1000 Ways To Die Wiki

Opening Deathcard

Goof #1: Guitar Hero in 2003

Goof #2: iPhone in 2003

"Chairway to Heaven", Way to Die #219, is the first death featured in "Stupid Is As Death Does", which aired on March 29, 2011.


A misanthropic and diabolical deadbeat dad named Mitch who abandoned his family to "find himself" (an act so heinous even the narrator says he wants to kill the man) gets drunk with his friend Jacko while setting up his new house, even missing out on his daughter's dance recital. He brings in a pilot seat from a Soviet fighter jet, unaware that it still works. Mitch pulls the lever on the seat and is launched 10 feet into the air, causing brain swelling, crushing his skull against the roof and killing him within seconds, sending the extremely unlikable, diabolical, misantrophic and very selfish deadbeat dad straight to hell.

"Turns out the fighter jet seat was not only authentic, it was hot; as in, ready to launch."

Alternative Description

Description as seen on Spike TV's website

"A family man ditches his family for the bachelor life, but while building his ultimate man-cave, he makes the fatal mistake of buying a seat from an old F-16 fighter... with the ejector rockets still live."

Alternative Name

Also known as "Ouch Potato" on Spike TV's website


  • At one point of the segment, Mitch owns an iPhone. Much like Text Dead, iPhones were unavailable before 2007, the year of its release.
  • Goof: Mitch's friend is playing Guitar Hero. Guitar Hero didn't exist until 2005 when this segment was set in 2003.
  • Eddie Paul name may be based on Joseph Paul Jernigan

Segment Nickname

  • Ouch Potato
  • Mitch's extremely deserved demise

    Chairway to Heaven.jpg
    A Chair-way to the Dark-side