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"Master E-Raced", Way to Die #744, is the seventh and last death featured in "Killing Them Softly", which aired on March 9, 2011.

Plot[]

It's 1945 and World War II is drawing to a close. A Nazi soldier named Dieter runs down a flight of stairs to escape from an American soldier, but is caught by the soldier and shot in the head. Unbeknownst to the soldier, Dieter survived the shot and 50 years later in 1995, he remained alive and well, now living in Brooklyn, New York where he and his wife Gertrude, lived in secrecy after hooking up with an underground Nazi relocation network named Odessa; he retained loyalty to the group, wearing special SS cufflinks with his outfit and delivering a Nazi greeting as he is seen putting them on. Dieter argues in German with his wife Gertrude when she doesn't put enough milk in his oatmeal, prompting Dieter to go to the refrigerator to get some milk himself.

Still arguing about the milk, Dieter accidentally bumps his head on the freezer door when he bends over, causing the bullet (which had stopped itself just beside an important blood vessel, waiting all that time) to finally dislodge and sever the blood vessel, causing internal hemorrhaging in his brain and his quick death, sending the Nazi straight to hell and confusing his wife.

Transcript[]

(Near-end WW2, an SS flee from American soldier)

Narrator: It's 1945, and WW2 was drawing to a close.

(These guys shoot each other but missed)

Narrator: The Americans were doing what they did best: kicking Nazi butt. This SS scum put up a good fight,

(The soldier finally headshot the SS, the soldier checks the body with his foot, seemingly confirms that he's dead, and proceeds to walk away)

Narrator: but he was no match for a red-blooded American bullet in the head.

(SS opens his eyes, realizes that he isn't dead yet, and gets up walking away like it was nothing; Drama Purgatory is playing)

Narrator: But the German... wasn't dead!

(50 years later... SS checks his head, all clean but with a physical mark of the gunshot)

Narrator: 50 years later, he was alive and well. And living out his days as an American citizen in Brooklyn, New York. Say hello to Dieter.

(Dieter opens the box with SS cufflinks in it, puts the SS links on his wrists)

Narrator: After the war, he hooked up with an underground Nazi relocation network, called ODESSA (1946-).

Dieter: Es ist Superhaus. (It's superhouse.)

Gertrude: (Sighs)

John Prudhont: In 1946, ODESSA was created,

(Footage of Hitler salutes people)

John Prudhont: but there were other smuggling networks, that uh... pre-existed at the end of the war. Many of the Schutzstaffel or SS, uh... were relocated to Latin America. And from there they were able to obtain new identities and they were able to migrate anywhere.

(Dieter argues his wife that he'll be late for work)

Dieter: Gats miner gutta for dat nomao! (Damn it Gertrude!)

(Gertrude made a breakfast for her master race husband, [] is playing)

Narrator: Even after all these years, Dieter was still one sour kraut.

(Dieter bangs the table of anger)

Dieter: By e gutta, nicht genug milch kanoon! (Not enough milk!)

(Dieter moves to the fridge to find milk)

Narrator: The master racist made an angry milk run to the fridge...

(Dieter accidentally hits his head on the fridge)

Dieter: Ouf!

Gertrude: Barritissien viengetach! (I make the same every day!)

([] is playing, Dieter stumbles a bit as he feels his head before falling to the floor, dead)

Narrator: and never made it back.

Gertrude: (Unverständlich) Dummkopf! (Unverständlich) ((Inaudible) You fool! (Inaudible))

(Flashback to the headshot by an American soldier, [] is playing)

Narrator: When Dieter was shot...

(The CGI human got shot in the brain, but the bullet is near of the artery)

Narrator: The bullet penetrated his skull and wound up right next to a major artery in his brain. For 50 years, it waited to finish the job.

(Flashback of Dieter hits his head with the fridge)

Dieter: Ouf!

Narrator: Dieter's head knock finally did the trick.

(Dieter feels the pain in his head, falls to death, [] is playing, CGI showcases when head hit the top of the furniture, the bullet moves, cuts the artery)

Dr. Pavel Bindra: There was an important blood vessel just by the bullet: when this man got another hit to the head, the bullet dislodged and it severed the blood vessel, it affected brain function, it caused some bleeding and he died.

(Recap of young Dieter shot in the head, [] is played)

Narrator: Dieter thought he had cheated death...

(The soldier headshot the SS, but survived, 50 years later...)

Narrator: ...but the former Nazi had no idea death can be so patient.

(Dieter hits his head on the fridge)

Dieter: Ouf!

Narrator: As for the bullet in his head...

(Dieter falls to death, Gertrude is confused)

Narrator: It was just... *in German accent* following orders.

Gertrude: Dummkopf! (You fool!)

Cast and Interviewees[]

  • David Roy Butler - Young Dieter (lead: intended victim)
  • Pamela Munro - Gertrude
  • John Prudhont - Military Historian
  • Dr. Pavel Bindra - Cardiac Electrophysiologist

Trivia[]

  • The story leaves out some details, like the actual date he died.
  • This death is most likely based on the legend of Henry Ziegland. In 1893, after calling off his upcoming marriage, his heartbroken fiancé committed suicide. Enraged and distraught, her brother stormed onto Ziegland's property and shot at his head before turning the gun on himself. However, the bullet merely grazed Ziegland's head, embedding itself into a nearby tree. Twenty years later, while working in the garden with his son, needing to get rid of a tree, he rigged it with dynamite. Unbeknownst to either of them, this was the same tree that housed the same bullet that missed him by a few inches. Upon, detonating the dynamite, the bullet was released and struck Ziegland in the head, killing him instantly.
  • If Dieter had gotten surgery, it would have been a near death experience, as he was shot in the head and the bullet was next to an important blood vessel in his brain, so no matter how hard the doctors try to remove the bullet, it would or would not have caused his demise.
Master E-Raced

Dummkopf!

Segment Nickname[]

  • Dishonorable Discharge (Spike TV website)
  • Blast from the Past
  • Blood Devil
  • By The Brain

Foreign names[]

  • Golpe Maestro (Master Blow) - Latin American dub
  • Un Nazi Menos (One Nazi Down) - Spanish dub
  • Erro-Dicado (Wrong-Dicated) - Brazilian dub
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