Doggerel/Segments featured in intro

"And now, for the very first time, 1000 Ways to Die presents a new award show...The Deathies."


The Deathies

"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 55.

Originally aired October 24, 2011.

Sexiest Death

"About a pervert who gives his head a bath."

"A gigolo sucks face with a horny granny...and tries to kill the taste with a toxic chemical."

"A shocking story about exotic dancers losing their cheerleading!"

Historical Death

"A thousand years before Penicillin was invented,an invincible Viking was defeated by a blood infection"

"A Greek peasent becomes his device's first victim."

"A Viking tale of brotherly revenge!"'

Death During Sex

"A story of two lovers who climbed inside a huge basketball...and never got out."

"About a woman who orgasms at the slightest touch...a condition which her boyfriend thought was funny...until he died."

"About a pluper hupper who dies a happy man."

Cosmic Karma

"A clueless doofus gets drilled by a piece of cosmic."

"A back-to-nature hippy chick, gets mouth-to-mouth with a dead racoon... until she beomes roadkill "

(No Doggerel)

Worst Pervert

"A man dresses up like a baby...and breaks his neck after a temper tantrum."

"A sicko with a fetish meets his match with a fistful of thermometers."

"A cutie has a thing for hunks...who blew chunks!"

Sports Death

"A group of Japanese American stage jousting a suit of armor, with cars."

"A snorky cheerleader takes on a whole football team."

"A meathead gym teacher who ends up getting...the shaft."

Dumbest Druggie

"A 70's sweet new hair stylist pops one too many needs and curls up and dies."

"A rock and roller runs out of drugs and suffers a brown-out and gets his own gas."'

(No Doggerel)

Dumbest Death

"A horribly head-packed husband watches his wife get mowed down."

"A bonehead biker drops a cue ball down the wrong hole."

"A boy band lead singer is heading for a fall!"

Most Painful Death

"A pool hopper gets nailed on a late shift slide. Ouch."

"A deadly blade spinning robot turns on his master."

"A Cautionary tale of an out-of-control celebrity."

Deathiest Death

"It serves us a valuable lesson to us all. Self-liposuction... really is a bad idea."

"A tree trimmer realizes a little too late,a wood chipper doesn't just chip wood."

(No Doggerel)

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