"Kill Basa", Way to Die #510, is the sixth death featured in "The Lighter Side of Death", which aired on March 1, 2009.
Plot[]
A man named Donny was a fellow who constantly got laughed out of the men's locker room and out of the bedroom for his "small crotch rocket."
Donny wants to impress women with a "large package." Knowing his penis won't cut it, he uses surgical tubing to tie a twelve-inch kielbasa sausage to his upper thigh. The ladies and some men were drawn to his "package."
However, he ties the sausage so tight that it cuts off his circulation. The blood in his clogged artery constructs into a clot over the next several hours, eventually traveling to his lungs, killing him, and sending him to heaven where no one would laugh at him for his “small crotch rocket.”
"For Donny, size mattered a little too much. But for one night, this tiny, tiny man had something special between his legs...something to die for."
Transcript[]
(Donny goes to the bathroom)
Narrator: Disco Donny Donnoche, is obsessed with size. He spent his whole life being laughed at men in the locker room and women in the bedroom.
(Donny gets the kielbasa out of the plastic bag)
Narrator: Tonight, he's fighting back. His choice of weapon: a 12-inch kielbasa.
Alex Katehakis: I think that kind of guy does that is someone who feels unbelievably unsure of themselves and really really insecure.
(Donny ties the kielbasa on the right thigh with tube)
Narrator: He gets his neetment in place. Ties it down with some surgical tubing, and off he goes, ready take the club, with his clog.
(Massive Hip Hop Sex is playing, Donny enters in the nightclub, a black woman surprises what she sees)
Narrator: It's like he always dreamed would be.
(Another woman feels pleased to see, other woman is very displeased)
Narrator: All lies and drawn, Donny's all stuffed crotch.
(Another woman bites her hand of surprise; Later, Funny And Funky Dance Party is playing, Donny's kielbasa is rubber by a female dancer)
Narrator: For 4 long, really long hours, Donny is the man. One by one the girls take turn pain tribute to Donny's salami. There's enough for everyone. Well... almost.
(A man dances with Donny, much displease for Donny, pushes him away)
Alex Katehakis: Instead of him saying "Here's why I really am as a man",
(Another woman crouches down and take pictures of her with "penis" with her phone)
Alex Katehakis: he's creating his fake penis and wanted to get attention by how big it is. If a woman is attracted to that ironically, he-he's gonna take her home and show 'em... show her a sausage.
(All hail to Donny "The Man", Donny taps his sausage, Death by Riff Rock 2 is playing is playing)
Narrator: Suddenly at a high of his triumph, something's wrong...
(Donny is still dancing)
Narrator: It's like a 1000 scalpels, are stabbing his chest.
(Donny feels hot and dizzy, takes off the shirt's buttons)
Narrator: His boogie night starts to blur...
(Donny falls)
Dr. Vyshali Rao: There's no way that you can tourniquet off any limb of your body for hours without having horrible consequences.
(Donny scratches his chest)
Narrator: He drops to the dance floor, disco Donny, is dead.
(Cages of Death is playing, CGI shows the kielbasa blocks the vein, causing to make a blood clot, makes its way into the right lung, blocks it, turn off, makes the heart stop beating)
Dr. Vyshali Rao: You get a clot in the leg because you thought this rubber hose tied to your legs so that leg is not get any circulation. That clot slowly makes its way up into the heart, makes its way into the lung, it's logged into the lung, you end up dying at the massive pulmonary embolism because the blood can't get to the lung where it supposed to.
(Mysterious Death is playing, recap of Donny, still dancing, takes off the shirt's buttons, scratches his chest, drops)
Narrator: For Donny, size mattered a little too much. But for one night, this tiny, tiny man had something special between his legs...something to die for.
Cast & Interviewees[]
- Tanner Horn - Disco Donnie (Lead: Intended victim)
- Dr. Vyshali Rao - Herself (Cardiologist)
Trivia/Goofs[]
- Anachronism: Although the scene is set in 1996, a modern cell phone (with photographic capabilities) is depicted in one shot.
- Some transitions are stripper dance-by, usually seen in Season 1.
- This death takes place 2 years before Botoxicated and 10 years before Homie's Dead.
- The name of the death in the Brazilian Portuguese dub is a pun on "Tamanho é documento" (Size matters), referring to the size of the penises, and the word "Cadaver".
Foreign Names[]
- Salchicha Asesina (Killer Weiner) - Latin American Spanish and European Spanish dubs
- Orgullo (Pride) - Mexican Spanish dub
- Tamanho é Doc-adaver (Size is Doc-adaver) - Brazilian Portuguese dub
Segment Nicknames[]
- Sausage Party
- The Sausage that Got Away
Gallery[]
