"Mary Lou Rectum", Way to Die #755, is the second death to be featured in "The One About Dumb People Dying", which aired on February 8, 2011.
Plot[]
Andrea was a bitter gymnast who never managed to be an Olympic star. She had a bad temper and took out her frustrations on her friend and partner, Sally. They were training for a show in Las Vegas and Andrea didn't plan on anyone getting between her and their objectives, a worker told them that he needed 10 more minutes to prepare everything but Andrea did not listen to him, when they went to the trampoline, Andrea let the bad mood of the menstrual pains control her and criticized Sally, Andrea got on the trampoline to show her how doing so and she somersaulted backwards and fell on a metal tube (the worker man had not prepared the asymmetrical parallel bars), Andrea fell with enough force and the tube went through her rectouterine pouch, crossed her organs, causing bleeding, her heart stopped and died, sending this bitch to the hell where she belonged and leaving Sally horrified.
Transcript[]
([] is playing, segment begins with two gymnasts, one in a pink leotard, the other in a purple, both stretching. Andrea is the one in purple, and Sally is the one in pink.)
Narrator: Andrea was a frustrated gymnast who never realized her dream of making the U.S Olympic team.
Andrea: Do you really think you have what it takes?
Narrator: Now she takes it out on her fellow gymnast friend, Sally.
Andrea: You know how many pounds you have gained?
Narrator: They're training for a Vegas stage show that involves a lot of...gymnastics.
(Andrea rolls her eyes and forces Sally to stretch down even more)
Andrea: Down, down.
(A frustrated Sally just looks away. [] is playing as former gymnast Aimee Zanonni begins speaking, while Andrea and Sally train for the show)
Aimee Zanonni: The girls' and women's gymnastics can be, completely cutthroat. Everybody thinks they're the, cute little girls and...and everything's beautiful and pretty. It is, NOT that way at all. Uhh, it can get downright vicious!
(Return to the main scene, [] is playing and a maintenance man is setting up parallel bars)
Maintenance Man: Hey ladies, we ain't quite open yet. It'll be another ten minutes until it's set up.
Andrea: We HAVE to use this right now!
([] is playing, with Andrea completely ignoring the worker's warning)
Narrator: Andrea wasn't about let anyone come between her and her goals.
(Andrea finishes her somersault)
Andrea: See if you can do that one.
(Sally replicates the move to the best of her ability)
Narrator: It was Vegas, or bust.
Andrea: Try keeping your feet together next time.
([] is playing. This next scene takes place at the trampoline where Sally is jumping; it's also the area where the worker is setting up the parallel bars)
Narrator: When they hit the trampoline, Andrea launched into a full-board, PMS, bitch-a-thon.
Andrea: Why don't you actually try this time?!
(Sally doesn't say anything, despite being visibly frustrated. [] is playing)
Andrea: You wanna see how to be a real gymnast?! Watch me!
(Andrea is jumping and jumping on the trampoline)
Andrea: This, is how, you DO IT!
(Andrea somersaults backwards in slow-mo)
Narrator: And then...
(Andrea ends up falling on a metal tube, impaling herself in the rectum. [] is playing)
Sally: (SCREAMS)
Narrator: She stuck, her landing.
(The camera pans on Andrea bleeding from the rectum. Replay to the scene of the maintenance man setting up the parallel bars while [] plays)
Narrator: She should've listened to the maintenance man. He hadn't finished setting up the uneven parallel bars.
(And replay of the scene of Andrea jumping onto the pole)
Andrea: This, is how, you DO IT!
(Andrea somersaults backwards in slow-mo)
Narrator: Andrea came down with enough force to run the metal pole deep into her body.
Sally: (SCREAMS)
([] is playing, a CGI of the death is shown while Dr. Michael Kurtz, a medical practitioner, explains Andrea's death)
Dr. Michael Kurtz: Metal pipe, went through her rectouterine pouch, and what that is that's an area between the rectum and the uterus. Blunt force trauma like this can cause severe proliferation of the internal organs, resulting in severe bleeding and hemorrhaging; which can't be stopped. And the person would lose consciousness, pass out, heart would stop, and they'd die. And this can take seconds.
(Recap, [] is playing)
Narrator: Andrea was a bitter gymnast who took out her frustrations on her friend.
Andrea: Why don’t you actually try this time?!
(Sally doesn't say anything, despite being visibly frustrated)
Narrator: If Sally was a little meaner...
Andrea: This, is how, you DO IT!
Narrator: She would have told her friend Andrea...
(Andrea somersaults backwards in slow-mo, only to end up falling on a metal tube, impaling herself in the rectum)
Sally: (SCREAMS)
Narrator: To "STICK IT UP YOUR RECTOUTERINE POUCH, BITCH!"
Trivia[]
- This is the first death in season 4 to feature a death of a female.
- This is the first death that set in 2010s.
- This death takes place 26 years after Pop and Lox.
- This video in Latin America, YouTube Famous user "1000 Maneras de morir en español" (means "1000 Ways To Die" in Spanish) got a 1.4 million views on this year. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hq4-DGfxzg "WARNING: GORE"
- The video is currently around 5.2 million views and is the most viewed video on the channel.
- In addition, Rookie Raceway's upload of this segment on YouTube earned 1.1 million views as of typing. Making it the most viewed segment of 1000 Ways To Die on his channel. (Please note The Paramount Network have blocked all 1000 ways to die reuploads)
- Called "Lady and the Trampoline" in Spike TV's website.
- This death is most likely a spin-off or a reference to Final Destination 5 when Candice died while practicing for acrobatics the same way Andrea was. However, both deaths are different.
- Andrea's death is similar to that of Toothy's injury in Happy Tree Friends web series episode: "Brake the Cycle", Bernie's death in Gory Holed, and Handy's death in Happy Tree Friends web series episode: "Too Much Scream Time".
Cast & Interviewees[]
- Jennifer Thompson - Andrea (Lead: Intended victim)
- Christianne Sainz - Sally (Lead)
- Aimee Zanonni - Former Gymnast
- Dr. Michael Kurtz - Medical Practitioner
Segment Nicknames[]
- Lady and the Trampoline (Spike TV)
- Gym-nasty
Foreign Names[]
- El Recto de Mary Lou (Mary Lou's Rectum) - Latin American Spanish dub
- Mary Lou Recto (Mary Lou Rectum) - European Spanish Dub
- Salto Retal (Rectal Jump) [A play on "Salto mortal" (Somersault)] Brazilian Portuguese dub
- Dame und das Trampolin (Lady and the Trampoline) - German dub
Gallery[]
Behind The Scenes[]
