1000 Ways To Die Wiki

"Dead Kacynski", Way to Die #374, is the second death to be featured in "Locked and Low Dead", which aired on February 29, 2012.


Dalen is a paranoid, nihilistic, misanthropic, anarchistic, sociopathic and psychotic conspiracy theorist who lives off the grid with his girlfriend Elaine in an isolated shack where its electricity is powered by a wall of car batteries. One day, Elaine is preparing Molotov cocktails for Dalen, who plans on firebombing a federal court house in an act of domestic terrorism as part of his numerous terrorist attacks. When she asks if they are going to hurt people, Dalen kicks her out as he doesn't tolerate anyone opposing and/or questioning his methods. Before leaving, he writes his chronicle on a mimeograph, but a spark from poorly ground spark plugs causes the car batteries to explode. Dalen is covered in battery acid and also suffered from multiple broken bones from the blast, killing him and sending this misanthropic terrorist to Hell where he belongs.

Needless to say, his dreams of becoming the next Unabomber after Ted Kaczynski turned out to be a complete failure.

"And Dalen got has first bath in weeks...of battery acid."

Cast and Interviewees

  • Samm Hill - Dalen (lead: intended victim)
  • Kevin Copeland - Himself (Survivalist)
  • Eddie Paul - Himself (Engineer)


  • There's no Z on Kaczynski in the deathcard.


  • Also called "Dead Battery" on the Spike TV (now Paramount Network) website.
  • this is based on the death of a steam worker alongside a a 2001 explosion and and a Mississippi plant crash

Segment Nicknames

  • Dead Battery (Spike TV)
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