"Doggie Styled", Way to Die #428, is the seventh and final death to be featured in "Ready Or Not, Here Comes Death", which aired on February 23, 2011.
Plot[]
Sparky is a hunting yellow Labrador retriever who loves to fetch hunted duck carcasses (or anything else for that matter), for his two owners, some drunk hunters. One day, after they failed to flush out some more ducks from a bush clump, they decided to use a stick of dynamite. They lit the dynamite, threw it and covered their eyes and ears but Sparky thought it was a normal stick so he went for it. Sparky mentioned that sometimes he felt stupid since it was just a stick, but he actually liked doing that. He left the dynamite with its owners and then he saw a squirrel and went for it. One of the hunters opens their eyes and uncovers their ears and says "NO, SPARKY!"... right before the dynamite explodes, killing both hunters, sending these dimwitted hunters to heaven. The explosion caused the left arm of one of the hunters to fly away. Sparky then brought it back to him, told them that it was time for dinner and when they didn't respond he started barking, not knowing that they were dead.
"What kind of stick was that?"
Transcript[]
([] is playing)
Narrator (As Sparky): They say there's no great relationship, no truer display of loyalty than the one between a man and his dog. I should know. That's me, Sparky. I'm a petagray golden Labrador. And I can trace my ancestry all way back to the first recognized golden lab:
(Picture of the first golden lab)
Narrator (As Sparky): Ben of Hyde.
(Back to hunters hunting)
Narrator (As Sparky): But don't ask these two dim lights about any of this.
(Hunters drink beer)
Narrator (As Sparky): All they care about are drinking.
Hunter #1: I love the bubbles.
Hunter #2: Really?
Narrator (As Sparky): And hunting.
(They start hunting)
-Hunter #1: Oh yeah! Yeah!
-Hunter #2: (Laughs)
Narrator (As Sparky): The drinking I can do without. I love to fetch.
(Sparky catches the dead bird and brings it to the hunter)
Narrator (As Sparky): I would say it's... my 4th favorite thing to do. If you could see inside my brain...
(Dog's brain is shown, Appalachian Death is playing)
Narrator (As Sparky): Here's what it'd looked like: I love eating, sleeping, sniffing crotches and digging holes. I used to love to lick testicles. Whoever invented neutering should have theirs cut off.
(The part of licking testicles falls; The hunters continue to hunt, Baroque Death is playing)
Narrator (As Sparky): With me, fetching is a part of my genetic wiring. It's like...I can't not fetch.
-Hunter #1: Woo!!
-Hunter #2: That's right! Bring it! Bring it! You fetch that up.
([] is playing)
David Reinecker: We, human beings have... bred canines from the original wolf, into specific tasks that we want out of a canine. Retrievers actually were bred out of Newfoundland to retrieve fish. Then they were exported over the England, it was hunting with birds. And then we Americans brought them back over here to the America to retrieve, like balls, play objects, birds again for hunting, etc.
([] is playing, the hunters drink again)
Narrator (As Sparky): Sometimes I wish my owners were a tad smarter. These two fell out of a stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
Hunter #1: Sparky, where are the ducks at?
Narrator (As Sparky): I believe the ducks are up there in the sky. Perhaps if you aren't so drunk, you'd be able see them.
Hunter #1: We gotta flush 'em out!
(Hunter #2 brings a dynamite)
Narrator (As Sparky): Yeah! Flush 'em out, why don't ya?
(String Death is playing)
Narrator (As Sparky): Hello? What's that? A stick? If he throws it, I'm gone.
(Hunter #2 throws the dynamite)
Hunter #1: Wooo!!! Yeah! Cover your eyes! Cover your ears!
([] is playing, Sparky goes to the dynamite, mistakenly thought of a wooden stick, bring it to the hunters. Big mistake...)
Narrator (As Sparky): Sometimes I feel so stupid. I mean, it's just a stick!
-Narrator (As Sparky): But, I actually like this!
-Hunter #1: Woo!
Narrator (As Sparky): Here you go, fellas!
(Sparky hears a squirrel)
Narrator (As Sparky): Oh! Oh! A squirrel!
-Narrator (As Sparky): There go my genetics again.
-Sparky: (Barks)
(As the hunters hear Sparky barks, they notice that the dynamite is close to them)
-Hunter #2: No, Sparky! Ah!!
-Hunter #1: (Freaks)
(As the hunter #2 takes it to throw it back, but it was too late, it blows up)
Narrator (As Sparky): What kind of stick was that?
(Demonic Introduction is playing, replay of hunter #2 throws the dynamite)
Nick Plantico: The basic chemical make up of a stick of dynamite is simply a nitroglycerin and a compound to stabilize it, which is either diatomaceous earth... or sawdust.
(Sparky brings back the dynamite)
Nick Plantico: A stick of dynamite...has the force of what they call two joules. A single joule is the equivalent of say a one ton crew cab pickup truck hitting you at about 100 miles in hour. It basically will blow you apart.
(The dynamite explodes, killing the hunters; Appalachian Death is resuming, Sparky picks the arm up and fix it back)
Narrator (As Sparky): These guys are always losing things. Here you go. I fetched your arm. Okay, gentlemen. Time to go. It's dinner time. I'm hungry. HELLO?!
Sparky: (Barks)
Cast & Interviewees[]
- Sebastian Vale - Hunter #2 (Lead: Intended victim)
- David Reinecker - Dog Behaviorist
- Nick Plantico - Explosives Expert
Trivia[]
- This is based on an urban legend.
- This way to die is told in Sparky's point of view, with the Narrator voicing Sparky.
- This is the second death being named “Doggie Style(d)”. The other is was Way to Die #85.
- In Six Feet Plunder, the narrator mentions that Jim had given most of his inheritance to his dog, who is also a yellow labrador retreiver, so it can be guessed that after this death, Sparky had been adopted by Jim.
- We don't see an CGI shows how Hunter #1 and Hunter #2 died.
Segment Nickname[]
- Dynamite Dog (on Spike TV website)
- Die-Namite
Foreign Names[]
- Estilo Perrito (Doggy Style) - Latin American Spanish and European Spanish dubs
- Cachorrada (Dog Out) - Brazilian Portuguese dub
Gallery[]
Behind The Scenes[]
