Gratefully Dead[]
"If you find yourself on this show, run, or else you might wind up like the guy who took his own temperature, or the purse snatcher who took the fall. How about the muscle head who needed a lift, and the goth chick whose only sin was shopping? There's the sex addict who was way too smokin', a bungee jumper who took a dive, an idiot who should've stayed in bed, and a cow lover who got milked. No one gets out alive on this next episode of 1000 Ways to Die."
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 18.
Originally aired January 13, 2010.
Title reference: A pun on the folk-rock band Grateful Dead.
-- This is the Original Episode
Mercury in Uranus[]
Way to Die #599
Carl Dunbar
On July 28, 1979, in Norman, OK. A frequent hospital patient who pleasures himself by sticking common objects up his anus returns when he claims to have gotten a shampoo bottle stuck in his rectum by slipping in the shower. While left alone after the bottle is removed, he finds a drawer containing glass rectal mercury thermometers and shoves nine of them taped together up his anus. When startled by the doctor, the man jumps back on the bed and breaks the thermometers while they are still inside of him, causing internal bleeding and mercury poisoning.
Alt names - Thermometers of Terror
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Death By Request -- Runner Up B".
A Turn For The Purse[]
Way to Die #297
Mikey
On October 9, 2003, in Dallas, TX. A stripper living in a suburban town has her purse stolen by a mugger on a bicycle, who threatens her with a screwdriver. A nearby man sees the mugger and goes after him. The mugger speeds away, but hits his bike on a rock and flies onto a lawn, where he impaled on his screwdriver through his heart. The stripper then takes her purse back and calmly walks away.
Alt names - Invasion of the Purse Snatcher
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Dead Weight[]
Way to Die #102
Pete
On March 9, 2002, in Newton, MA. A drunk weightlifter makes a bet with his workout partner that he can lift a 350 pound I-beam he found at a construction site, but ends up dropping it on his chest after losing his grip, crushing his windpipe.
Alt names - Deathlifted
Cult Evaded[]
Way to Die #310
Religious Fanatic
On September 20, 2000, in Encino, CA. A teenaged girl who has been in foster homes for most of her life is taken in by an extremely devout Christian couple. On her first day living with them, they are immediately convinced that she is possessed by the Devil because of her tattoos, piercings, dark make-up, and interest in the Goth subculture (including having a boyfriend who is Goth), so they and two friends from their church try to exorcise her by tying her to the ground inside an enclosed tent and burning a large amount of coal and incense to rid her of the alleged demons inside her. As the coal and incense create more smoke inside the tent, everyone (except for her, who was so low to the ground that she had a layer of fresh air above her) drops dead from carbon monoxide inhalation. She then unties herself and happily heads off to the mall, unfazed over their deaths.
Alt names - Excess-orcism
Smoke-A-Doped[]
Way to Die #463
Mindy
On October 14, 1997, in Newark, DE. A man refuses to have sex with his sex addict girlfriend unless she quits smoking. The woman finds a box of nicotine patches in her bathroom and puts a month's worth of them all over her body, thinking they will make her break her addiction overnight. However, the excess of nicotine overloads her system and she dies of cardiac arrest.
Alt names - Patched Away
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Two Stoopid[]
Way to Die #655
On March 15, 2005, in Portland, ME and Reno, NV. This episode features two deaths in one, and both take place at the same time but in different states:
- A man attempts to create a new "sport" by tying a mattress to his friend's truck and holding on to it. The rope holding the mattress comes loose and the man falls off the truck at a fast speed, hitting the desert ground and breaking most of his ribs.
- A man attempts to bungee jump off a cherry picker. However the rope he's using is too long and he smacks the pavement below him and breaks his ribs.
Alt names - Double Death
Cream-ated[]
Way to Die #204
Bernard
On August 20, 2008, La Crosse, WI. A man who suffered mental and sexual abuse from his sadistic uncle in a cow costume develops a fetish for drinking milk straight from a cow's udders. On this particular occasion, he is kicked in the head when he accidentally bites the cow's teat, and dies when his brain bleeds out inside his skull.
Alt names - Cow-Punked
Rolled Death[]
Way to Die #313
On April 19, 2003, Palm Desert, CA. A young woman is a gold digger who marries an old man for his money. While they were in the car, the woman's veil gets caught in the car tire in the time the veil it's around her neck, choking the young bride and later decapitating her.
Alt names - Married with Death
(This death is absent from the US version)
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.