Death – Putting The "Fun" In "Funeral"
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 64.
Originally aired February 22, 2012.
-- This is the Original Episode --
Way to Die #711
On February 5, 2004, in Greensboro, NC. A woman who has recently had gastric bypass surgery chews out her husband and forces him to divorce her while the two dine out at a fancy restaurant. While arguing with him, the woman has a coughing fit, which causes her to bleed out excessively and bring forth a pair of forceps (which were left inside her by her plastic surgeon) from her lacerated stomach.
Alt names - Bor D'oh
Way to Die #191
On November 18, 2007, in Grosse Pointe, MI. A gold-digging personal trainer targets a wealthy businessman who has hired her to help him and his wife stay in shape. After the wife screams at her husband for having an erection from the trainer's seductive ways, the trainer celebrates by practicing her clean and jerk with a 150-pound barbell. However, she lifts it too fast and collapses on a step aerobics platform. The impact from the fall snaps her neck, severing her spinal cord.
Alt names - Diet and Exercise
Way to Die #258
On May 20, 2001, in Amity, OR. A polygamist cult leader is set to wed his fourth wife. His latest wife gets nervous and runs off into the woods. The other cult members go after her, stepping into fatal traps set up around the compound to keep cult members from escaping alive. The groom ends up dead from one of his traps—a spiked board that impales the victim when stepped on like a rake.
Alt names - Whip Trap
Way to Die #689
On October 1, 2002, in Napa Valley, CA. A nerdy, virgin college student takes a female foreign-exchange student from Sweden to a vineyard for a wine tasting, only to find it closed for the off-season. Having brought their own wine, they get drunk and climb into a fermentation vat to make out. Both of them soon asphyxiate due to the carbon dioxide emitted by the fermenting grapes.
Alt names - Wine and Dine
Way to Die #420
On September 29, 2009, in Brooklyn, NY. A squatter decides to tap into his neighbors' cable television line for some free entertainment when he sees that they are watching a marathon of 1000 Ways to Die. He climbs up to their exterior cable box, but tumbles down the building's fire escape, and gets impaled through his mouth and brainstem by the screwdriver he had between his lips.
Alt names - Flashbite
Way to Die #944
On April 18, 2005, in Everett, WA. A scalper selling fake tickets to local sporting events gets caught by an angry customer who was just turned away from having counterfeit tickets. The scalper hurries across the street, but is hit and killed by an SUV, even though the pedestrian signal is green (the traffic light was shorted out by a slug that crawled into the electrical box to escape the sun).
Alt names - The Traffic of Terror
Way to Die #346
On December 12, 2006, in Ashville, NC. A bitter ex-jock, whose college prospects were ruined by failed drug tests, now plays dodgeball at a community center. After one aggressive victory against a group of nerds (all of which are heads of Internet companies that are making more money than the jock ever will), he yells at his teammates and tries to spray them with an old, improperly maintained fire extinguisher. The container explodes and the handle lodges in his chest, destroying his heart.
Alt names - Dodgeball Extinguished
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
JamesTherHAMPMaster 15:10, January 29, 2013 (UTC)