1000 Ways To Die Wiki

"Catch and Decease", Way to Die #608, is the second death to be featured in "Putting A Smiley Face On Death", which aired on September 14, 2010.


Jeffery Miller (nicknamed "Cuzo" which means jackass) has came to the Amazon basin searching for gold. But he's too lazy to do it himself, so he hires a group of natives to search for it and abuses them while they are doing so. To beat the heat, Jeff decided to cool off by swimming in the river. While he was peeing, the urine attracted a candiru catfish which enters his penis and attaches itself to the side of his urethra, leaving the men he hired amused while calling him his nickname. He had two options; leave it in and risk amputation, or pull it out and tear out the inside of his member. Jeff ripped the fish out, but lost much of the inside of his penis causing it to bleed. Soon, the escaping blood had attracted a school of hungry piranhas, which began to eat Jeff alive, first reducing his arm to bones, and finishing off the rest of him. Later, Jeff's skeleton floats by in the river.

"You know you're having a bad day when a shredded penis is not the worst thing that happens."


  • Jules Sylvester - Wildlife Expert


  • Cuzo isn't an actual word, the closest things to it are cu (asshole as in the part of the body) and cuzão (asshole as in the swear word)


  • Also called "No Candiru" on the Spike TV website.
  • Jackass in Portuguese could also be "Burro" (pronounced Bu-ho).
  • in the brazilian dub jeff is called sr (short for senhor the word for mister) bundão (mr jackass) because as previously stated cuzo isn't a real word.
  • Recent studies have shown that piranhas are only interested in blood if the animal that loses it is smaller than the piranha, and that this species of fish likes eat dead or dying animals, plants or insects more than large animals such as humans. This death is a reference/parody to the death by piranhas created by movies and television. In a realistic version maybe Jeff's death can be caused by the blood loss or the shock caused by lose this penis, similar to the death Boris Bititoff.
  • Like a future death known as I Spy A Dead Guy, this is one of the deaths in the series where a victim is reduced to a skeleton in a certain circumstance.

Segment Nicknames

  • No Cadiru (Spike TV)

Foreign names

  • Pescar la muerte (Fishing Death) - Latin American dub
  • Pescar y morir (Fish and Die) - Spanish dub
  • Isca de peixe (Fish Bait) - Brazilian dub

Jeff's final moments before finally dying.