"Caulk Blocked", Way to Die #877, is the third death featured in "If You're Dead – Leave a Message and We'll Get Back to You", which aired on January 5, 2011.
Plot[]
Tina was a wannabe hip-hop queen and aspiring songwriter who wanted to get the attention of Little Ron, a rapper who had been famous for his big butt songs, Tina tried to get his attention but her butt was too small.
Tina wanted her butt to be bigger and she went to a hotel to get a doctor to give her the biggest butt she could, unfortunately for Tina, the doctor was a fraud and instead of silicone he was injecting her a common bathroom caulk into her buttocks and accidentally injected some caulk into her bloodstream, but in the end Tina got the huge butt that she wanted.
That night, Tina started showing off her new giant butt and Little Ron was on her like white on rice, unfortunately, Tina started to feel very bad, the caulk in her bloodstream caused an embolism that blocked her pulmonary artery and it caused respiratory failure and a heart attack and in 60 seconds it went from bad to worse and she fell dead on the dance floor, sending this girl to Heaven where she could enjoy all she wanted with her big butt.
Transcript[]
Tina: Can you just make it as big as you possibly can?
Narrator: Tina was not talking to her lover. She's trying to get this phony plastic surgeon to give her the mother of all booty-shaking butts. Why?
(Flashback to a club with a bunch of women dancing around Little Ron)
Narrator: Because Tina wants to grab the attention of Little Ron; a rapper who's had a string of hits, all based around one common theme.
Big Fat Booty.
Big Fat Booty, booty.
I want a butt with girth that wobbles the earth.
I want a butt so fat that I can hide my cat.
(Cat meowing)
Big Fat Booty.
Big Fat Booty, booty.
Narrator: Tina already made one attempt but, if you're butt isn't certified Grade A Beyonce-olicious...
Narrator: Little Ron won't even look your way.
(Cut back to Tina with the "surgeon")
Narrator: That's why we find Tina in a shabby hotel room, getting her gluteus maximized with silicone injections. This was one white suburban girl desperate to gain entrance into the black hip-hop world.
Narrator: Unfortunately for Tina, the doctor was a fraud. He was injecting, not silicone, but common bathroom caulk directly into her butt cheeks.
Narrator: Later that night, Tina was ready to knock Little Ron's eyes out. She had an ulterior motive: she was a songwriter and wanted him to hear her new tune; "Cheek Freak".
Narrator: Little Ron was on her like white on rice. But Tina had no time to wag her new butt in victory. She started feeling iller than ill, and in 60 seconds went from bad... to worse... to dropping dead right there on the dance floor.
Narrator: Turns out: the quack accidentally injected some of the caulk, directly into her bloodstream. The lumpy paste formed an embolism, which blocked her pulmonary artery causing respiratory failure and heart attack.
Narrator: Tina wanted to jump on Little Ron's booty bandwagon. But her butt came up short. So she pumped up its volume, and wound up...butted out.
Female rapper: I wanna shake my butt, my big butt in yo face.
Cast And Interviewees[]
- Lindsey Hart - Tina (lead: intended victim)
- Dr. Marc Kern - Clinical Psychologist
Lil Ron's "Big Fat Booty"[]
I want a round butt to squash a butternut
Hold the vegetarian please, I'll take quadruple cheese
Sour cream in my beer, keep that butter near
The more fat I got, the more my butt rocks
Bacon at 3:00, pork rinds in a sock
Grilled cheese with a side of beef, makes it round underneath
My butt round and plump, I'll take 4 *unintelligible*
A car full of donuts please, I can't see my knees
Big fat booty
Big fat booty, booty
Big fat booty
Big fat booty, booty
Big fat booty
Big fat booty, booty
Big fat booty
Big fat booty, booty
I want that jab behind, that you will always lust
Buy a dozen pizzas with sausage in the crust
A dozen raw eggs, with orange chicken legs
3 double chocolate cakes, butter mashed potato lakes
Big fat booty
Big fat booty, booty
Big fat booty
Big fat booty, booty
Big fat booty
Big fat booty, booty
Big fat booty
Big fat booty, booty
I want a butt so big that it will break your leg
I want a butt so round that it will touch the ground
I want a butt with girth that wobbles the earth
I want a butt so fat that I could hide my cat (MEOW!!!)
Big fat booty
Big fat booty, booty
Big fat booty
Big fat booty, booty
Big fat booty
Big fat booty, booty
Big fat booty
Big fat booty, booty
I wanna shake my butt in your face
I wanna shake my butt, my big butt
I wanna shake my butt, in your face
I wanna shake my butt, my big butt in your face
Cast & Interviewees[]
- Lindsey Hart - Tina (Lead; Intended victim)
- Dr. Marc Kern - Himself (Clinical Psychologist)
Segment Nickname[]
- Ass Full Of Caulk (Spike TV website)
- Caulk's Revenge
- Butt Stoned
Foreign Names[]
- Sellador Bloqueador (Sealant Blocker) - Latin American Spanish dub
- BuzanFatal [Pun on "Buzanfã (Butt)" and "Fatal"] (Fatal Butt) - Brazilian Portuguese dub
Segment Description[]
Description as seen on the Spike TV website
- "A girl dies from her faulty ass implants."
Trivia[]
- In the German version, Tina's butt needs to have a butt like Jennifer Lopez (Beyonce in the USA version).
- This death which that narrator described themselves during the CGI.
- Tina's death is similar to Debbie's death in Botoxicated, both deaths are due to the desperation of the victims and the terrible work of fake doctors.
- Tina's death is similar to Sidra's death in Injecti-cide, both victims were obsessed with their beauty and resorted to dangerous methods that caused substances to block their hearts.
- It's possible that Lil Ron is named after Ron Perlman, the Narrator of the show.
- Lesbia Ayala died in a similar way.
Gallery[]
