Way to Die #374
"Dead Kacynski"
Name of the death is a pun on the serial killer "Ted Kaczynski"
Dead Kacynski.png
"Dalen's dream of becoming the next Unabomber turned into a...Una-bummer."
Date October 11, 2003
Location Elko, Nevada
Episode this death
was featured in
"Locked and Low Dead"
"Meat Your Maker"
"Bird Brained"

"Dead Kacynski", Way to Die #374, is the second death to be featured in "Locked and Low Dead", which aired on February 29, 2012.


Dalen is a paranoid, nihilistic, misanthropic, anarchistic, sociopathic and psychotic conspiracy theorist who lives off the grid with his girlfriend Elaine in an isolated shack where its electricity is powered by a wall of car batteries. One day, Elaine is preparing Moltov cocktails for Dalen, who plans on firebombing a federal court house in an act of domestic terrorism as part of his numerous terrorist attacks. When she asks if they are going to hurt people, Dalen kicks her out as he doesn't tolerate anyone opposing and/or questioning his methods. Before leaving, he writes his chronicle on a mimeograph, but a spark from poorly ground spark plugs causes the car batteries to explode. Dalen is covered in battery acid and also suffered from multiple broken bones from the blast, killing him and sending this misanthropic terrorist to Hell where he belongs.

"And Dalen got has first bath in weeks...of battery acid."

Cast and Interviewees

  • Samm Hill - Dalen (lead: intended victim)
  • Kevin Copeland - Himself (Survivalist)
  • Eddie Paul - Himself (Engineer)


  • Also called "Dead Battery" on the Spike TV (now Paramount Network) website.

Segment Nicknames

  • Dead Battery (Spike TV)
    Dead Kacynski.JPG
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