Deadliest Kitsch
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 56.
Originally aired October 24, 2011.
Title reference: Spoofs the Discovery Channel TV series Deadliest Catch.
Note: This is the sixth episode not to feature the death of a female.
-- This is the Original Episode --
Bull-Heavia
Way to Die #642
On March 24, 2010, by somewhere in the Middle East. The dictator of an unnamed Middle Eastern country regularly videotapes speeches blaming the United States of America for the country's poverty and political unrest and promising that the U.S. will pay for its decadent ways. In private, however, the dictator is obsessed with America, often dressing up as a cowboy in a private room filled with American memorabilia and a table with a model replica of Washington, D.C. After installing a new mechanical bull in his room, he goes to ride it, but his subordinate doesn't know how to make it go faster and ends up throwing the leader from the bull and onto his Washington, D.C. model., where the Washington Monument statue impales him right in the heart.
Alt names - Bleader
Hose-Whipped
Way to Die #241
On May 27, 2008, in Philadelphia, PA. A low-rent security guard (who has dreams of being a full-fledged police officer, despite recently failing the police exam) attempts to stop a group of scantily-clad animal rights protesters in front of a pharmaceutical company by blasting the protesters with a fire hose on full power. When the pressure becomes too much for him to hang onto, the hose slips under his legs and knocks him to the ground. The brass nozzle of the hose slams into his skull at over 30 miles per hour.
Alt names - Hosed
Suffer-cated
Way to Die #820
On November 16, 2009, in Bloomington, Indiana. An obsessed cyclist is forced to take care of the dog his girlfriend left behind when she abandoned him. During his training in an altitude tent, the neglected dog (noticing the cyclist's water bottle on top of the tent) jumps up and shuts off the air supply. The cyclist desperately tries to get out, but ends up making the altitude tent fall to the floor (doorside down), and the man suffocates from lack of oxygen.
Alt names - Cheating Edge
Rocked Out
Way to Die #307
On April 14, 2006, in Dodge City, KS. A rock climbing instructor who leers at and gropes his female students is forced to help a man (who weighs 250 pounds) learn how to rope climb. The rock climbing instructor is too distracted by his female coworker to notice that the 250-pound man is slipping. The rope wraps around the instructor's neck, nearly strangling him to death. He tries to get out of it by cutting the rope, but this only succeeds in making the fat man fall on top of the instructor. The instructor dies of a broken neck and brain hemorrhage.
Alt names - Between a Rock and a Dead Place
Chicken Boned
Way to Die #917
On August 1, 1998, in Cedar Rapids, IA. A bored group of friends decide to play "chicken" (performing dangerous stunts to see who will back out first). One of the boys challenges the other to hold a lit M-80 in his mouth. When the second boy backs out, the first cries in victory but accidentally swallows the M-80, which enters his trachea, and blows apart his throat, causing him to drown in his own blood.
Alt names - Chicken Brittle
Toe Jammed
Way to Die #508
On September 14, 2005, in Toledo, OH. A hospital janitor with a fetish for feet and unconscious women sneaks around giving pedicures to sleeping or comatose female hospital patients while sucking on a foot-shaped lollipop. While finishing a pedicure on a coma patient, the janitor accidentally lets a hospital tray swing towards the woman's kneecap, triggering the patellar reflex. The coma patient involuntarily kicks the man in the face, causing the lollipop to lodge in his throat and the janitor to choke to death.
Down With The Clown
Way to Die #260
On July 23, 2008, in Los Angeles, CA. A birthday party clown stalks a horror-core hip-hop band called "Infernal Clown Posse" (played by real-life clown-music group Insane Clown Posse) with hate mail and plans to sabotage one of their concerts. The clown rushes to the front row, but is knocked unconscious when one of the group members hits him in the head with a soda pop bottle. After regaining consciousness a short time later, the clown becomes enraged, runs backstage and goes to unplug their speakers. The clown, still drenched in soda, which contains a high concentration of salt, is electrocuted to death.
Alt names - Insane Clown Posse
Note: This death features the song "In Yo Face" performed by ICP... Also this segment is otherwise known as "Down Clown Town Frown".
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
JamesTherHAMPMaster 18:00, January 28, 2013 (UTC)