1000 Ways To Die Wiki

"Gory Holed", Way to Die #826, is the second death featured in "Death – The Gift That Lasts Forever", which aired on August 22, 2011.


Bernie is an elderly man who managed to purchase a computer through money from social security checks. When his wife walks in and says they planned to go to the movies, Bernie blows her off to use an adult chat room and poses as a 24 year old male and talks to an 18 year old blonde female (who is in reality, also another dirty old man). When Bernie asks for pictures, the dial-up modem slows the download down and makes Bernie impatient. To pass the time, Bernie impatiently bounces up and down in his swivel chair (causing a friction between the cylinder parts and the gas within, which later heats up and explodes), waiting for his porn. This causes the cylinder from the chair to rocket up and impale Bernie in his rectum, sending him into shock, and killing him, sending the unfaithfully perverted old man to Hell as he deserves. When his wife checks in, she’s horrified and saddened to see him dead, and starts sobbing over her husband's demise.

"His dial-up modem was making his download take forever. But then...his CHAIR exploded."


  • Pat Contri - Internet Historian
  • Gary Kauffman - Engineer


Foreign names

  • Hoyo Sangriento (Bloody Hole) - Latin American dub.
  • Gory Holed.jpg
    Schleudersitz (Ejection Seat) - German dub