not leave fingerprints. To celebrate the man joining the mafia, the elderly and senile bartender pours drinks for the mobsters. However, he mistakenly picks up the acid instead of the vodka bottle due to the two bottles and liquid looking exactly alike. None of the men notice until it's too late, and the acid dissolves their tissue and organs, killing them.
618 DWI: Dying While Intoxicated (aka Mow-ing Violation) Today's Special: Death -- Segment 5 On December 9, 2003, in Palm Springs, CA. A drunk divorcee is chosen by her equally drunk and equally divorced friends to go to the liquor store for more drinks, but the woman cannot drive due to an impounded car and a suspended license from a DUI charge. The woman decides to drive a riding mower instead. When she runs through a stop sign, a police officer pursues her. During the slow-speed chase, the woman tries to lose the officer by driving on a lawn. The woman hits a rock and falls off the mower. Too stunned and drunk to react in time, the mower runs the woman down, shredding her in seconds.
619 Sudden Death (aka Last Call) Death Be a Lady Tonight -- Segment 3 On July 21, 2006, in Emmett, MI. A fantasy football fanatic annoys everyone at a sports bar with his repeated yells at players and shouting out how many points they gained or cost him in his fantasy league. When he tries to change the shown game to another more favorable one, he triggers a bar fight and manages to slip off, only for a piece of a shattered beer mug to fly towards him and pierce through his neck, slicing his jugular vein and carotid artery, causing him to bleed to death within moments.
620 Mudder Sucked (aka Mudsport) Stupid is as Stupid Dies -- Segment 3 On November 21, 2009, in Brentwood, CA. A strict, sadistic pledge master (and military brat) at a sorority bullies her pledges during frosh week. At the end of the week, the pledges are instructed to build a mud wrestling pit for a charity event, but as the pledge master continues to harass them, one of the pledges gets fed up and attacks her. The pledge master proves to be the superior fighter, with the other pledges having to drag their defeated friend out of the pit. But as the pledge master is celebrating her victory, she begins to fall into the sinkhole that was beneath the ring the pledges were building and is sucked into the ground, eventually dying of suffocation from the tons of dirt and mud pressing on her chest (which means asphyxiation).
621 Spyanide (I Spy a Poison Spy) Stupid Is As Death Does -- Segment 4 On April 17, 1943, in Norfolk, VA. A treacherous American spy working for the Nazis has a short meeting in a park. After that meeting, an American tries to return his notebook that he left behind. The spy thinks the American returning his notebook is out to get him and takes his own life by swallowing cyanide pills. (This is the first intentional suicide in the series).
622 Brain Worms (aka Es-Scar-Gooed) The Lighter Side of Death -- Segment 2 On December 21, 1978, in San Francisco, CA. A couple eat live snails and ingest "Angiostrongylus cantonensis", parasites that travel through their bloodstreams to their brains, where they feed on their brain matter until the couple dies (with the man telling his girlfriend that he's a closet homosexual just before the two die).
623 Eye Swallow (aka Socket to Me) Stupid Is As Death Does -- Segment 2 On February 14, 2008, in Berkeley, CA. An acrotomophiliac has sex with a woman who lost her arm in a car accident and has a glass eye. The woman puts her eye in a glass with water before continuing. When they are done, she runs to his shower and the man takes a drink from the glass with the eye, and chokes to death (asphyxiates) when he accidentally swallows her glass eye.
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625 Midnight Choker Death Over Easy -- Segment 5 / Death By Request -- Segment 8B On December 18, 2006, in Gary, IN. A man impresses bar patrons by swallowing a billiard ball (the 8-ball in particular) and then bringing it back up. He tries to repeat the trick with a cue ball, but he chokes and asphyxiates on it due to the larger-diameter size of the ball.
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629 Sex Ray (aka X-Ray Attack) Death Gets Busy -- Segment 6 On March 12, 2001, in Jackson, MI. A man is having an x-ray of his head taken when the doctor and nurse begin having sex in the control room. They accidentally hit the exposure button repeatedly while falling in love, eventually giving the patient a lethal dose of radiation.
630 Ex'D Ex (aka Haunted Prey Ride) Dirt Nap -- Segment 6 On March 27, 2001, in Sleepy Hollow, NY. A couple on a hayride are stalked by the female's former boyfriend. When he surprises them by popping out dressed as an axe murderer, the current boyfriend knocks him off the cart. He falls to the ground, and the wheels crush his lungs and intestines, causing his death from being run over in half.
631 Sun Burnt (aka Laser's Edge) Locked and Low Dead -- Segment 7 On November 11, 2009, in El Segundo, CA. A sociopathic geek creates a concentrated death ray by covering a parabolic dish with tin foil. When he places it out in the sun to experiment, he successfully burns insects, tricks his apartment neighbor into putting his hand in the ray's path, and attempts to heat a can of beans. When the can explodes, the force knocks the geek out, and he falls forward into the path of the heat beam, which burns his skull and melts his brain.
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634 Shop Till You Drown (aka Drown And Out) Dirt Nap -- Segment 4 On February 9, 2004, in Corpus Christi, TX. A woman selling fake designer clothes to a client for high prices is thrown out by her client's husband (who hates his wife's personal shopper friend because his wife keeps spending money on her, and the husband lost most of his money to the current economic downturn). As she leaves, she falls into the couple's swimming pool, gets tangled in its cover, and drowns.
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638 Oz Holed (aka Oz Gone Wild) Cure for the Common Death, Part I -- Segment 5 On August 19, 2001, in San Dimas, CA. Two teenagers obsessed with rock legend Ozzy Osbourne snort fire ants in celebration of Ozzfest, believing an urban legend that Osbourne had supposedly done the same with fellow rocker Nikki Sixx. The ants immediately latch onto their nasal passages and trachea and proceed to bite and sting them repeatedly, causing swelling and eventual suffocation.
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642 Bull-Heavia (aka Bleader) Deadliest Kitsch -- Segment 1 On March 24, 2010, at Somewhere in the Middle East. The dictator of an unnamed Middle Eastern country regularly videotapes speeches blaming the United States of America for the country's poverty and political unrest and promising that the U.S. will pay for its decadent ways. In private, however, the dictator is obsessed with America, often dressing up as a cowboy in a private room filled with American memorabilia and a table with a model replica of Washington, D.C. After installing a new mechanical bull in his room, he goes to ride it, but his subordinate doesn't know how to make it go faster and ends up throwing the leader from the bull and onto his Washington, D.C. model., where the Washington Monument statue impales him right in the heart.
643 ? ? ?
644 Teller She's Dead (aka Violent Alarm) Wild Wild Death -- Segment 1 On December 9, 2005, in Atlanta, GA. A bank teller and her betrayed friend carry out an inside-job bank robbery, with the friend "forcing" the teller to open the vault and then locking her inside. When the friend sets off the fire alarm on her way out, it triggers a carbon dioxide extinguisher system in the vault, and the teller is suffocated to death, which means asphyxiated.
645 Amish-Tinguished (aka Jebe-Die-Ah) Dying to Tell the Story -- Segment 2 On October 31, 2005, in Philadelphia, PA. An Amish boy sent to the city as part of Rumspringa is coaxed into a Halloween party by guests who think the Amish boy's look is a costume. The boy is coaxed into a few drinks and becomes the life of the party, until he collapses and dies, unaware that he was born without an enzyme that aids in breaking down alcohol.
646 Scarf-Face (aka Skinny Boned) That's "Mister Death" To You -- Segment 3 On January 11, 2009, at the Pakistani Border. A terrorist attempting to escape from prison abstains from eating for weeks until he is thin enough to slip through the bars of his cell door. After escaping, he gorges at a feast, and dies from refeeding syndrome.
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652 Botoxicated (aka Fatal Beauty) Death Gets Busy -- Segment 4 On August 16, 1998, in Carbondale, IL. A woman desperate to get rid of her wrinkles hires an inexperienced doctor to administer Botox in her home. The man unknowingly injects pure botulinum toxin into her face, resulting in intense pain and paralysis. While lying in a hot tub trying to relax, the woman's entire body becomes paralyzed and she slips underwater and drowns.
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655 Two Stoopid (aka Double Death) Gratefully Dead -- Segment 6 On March 15, 2005, in Portland, ME. A man attempts to create a new "sport" by tying a mattress to his friend's truck and holding on to it. The rope holding the mattress comes loose and the man falls off the truck at a fast speed, hitting the desert ground and breaking most of his ribs. Meanwhile, in Reno, NV. A man attempts to bungee jump off a cherry picker. However the rope he's using is too long and he smacks the pavement below him and breaks his ribs.
656 Phlegm Phatale (aka Neti Say Goodbye) Death, The Final Frontier -- Segment 7 On November 17, 2007, in Elmira, NY. A couple are on their first date after meeting over the Internet. The male is a complete germaphobe, spraying everything with disinfectant and even using a neti pot to cleanse his sinuses before meeting the woman. However, by using contaminated water in the pot, he contracts a Naegleria fowleri infection that attacks his brain and kills him.
657 Dead Heat (aka Asthmatic Spices) Bringing In The Dead -- Segment 5 On February 25, 1998, in Syracuse, NY. A woman is cooking for her new boyfriend and forces him to smell some exotic, imported spices, not knowing that he has asthma. The asthmatic's inhaler soon runs out of medicine, and he dies of a massive asthma attack.
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661 No Fun-Gus (aka Mushroom Capped) Death, The Final Frontier -- Segment 2 On October 5, 2005, in St. Louis, MO. A man brings his alcoholic wife to a sobriety party. She humiliates herself, devours several homemade pizzas, pours liquor into the punch bowl, and guzzles the mixture. The woman dies from a reaction caused by the alcohol she drank and the ink cap mushrooms that were on the pizzas.
662 Phone Boned (aka Phone Possession) Waking Up Dead -- Segment 1 On May 10, 2005, in Kaisertown, NY. A woman goes to an acupuncturist to cure her addiction to texting. While lying on her back during the treatment, the woman's cell phone begins to receive multiple texts. She tries to reach for it, but ends up falling to the floor face-down. An acupuncture needle that was on the woman's chest stabs her in the heart, killing her instantly.
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671 Boobicide (aka Stripteased) Ready Or Not, Here Comes Death -- Segment 4 On February 27, 2000, in Hoboken, NJ. A vain stripper suffering from back problems from her polypropylene breast implants takes oxycodone and alcohol to relieve her pain. She then climbs into a reclining rack and flips herself upside-down to further relax her back. The stripper suffocates (asphyxiates) from her breasts falling on her face and being too intoxicated to react or right herself in time.
672 Erecto-Phobia (aka Peter Pork-Her) Stupid is as Stupid Dies -- Segment 5 On June 9, 2007, in Washington D.C. A man cheating on his girlfriend gets bitten by a Brazilian wandering spider while getting some bananas out of her grocery bag. The spider's venom causes his blood vessels to dilate, resulting in a permanent erection. After having sex with two other women, the venom causes him to have a heart attack.
673 R.I.P.-PED (aka Juiced) Today's Menu: Deep Fried Death -- Segment 4 On October 3, 2004, in Tarzana, CA. A 70-year-old man obsessed with body building relies on not only his exercise equipment, but his juicer to build and maintain his muscles. After years of overworking his juicer, the juicer stops, overheats, and explodes, sending the juicer's blade into his carotid artery.
674 Killdo (aka Cursed Carrot) Unforced Errors -- Segment 6 On January 31, 2004, in Roanoke, VA. While eyeing a handsome grocery store clerk, a woman gets the idea to use a peeled carrot as a dildo during her nightly masturbation session. While using the carrot during her session, a rough cut slices her vaginal wall, letting air into her circulatory system. An air bubble travels to her heart, blocking her blood flow, and the woman dies from an air embolism.
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677 Boweled Out (aka Swing Away) Ready Or Not, Here Comes Death -- Segment 5 On June 13, 2005, in Youngstown, OH. A softball player's abdominal hernia flares up during a game, so he pushes it back into place and keeps playing, not realizing that he has ruptured a nearby artery. On his next swing, the hernia erupts again and he dies from internal bleeding.
678 Ariva-Deadci (aka Crying Over Spilled Guts) Dead Before They Know It -- Segment 5 On September 8, 2008, in Rochester, NY. A mobster on parole is granted permission to be on a work release program, but slacks off and orders his co-workers to do his work for him. When his parole officer visits him, the mobster tricks her into thinking that he is doing as he's told and moves a dumpster. However, he gets distracted when he sees his co-worker talking to his parole officer about his job performance and forgets to lock the wheels on the dumpster, which ends up rolling down the hill and pinning him against a second dumpster. The mobster is killed when the sharp end of the first dumpster punctures his abdomen and extrudes his intestines from his body.
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680 Pretty Fly for a Dead Guy (aka Lord of the Flies) Tweets From the Dead -- Segment 1 On March 5, 2010, in Old Lyme, CT. A nerdy man with an extreme hatred for bugs covers a wall of his home with homemade flypaper coated with cyanoacrylate. When swatting a mosquito, he falls onto the wall and gets stuck. After a few days, the man soils himself from loss of bladder and bowel control, dies from dehydration and starvation in another couple of days, and is turned into a buffet for all the bugs he collected for torture.
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689 Wine And Die (aka Wine And Dine) Death – Putting The "Fun" In "Funeral" -- Segment 4 On October 1, 2002, in Napa Valley, CA. A nerdy, virgin college student takes a female foreign-exchange student from Sweden to a vineyard for a wine tasting, only to find it closed for the off-season. Having brought their own wine, they get drunk and climb into a fermentation vat to make out. Both of them soon asphyxiate due to the carbon dioxide emitted by the fermenting grapes.
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692 Gone Fission (aka WWM'D) Sudden Death -- Segment 5 On November 11, 2009, in Yemen. As two would-be terrorists construct a plutonium nuclear bomb, one of them accidentally drops a tungsten carbide brick on the radioactive core (due to a burp after eating a burger), causing a massive surge of radiation. The surge destroys their immune systems and both men are overcome with extreme nausea and become bedridden, eventually dying of bacterial pneumonia and asphyxiation as their lungs fill with fluid.
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700 This Just In...My Chest (aka Breaking News) Grave Decisions -- Segment 6 On August 26, 2004, in Port Charlotte, FL. A local news reporter obsessed with his self-image gets the opportunity to look brave and become famous on a national scale by covering a local hurricane. While attempting to cover the story, he is struck and impaled by a mailbox post that has broken loose in the high winds.

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