1000 Ways To Die Wiki
Advertisement


"Hydrau-licked", Way To Die #414, is the first death to be featured on "Cure for the Common Death, Part II" which aired on December 15, 2010.

Plot[]

Jesse was a low-rider, meaning he had a low-riding car and competing in low-riding competitions. He was pretty good at it too, but, his only problem was he would get insanely jealous if somebody made eyes at his girlfriend, Pinki. On this day, Jesse was competing against another low-rider, when he caught him looking at Pinki. In a jealous rage, Jesse forgets to screw in a bolt that keeps the hydraulic spring connected to his car. At the end of the match, Jesse wins. However, his car then rears up to an almost vertical angle, so when it comes down, the spring shoots out from under the car. It hits Jesse in the chest and ultimately knocks him right underneath the car. The 2-ton car jumps up and down on his chest and head, crushing him in an instant and also killing him instantly, sending the bastard to Hell. A terrible accident, all because of an unscrewed bolt and it was his own fault. Pinki was horrified that the wheels crushed his rib cage and fractured his skull, bleeding into his brain.

"His car reared up in victory, but when it came down..."

Transcript[]

(Funny And Funky Dance Party is playing, footage of lowriding is shown)

Narrator: The lowrider scene is a cutthroat world where car owners compete to see who's got the dopest ride.

(Jesse arrives at the competition)

Narrator: So far, nobody could beat Jesse.

(Jesse hi-fives some of his homies)

Jesse: Wassup? Yeah! Woo!

Narrator: With his girl by his side,

Jesse: It's my girl, Pinki.

Narrator: Jesse took on all comers.

Jesse: Who is that? Show you somethings at them. At 'em, bro.

(Jesse gets in the bottom of his ride)

Narrator: Before he got to hopping, Jesse needed to tweak his car's hydraulics.

Juan Morales: A hydraulic system started being put on cars in the early 1960s. Uh, the reason for it was being a low rider the police would pull you over your car was too low to the ground, it's gotta be a certain height in order to drive it on the street,... but what the guys did, they put hydraulic system on it to alter...their height.

([] is playing)

Narrator: Jesse had one big problem: He was insanely jealous about Pinki.

(The rivalries check on Pinki)

Narrator: Anyone who looked her way…

(While Jesse's busy working, he didn't notice the nut fallen, instead he saw Pinki looking at the rivalries)

Narrator: found the pint-sized hot head in their face.

(Jesse gets up aggressively)

Jesse: What the hell are you looking at?!

Pinki: I wasn't looking…!

(Jesse grabs Pinki, Drama Purgatory is playing, Jesse confronts the rivalries like some barking dogs)

Pinki: Hey, chill out! What are you-

Jesse: Wassup, fool?!!! Huh?!! You checking at my girl, goon?!!!

Narrator: The little bantam would never throw a punch. He let his car, do the fighting...

Jesse: Get your car running, dog, let's do this! Turnin' hot!

(The lowriding competition begins, Master of Death is playing)

Narrator: The rules were simple: Whoever hopped highest, won.

(Jesse presses the hydraulic remote when the tires are on the ground, just like quick time event)

Narrator: Jesse was about to carve another notch in his "fan belt"...

Jesse: That's how you are, bitch!

Narrator: His car reared up in victory,

(Jesse hopped the highest, raises his arms of victory)

Man: Yes!

Pinki: Yeah!

Man: That's how you feel, man!

Narrator: but when it came down...

(When Jesse's ride lands, the spring shoots out from under the car. It hits Jesse in the chest and ultimately knocks him right underneath the car, crushes him, [] is playing)

Jesse: (Groans of pain)

Pinki: Oh my god! Oh my god!! Oh my god...!

(Demonic Introduction is playing, replay of Jesse working on his car)

Narrator: It was his own fault: When Jesse was working on his car, he didn't notice a crucial nut had come off the suspension.

(Jesse confronts the rivalries like some barking dogs)

Jesse: Wassup, fool?!!!

Narrator: He was too worried about Pinki.

(Replay of match)

Narrator: The ball joint snapped,

(CGI lowrider's spring shoots out from the car, hits the human, the other car crushes the skull)

Narrator: A 3 ton coil spring, shot out like a cannon.

Dr. Boyd Flinders: The car bounced on his head, it crushed his skull. There was tearing through the lining skull called the dura, bleeding into his brain.

(The replay of the rivalry's car crushing Jesse)

Dr. Boyd Flinders: As the car bounced up and down on his chest, it cracked all of his ribs,

(Back to CGI car crushes the chest and legs)

Dr. Boyd Flinders: perforated the lungs. He couldn't bring any air into his body. Not a good way to die.

(Recap of Jesse hi-fives his homies, Bittersweet Ending is playing)

-Jesse: Yeah! Woo!
-Narrator: Jesse was a little guy with a hot chick and a cool car.

Jesse: That's how you are, bitch!

Narrator: But he overheated

Jesse: What the hell are you looking at?!

Narrator: and wound up...

(When Jesse's ride lands, the spring shoots out from under the car. It hits Jesse in the chest and ultimately knocks him right underneath the car, crushes him)

-Pinki: Oh my god!
-Narrator: beyond repair.

Pinki: Oh my god...!

Cast & Interviewees[]

Segment Description[]

  • "A gangsta car customizer is crushed by his bouncing lowrider."

Trivia[]

Segment Nicknames[]

  • Hubcapped (Spike TV)
  • Riding High, Falling Hard
  • Low-Down Bounce-off

Foreign Names[]

  • Hidraulizado (Hydraulized) - Latin American Spanish dub
  • Rebotado (Rebounded) - European Spanish dub
  • Hidraulitado (Hydraulited) - Brazilian portuguese dub

Gallery[]

Advertisement