"Bibli-killed", Way to Die #124, is the second death featured in "Dead Wrongs" which aired on September 28, 2010.
Plot[]
Caleb and Jacob were phonies, they traveled through the countryside posing as preachers with several unread Bibles in the back seat, they were looking for women to have sex with, then they arrived at the farm of Emmy Lou, a beautiful girl who wanted to have sex.
Manuel Schuster: In my experience, farmer's daughters, if giving the chance will have sex with...many many partners. Basically as many as they can get away with.
They went to the barnyard and the 2 phonies took turns being with the rambunctious filly, but there is always someone with a gun.
Granny knew what Emmy Lou was doing and she saw Caleb in the barnyard, he started running away to alert Jacob, Granny took a shotgun and went after him, Caleb alerted Jacob and they fled while Emmy Lou wanted them to come back, Granny found her and asked where Caleb went, the boys hid in a grain silo, Granny dragged Emmy Lou to look for the snake of Caleb.
Jacob suggested running to the car but Caleb said that Granny was armed, it was very dark so Caleb turned on his lighter to see but there was fine grain dust in the oxygen in the air, when he lit the flame, a spark went through from one grain to another causing an explosion with the force of 3 sticks of dynamite, killing them and sending these impostors to Hell where they belonged.
Emmy Lou mourned their deaths and Granny gloated saying "A waste of good corn."
Narrator: Here's one for all you bible students out there: All come from dust, and to dust all return. Caleb and Jacob lied... and got burned.
Transcript[]
([] is playing, a car comes by)
Narrator: Caleb and Jacob were phonies. With a stack of unread bibles in the backseat, they would roam the countryside, posing as preachers looking for souls to...
(Death by Riff Rock 2 is playing, 2 phonies look at the farmer's daughter)
Narrator: save.
Jacob: Hallelujah...!
Narrator: When they stumbled onto Emmy Lou's farm, they thought they had reached the promise land. Emmy Lou was the picture of innocence. But inside, she was a raging cauldron of hormones and sin.
Horse: (Neighs)
(Slow and Sexy Death is playing, the 2 con-artist meet Emmy Lou)
Manuel Schuster: In my experience, farmer's daughters, if giving the chance will have sex with...many many partners. Basically as many as they can get away with.
([] is playing)
-Caleb: We are able... to see directly... into the Bosom of your soul...!
-Horse: (Neighs)
Narrator: These 2 bible humpers were slicker than snot down a hoe handle.
([] is playing)
Narrator: But they were no match for this mare in heat.
Emmy Lou: I was just about to give old West End Affair here a rub down.
(Slow and Sexy Death is resuming)
Emmy Lou: I could use all the hands I can get. (Giggles)
Narrator: Emmy Lou took going down on the farm...
(Lubrifunkification is playing, Emmy Lou shows the duo how to brush a horse)
Emmy Lou: ...and don't be afraid to get a little hard.
-Narrator: very seriously.
-Emmy Lou: Alright?
(But then, Jacob and Emmy Lou make out)
-Narrator: The 2 phonies took turns riding this rambunctious filly,
-Horse: (NEIGHS)
(While Caleb smoking outside the barn)
Narrator: But, in every farmer's daughter's story, there's always somebody with a shotgun.
(Granny hears some moaning)
-Emmy Lou: (Moans)
-Narrator: Granny knew all about Emmy Lou's barnyard activities,
(Chase to Dumpster is playing, Granny sees Caleb, calling him out)
Granny: Hey you!
(Caleb is spooked, alerts Jacob)
-Narrator: So when she heard the cries of animal passion,
-Emmy Lou: (Moans)
-Narrator: she knew... some cock was getting it on with her hen.
-Jacob: (Moans)
(Caleb grabs Jacob, flee from Granny carrying shotgun)
Emmy Lou: Where are you going? Come back!
Granny: Where did he go!?
(The duo climbs on the shelter's ladder)
Caleb: (Whisper) Come on, come on!
Narrator: The boys found shelter in a grain silo.
(Caleb closes the shelter's lid to hide from Granny grabbing her granddaughter)
Granny: Where is that snake in the grass!?
(Drama Purgatory is playing)
Jacob: Look, let's... make a break for the car.
Caleb: (Whispers) She's got a shotgun...!!
Narrator: There comes a time for every lost soul's life,
Caleb: (Whispers) Where's my lighter?
Narrator: when what they need most, is a light to shine in the darkness.
Caleb: (Whispers) Okay...
(Once Caleb activates the lighter, the shelter explodes)
Narrator: This wasn't one of them.
(Demonic Introduction is playing, replay of powder floating)
Narrator: Fine powder from the tons of grains passing through the silo...
(CGI grain particles attach to the air, when Caleb ignites the lighter, causes an explosion)
Narrator: accumulated, and mixed with the oxygen in the air. When Caleb lit his lighter, a spark, spread from one floating grain to the other, creating a chain reaction.
(Back to replay of duo hiding in the shelter, Caleb ignites the lighter, causing an explosion)
Narrator: The explosion had the power of 3 sticks of dynamite.
Granny: A waste of good corn...
(Recap, [] is playing)
Narrator: Here's one for all you bible students out there:
Emmy Lou: (Gasps)
Narrator: All come from dust,
(Caleb grabs Jacob, flee from Granny carrying shotgun)
-Horse: (Neighs)
-Narrator: and to dust return.
(The duo climbs on the shelter's ladder)
Caleb: (Whisper) Come on, come on!
Narrator: Caleb and Jacob lied...
(The shelter explodes; view of dismembered hand and bible book)
Narrator: and got burned.
Casts and Interviewees[]
- Trevor Tevel - Jacob (Lead; Intended victim)
- Peyton McCormick - Emmy Lou (Lead)
- Kenlyn Kanouse - Farmer's wife (Lead)
- Manuel Schuster - Farmer
Trivia[]
- The date this death happened is June 6th, 2006, which was 6/6/06 (or 6-6-6). It is a reference to the biblical "Number of the Beast" (666) from the Book of Revelations.
- Also the same date as Titty Titty Bang Bang and Info-Pain-Ment.
- When Caleb and Jacob arrive at the farm, they were driving a 2003 Honda Accord sedan.
- Additionally, although the death takes place in Iowa, the Accord has a Californian license plate. However, it might be possible that the duo started their journey from California.
- Emmy Lou wears the same bikini top as Leanne's in Phone Boned (even though Emmy Lou was portrayed by Peyton McCormick while Leanne was portrayed by another actress).
- Explosion looks identical to the elite V3 rocket launcher And elite Dreadnought.
- This is similar to the Imperial Sugar company's explosion incident.
Segment Nicknames[]
- E-I-E-I-OWW (not to be confused with Way to Die #487) (Spike TV)
- E-I-E-I -OUCH!
- Lighter than Life
- Divine Disaster
- Holy Combustion
Foreign Names[]
- Arder en el Infierno (Burn in Hell) - Latin American Spanish dub
- Hechos Polvo (Turned to Dust) - European Spanish dub
- Colheita maldita (Damned Harvest) - Brazilian Portuguese dub
- Asche zu Asche, Staub zu Staub (Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust) - German dub
Gallery[]
and got burned.