Way to Die #219
"Chairway to Heaven"
Name of the death is a pun on Led Zeppelin's song, "Stairway to Heaven"
Chairway To Heaven.png
"There's a word for guys who abandon their families: deadbeat. But there's a simpler even better one for Mitch: dead."
Date November 20, 2003
Location Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Episode this death
was featured in
"Stupid Is As Death Does"
"Scratch n' Snuffed"

"Chairway to Heaven", Way to Die #219, is the first death featured in "Stupid Is As Death Does", which aired on March 29, 2011.


A misanthropic and diabolical deadbeat dad named Mitch who abandoned his family to "find himself" (an act so heinous even the narrator says he wants to kill the man) gets drunk with his friend Jakob while setting up his new house, even missing out on his daughter's dance recital. He brings in a pilot seat from a Soviet fighter jet, unaware that it still works. Mitch pulls the lever on the seat and is launched 10 feet into the air, causing brain swelling, crushing his skull against the roof and killing him within seconds, sending him straight to Hell.

"Turns out the fighter jet seat was not only authentic, it was hot; as in, ready to launch."

Alternative Description

Description as seen on Spike TV's website

"A family man ditches his family for the bachelor life, but while building his ultimate man-cave, he makes the fatal mistake of buying a seat from an old F-16 fighter... with the ejector rockets still live."

Alternative Name

Also known as "Ouch Potato" on Spike TV's website


  • At one point of the segment, Mitch owns an iPhone. Much like Text Dead, iPhone's were unavailable before 2007, the year of it's release.
  • Goof: Mitch's friend is playing Guitar Hero. Guitar Hero didn't exist until 2005 when this segment was set in 2003.

Segment Nickname

  • Ouch Potato
  • A Chair-way to the Dark-side
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