"Lazy Bumday", Way to Die #914, is the fifth death to be featured in "Locked and Low Dead", which aired on February 29, 2012.
Plot[]
Harry is a lazy scammer who is immobilized due to his ankles breaking and is confined to a power wheelchair. He poses as a Gulf War Veteran and successfully scams people out of their money. After going back to his house, he notices that his unkempt kitchen is infested with maggots. Harry soon finds that maggots have been residing on his back, where they have been feasting on his bedsores for weeks. Harry soon squirmed off his chair, and collapses onto the floor, dead. But he didn't die because of the maggots. It was bad dieting and no exercise that to a toll on his obese body, which caused him to die from massive heart failure.
Transcript[]
(Harry, a scam artist posing as a Gulf War veteran in a wheelchair, is begging for money.)
Narrator: It's hard to hate a guy in a wheelchair...unless that guy is Harry.
Harry: Sir, can you spare a dollar for a Gulf vet?
Narrator: He was no vet.
Harry: Wait, sir! Just a little more...
Narrator: And he wasn't really crippled. His weak ankles finally gave out trying to support his fat lard-butt body.
(A pedestrian drops off a few bucks)
Harry: Is that...? I need a little more than that.
Narrator: He was a sympathy sucking parasite.
(the pedestrian walks away from Harry)
Harry: Wait!
(Harry arrives home from his "shift", his kitchen and living room an unkempt mess. He counts the money he collected from the pedestrians)
Harry: Let's see what we got today.
Narrator: And the sucking was good.
Harry: I never asked so much from stupid people as well.
Narrator: The problem was, Harry was such a total disgusting never-washed-a-dish-in-his-life slob that there was another parasite to worry about: maggots.
(Harry pulls up his shirt, revealing bedsores infested with...maggots?!)
Doug Yanega: What a maggot is, technically speaking, is the larva of the fly that doesn't have chewing mouth parts, and that's about 100,000 different species, so they're usually found in environments where they can feed on food that's either liquid or semi-solid.
Narrator: Maggots enjoy feasting on something rotten, and there was nothing more rotten than Harry's.
(Harry, disgusted, scratches the maggots off his bedsores)
Harry: Oh, God, they're going to my back!
Narrator: They were making a nice, yummy home on Harry's bedsores for weeks.
Doug Yanega: The species of maggots that you would find in the human wound would be sort of like the vultures of the insect world. They'll clean up the infected tissue, they'll consume the bacteria, and in the right circumstances, that's actually a beneficial thing.
Narrator: Being eaten alive by maggots got Harry to do something he hasn't done in years: get up.
(Harry gets out of his chair, only for him to collapse on the floor dead)
Narrator: He squirmed off his chair and collapsed dead. Death by maggots? Nope. They were just getting a free meal. Harry died from massive heart failure.
(CGI: fast food items are used in place of red blood cells, representing Harry's unhealthy lifestyle. The said items are filling up Harry's heart, causing it to stop beating)
Narrator: Bad diet and no exercise clogged his arteries to the point where his ticker couldn't take it anymore.
(Death by Bells is playing)
Narrator: Pretty dumb way to die, but in Harry's case, beggars can't be choosers, ya maggot!
Interviewees[]
- Doug Yanega - Entomologist
Goofs[]
- Even though it takes place in 2001, a person is seen driving a 2005 Ford F-150 Extended Cab at the traffic lights, alongside other modern day vehicles.
Trivia[]
- This death took place on January 5, 2001, while way to die #830 "Ass-Plosion" took place one day prior (January 4, 2001).
- This death also takes place 81 years after Radium Girls and 8 years before Gas Holed (278).
- Also known as "Dirty Rotting Scoundrel" on the Spike TV Website.
- The Latin American doogeel phase makes reference to the slang "A Caballo Regalado, no se me mira el colmillo." (Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.)
- Despite being called maggots, the insects in this segment are mealworms.
- This happened to a liposuction patient.
- In the Ad Council Youth Fitness PSA's, kids gorged on a fictional food called Gopher Cakes, while adults sat on the couch talking on their phones and video gamed, only to be obese. Yet, unlike Harry, they did not die.
- Moral: Make sure clean the dishes and don't leave the dishes not clean and infested with maggot.
Segment Nicknames[]
- Dirty Rotting Scoundrel (Spike TV)
- Filthy Dirty Thief
- Schemin' 'til Death
- Bug Trap
- Bugged Scammer
- Rotting Scams
Foreign Names[]
- Por Gusano (For Being a Worm) - Latin American Spanish and European Spanish dubs
- Verme Sem Coração (Heartless Worm) - Brazilian Portuguese dub
- Schlapp gemacht (Gone Limp) - German dub
- Ka ahon as gusano za lumangin (Worms feasting may be a stopper) - Lazoran dub
Gallery[]
