"Eye-Sick-Kill", Way to Die #247, is the last death featured in the episode "Dead Before They Know It", which aired on March 23, 2011.
Plot[]
Perverted stoner named Paul works as a mall Santa, only to be fired for sexually harassing two female co-workers working as his elves. When the manager storms out, Paul tries to get his attention by banging on the door. When he looks up, Paul is impaled through the right eye by a falling icicle that pierces his brain, killing him instantly, putting himself on the naughty list in hell, and making the 2 female co-workers scream in horror seeing Paul's demise.
Transcript[]
("Have your Picture taken with Santa" sign is shown, female elf demonstrates the picture)
Narrator: It was 3 weeks before Christmas. And right outside the mall, not a creature was furying. Except 2 hot elves and a stoner Santa named Paul.
(Paul asks the black elf if she wants to smoke)
-Paul: You want? Try this, this is good stuff.
-Black elf: No. No. Thanks.
Narrator: There were no cute children to sit and to pose,
(View of foreclosure house, bank owned)
Narrator: their parents were all broke. Their homes, all foreclosed.
(Back to the mall...)
Narrator: This was no Saint Nic, but he sure liked his hoes...
(Paul starts to grope the black elf)
Narrator: He felt up the elves,
Paul: (Mumbles)
Narrator: so they slapped him and said:
White elf: If you hit one more of your filthy fingers on her, I'm getting our manager!
(Deck the Halls (1000WTD version) is playing)
Gino England: In begin, Santa can make up to 100 bucks in hour. More as er... that trick Santa, can make up to 175 to 200 bucks in hour. If Santa works 40 hours a week during holiday season, it can bring up to $10000 in holiday wages.
(Paul does drugs, looks at the Christmas ornament, evilly)
Narrator: On refer, on spleen, on blunty, on bone.
Paul: (Evil laugh)
(Paul eats a biscuit and smokes again)
Narrator: This Santa was a junky. All he did, was get stoned.
(The mall manager storms out, scolds Paul)
Narrator: The mall manager got flustered and led out a big cry.
-Mall manager: You're fired, okay? Get out of here! Get out of here!
-Paul: Oh, come on. No.
(2 elves satisfied for firing the stoner)
Narrator: And Santa got busted, for being so high.
Paul: What's going on? Hey!
(As the manager shuts the door, Paul bangs to open)
Narrator: This rat-bearded stoner, finally looked to the sky... and took a large icicle.
(The icicle fall, stabs to Paul's right eye)
Paul: (Screams of pain)
White elf: (Gasps)
Narrator: Right in the eye.
2 elves: (SCREAMS OF HORROR)
(Transfer of Power and Impedance is playing)
Jon Wright: The key to an icicle is a fact that... when water refreezes, it releases his heat. As a water drips down an icicle, the released heat actually forms like a blinked... the top of the icicle forms slowly, the tip of the icicle forms rapidly. Icicle can grow as big as a 100 feet...
(CGI shows the icicle stabs the human's eye)
Jon Wright: ...should does icicles break, you're talking incredibly dangerous situations for pedestrian, people driving cars below, 'course being a situation where people actually being killed by icicle falling from buildings and different locations.
(Recap)
Narrator: This Santa was a loser, no doubt about that.
Paul: (Mumbles)
Narrator: Merry Christmas to all,
-Mall manager: You're fired, okay? Get out of here!
-Paul: Oh, come on.
(Paul bangs the door)
Narrator: And thank God he got whacked.
(The icicle fall, stabs to Paul's right eye)
Paul: (Screams of pain)
2 elves: (SCREAMS OF HORROR)
Cast & Interviewees[]
- Carl Adams - Paul (Lead: Intended victim)
- Tamara Akins - Black elf (Lead)
- Julianna Barninger - White elf (Lead)
- Nate Hubinger - Mall Manager
- Gino England - Mall Santa
- Jon Wright - Meteorologist
Trivia[]
- Also called "Silent Night" on the Spike TV website.
- This death is likely based on numerous deaths from falling icicles, including the case of five people from Samara, Russia dying in this fashion in 2008. As well as in Italy in 1991.
- This icicle accident was based on a similar death scene from Black Christmas.
- The reading of this story is a parody of the poem A Visit from St. Nicholas.
- The mall santa, Gene "Gino" Reed England passed away in 2015.
- This is the first of three deaths where in the Latin American Spanish dub it's named "Ojo por Ojo" (Eye for an Eye). The second one is Eye Swallow and the third one is Eye So Horny.
Goof[]
- When the camera tilted down in the beginning, some kind of Christmas tree's branch's shadow moved.
- When Paul smoked weed, he doesn't cough while we hear the cough.
Segment Nicknames[]
- Silent Night (Spike TV)
- Jingle Bells, Death Smells
- Ho-Ho-HORRIFIC!!
- Ice-Dicked Santa
- Santa's Ice-olation
- Deadly Sight
Foreign Names[]
- Gelada (Ice cold) [Slang for a bad situation] - Brazilian Portuguese dub
- Ojo por Ojo (Eye for an Eye) - Latin American Spanish dub
- Ojo con el Carámbano (Watch Out for the Icicle) - European Spanish dub
Gallery[]
