Doggerel/Segments featured in intro
"And now, for the very first time, 1000 Ways to Die presents a new award show...The Deathies."
Note: The selected deaths have been shortened, with some interviewees cut.
- Mine Over Splatter
- Little Person, Big Death
- Mudder Sucked
- Butt F***ed
- Odds Are You're Dead
- Rub-A-Dubbed Out
- Jersey Gore
- Jaw Boned
- Deadliest Munch
- Gooed Riddance
- Booty Trapped
- Shanks for the Memories
- Re-Tired (412)
- Two Stoopid
- Work Of Fart
- Glow Job
- D. U. Die
- Window Pained
- Grateful Bed
- Tapped Out
- Gas Holed
- The Chokes On You
- Tanks For Nothing
- Me So Hornet
- Hertz So Good
- Belly'd Up
- Greased Is The Word
- Squirreled Away
- Turtle Waxed
- Anger Damagement
- Ruffed Up
- Tube Snaked
- S**t Canned
- Clay Achin'
- Bad Assid
- Onesie & Donesie
- Bad Hair Day
- Habeas Corpse
- Snake Du Jour
- Smoke A Doped
- Trailer Trashed
- Dead Heat
- Succu Offed
- Hang Dunked
- Wet Dream (331)
- Blades of Gory
- Weenie Roast
- Forked Up
- Hats All Folks!
- Lawn of the Dead
- Nine Inch Nailed
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 55.
Originally aired October 24, 2011.
- Runner-Up A: Blood Bath & Beyond
"About a voyeur who gets his head handed to him."
- Runner-Up B: Gum's the Word
"A gigolo sucks face with a horny granny...and tries to kill the taste with a toxic chemical."
- Winner: Washed And Fried
"A shocking story about exotic dancers posing as cheerleaders!"
- Runner-Up A: Vike-O-Done
"A thousand years before Penicillin was invented, an invincible Viking was defeated by a blood infection"
- Runner-Up B: Brass Bulls
"A Greek peasent becomes his torture device's first victim."
- Winner: Back Stabbed
"A Viking tale of brotherly revenge!"'
Death During Sex
- Runner-Up A: Gasketballed
"A story of two lovers who climbed inside a giant helium-filled basketball...and never get out."
- Runner-Up B: Cluster F***ed
"About a woman who orgasms at the slightest touch...a condition which her boyfriend thought was funny...until he died."
- Winner: Ass Phyxiated
"About a plumper humper who dies a happy man."
- Runner-Up A: Dead Meat-Eorite
"A clueless doofus gets drilled by a piece of cosmic debris."
- Runner-Up B: Road Killed
"A back-to-nature hippy chick, gives mouth-to-mouth with a dead raccoon."
- Winner: Steward-Death
- Runner-Up A: Crib Your Enthusiasm
"A man dresses up like a baby...and breaks his neck after a temper tantrum."
- Runner-Up B: Mercury in Uranus
"A sicko with an anal fetish meets his match with a fistful of thermometers."
- Winner: Vom-Ate-Dead
"A cutie has a thing for hunks...who blew chunks!"
- Runner-Up A: Samurai Death Squad
"A group of Japanese American stage jousting matches...in their souped up tuners."
- Runner-Up B: Pam Caked!
"A snarky cheerleader takes on the whole football team."
- Winner: Dead Eye
"A meathead gym teacher who ends up getting...the shaft."
- Runner-Up A: Hair Die
"A 70's swinging hair stylist pops one too many ludes and curls up and dies."
- Runner-Up B: Fecal Attraction
"A rock and roller runs out of drugs and suffers a brown-out huffing his own gas."
- Winner: Em-Bear-Assed
- Runner-Up A: Bitch Zapped
"A horribly hen-pecked husband watches his wife get mowed down."
- Runner-Up B: Midnight Choker
"A bonehead biker drops the cue ball down the wrong hole."
- Winner: Boys 2 Dead
"A boy band lead singer is heading for a fall!"
Most Painful Death
- Runner-Up A: Easy Slider
"A pool hopper gets nailed on a makeshift slide. Ouch."
- Runner-Up B: Mod Man
"A deadly blade spinning robot turns on his master."
- Winner: Bad Max
"A cautionary tale of an out-of-control celebrity."
- Runner-Up A: Fatty Splatty
"It offers a valuable lesson to us all. Self-liposuction? Really bad idea."
- Runner-Up B: Chippin' Dale
"A tree trimmer realizes a little too late, a wood chipper doesn't just chip wood."
- Winner: Titty Titty Bang Bang
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.