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|date = March 15, 2009
  
|date = March 15, 2009
 
|location = Lamy, New Mexico
  
|location = Lamy, New Mexico
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|episode = [[A New App Called Death]]|imagewidth = 300px|image = File:Mastur-bitten.png|previous = [[Kill Bill & Billie]]
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|episode = [[A New App Called Death]]
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|imagewidth = 300px
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|next = [[Well Chung]]|quote = "Palmer was a disgusting pervert who squeezed himself...and then motel owners. After a tiring day of self-abuse, he had a nice sleep...and then a bite. Ta-ta, freak!" (US Version) <br>
  
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|image = <gallery>
⚫
"Palmer was a nasty pervert who squeezed...and then squeezed hotels. After an exhausting day of masturbation, he took a nice nap...and got a sting. Goodbye, pervert!" (Translated LAT Version) <br>}}'''"Mastur-bitten"''', Way to Die #250, is the seventh and final death featured in the episode "[[A New App Called Death]]", which aired on April 2, 2012.
  
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Introcard 250.png|Introcard
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Mastur-bitten.png|Deathcard
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</gallery>
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|previous = [[Kill Bill & Billie]]<hr>[[American Died'ol]] (Production order)
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|next = [[Well Chung]]<hr>[[Heim-licked]] (Production order)
  ⚫
|quote = "Palmer was a disgusting pervert who squeezed himself...and then motel owners. After a tiring day of self-abuse, he had a nice sleep...and then a bite. Ta-ta, freak!" (US Version) <br>
  ⚫
"Palmer was a nasty pervert who squeezed...and then squeezed hotels. After an exhausting day of masturbation, he took a nice nap...and got a sting. Goodbye, pervert!" (Translated LAT Version)
  +
}}
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  +
'''"Mastur-bitten"''', Way to Die #250, is the seventh and final death featured in the episode "[[A New App Called Death]]", which aired on April 2, 2012.
   
 
==Plot==
  
==Plot==
−
Palmer Muncie is a greedy, perverted con-man impersonating a state health inspector as part of a statewide scam. He goes to local hotels and motels on inspection days, and defrauds them with this tactic; He tells the gullible hotel owner that he works alone, before going into a room and masturbates in it to taint the area with his semen. Then, he shows the stains under a blacklight, threatening to shut their hotel down to extort money from them.
 +
Palmer Muncie is a greedy, perverted con-man illegally impersonating a state health inspector as part of an insidious statewide scam.
  +
  +
He goes to local hotels and motels on inspection days, and defrauds them with this tactic; He would tell a gullible hotel owner that he works alone, before going into a room and masturbating in it, ejaculating onto the bed and tainting the area with his semen. Then, he shows the stains under a black light, threatening to shut their hotel down to extort money and complimentary items from them.
  +
  ⚫
At one local motel, Palmer manages to swindle the staff to get a free night's stay. That night, he goes to sleep with his black light still glowing.
  +
  ⚫
Little did he know, the room Palmer inspected ''was'' infested--in this case, with Arizona bark scorpions, which glow under a black light. The scorpions crawled onto Palmer's bed before stinging him. He wakes up in time to scream from the sting before the venom immediately began shutting down his autonomic nervous system, killing him within seconds.
   
  +
The next morning, Palmer is lying dead with bruises all over his body.
⚫
At one local motel, Palmer manages to swindle the employees and get a free night. That night, he goes to sleep with his blacklight still glowing.
  
   
  +
==Transcript==
⚫
Fortunately for the hotel and unfortunately for Palmer, however, it would soon be clear that the motel he scammed would've benefitted from a real health inspection. Little did he know, the room he managed to weasel his way into was infested with Arizona bark scorpions (which glow under a blacklight). The scorpions crawled onto Palmer's bed before stinging him. The venom immediately began shutting down his autonomic nervous system, killing him within seconds, sending the disgustingly perverted scam-artist straight to Hell.
  
   
  +
'''Narrator:''' Palmer was a disgusting pervert who squeezed himself...and then motel owners. After a tiring day of self-abuse, he had a nice sleep...and then a bite. Ta-ta, freak!
−
Needless to say, Palmer was the first and only victim to be shut down by the very stains he made, thus, saving the hotel from having their money extorted. However, they would still have to deal with the scorpion infestation.
  
   
−
== Interviewees ==
 +
==Interviewees==
−
* Jules Sylvester - Zoologist
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*Jules Sylvester - Zoologist
   
 
==Segment Nickname==
  
==Segment Nickname==
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*Scorpion Dead
  
*Scorpion Dead
 
*Scary Scorpions
  
*Scary Scorpions
  +
 
==Trivia==
  
==Trivia==
 
*The Arizona bark scorpion is the most venomous species of scorpion in North America.
  
*The Arizona bark scorpion is the most venomous species of scorpion in North America.
−
*Palmer has his tendency to say Ta-Ta! (US/UK)/ Adios! (LAT Spanish) after talking to someone. The narrator used the same word in the doggerel to mock Palmer.
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*Palmer has a tendency to say Ta-Ta! (US/UK)/Adios! (LAT Spanish) after talking to someone. The narrator used the same word in the doggerel to mock Palmer.
  +
*Palmer Muncie's death is similar to that of Dave's death in [[Crappy Ending]].
  +
*The name of the death is rather questionable. The death's name implies that Palmer died of getting bitten, but he died from getting stung, not bitten.
   
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== Foreign Names ==
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==Foreign Names==
−
* '''Ausgecheckt''' (Checked out)'' - German dub''
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* '''Ausgecheckt''' (Checked Out)'' - German dub''
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*'''Mastur-muerto''' (Pun of "Masturbación" and "Muerto"/Mastur-dead) - ''Latin American dub''
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*'''Mastur-Muerto''' (Mastur-Dead) [Wordplay on "Masturbación" and "Muerto"] - ''Latin American Spanish dub''
  +
*'''Mastur-Amargado''' (Mastur-Bitter) [Wordplay on "Masturbación" and "Amargado"] - ''Spanish dub''
   
 
[[Category:Perverts]]
  
[[Category:Perverts]]
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[[Category:Death as justice]]
  
[[Category:Death as justice]]
 
[[Category:Tricksters death]]
  
[[Category:Tricksters death]]
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[[Category:People Screaming while Dying]]
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[[Category:Screaming victims while dying]]
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[[Category:Screaming people while dying]]
 
[[Category:Death by karma]]
  
[[Category:Death by karma]]
 
[[Category:Death as punishment]]
  
[[Category:Death as punishment]]
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[[Category:Death as consequences]]
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[[Category:Victims screaming while dying]]
 
[[Category:Death by murder]]
  
[[Category:Death by murder]]
 
[[Category:Murdered victims]]
  
[[Category:Murdered victims]]
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[[Category:Nude people]]
  
[[Category:Nude people]]
 
[[Category:Good Riddance]]
  
[[Category:Good Riddance]]
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[[Category:Death as consequences]]
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[[Category:Complete Monster]]
 
[[Category:Doggerels in Different Versions]]
  
[[Category:Doggerels in Different Versions]]
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[[Category:Complete Monster]]
  
 
[[Category:2000s Deaths]]
  
[[Category:2000s Deaths]]
 
[[Category:Naked people]]
  
[[Category:Naked people]]
 
[[Category:A**holes]]
  
[[Category:A**holes]]
 
[[Category:Criminal Deaths]]
  
[[Category:Criminal Deaths]]
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[[Category:Naked victims]]
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[[Category:Naked deaths]]
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[[Category:Deaths in/on a bed]]
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[[Category:2009 Deaths]]
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[[Category:Deathcard Shots]]
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[[Category:Disgusting Deaths]]
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[[Category:Impersonator Deaths]]
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[[Category:Hotel/Motel Deaths]]
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[[Category:Death in March]]
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[[Category:Bloodless Deaths]]
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[[Category:Death Names That Start With Letter M]]

Latest revision as of 01:33, 17 April 2024


"Mastur-bitten", Way to Die #250, is the seventh and final death featured in the episode "A New App Called Death", which aired on April 2, 2012.

Plot

Palmer Muncie is a greedy, perverted con-man illegally impersonating a state health inspector as part of an insidious statewide scam.

He goes to local hotels and motels on inspection days, and defrauds them with this tactic; He would tell a gullible hotel owner that he works alone, before going into a room and masturbating in it, ejaculating onto the bed and tainting the area with his semen. Then, he shows the stains under a black light, threatening to shut their hotel down to extort money and complimentary items from them.

At one local motel, Palmer manages to swindle the staff to get a free night's stay. That night, he goes to sleep with his black light still glowing.

Little did he know, the room Palmer inspected was infested--in this case, with Arizona bark scorpions, which glow under a black light. The scorpions crawled onto Palmer's bed before stinging him. He wakes up in time to scream from the sting before the venom immediately began shutting down his autonomic nervous system, killing him within seconds.

The next morning, Palmer is lying dead with bruises all over his body.

Transcript

Narrator: Palmer was a disgusting pervert who squeezed himself...and then motel owners. After a tiring day of self-abuse, he had a nice sleep...and then a bite. Ta-ta, freak!

Interviewees

  • Jules Sylvester - Zoologist

Segment Nickname

  • Black Light Scorpions -- aired on the Spike TV (now Paramount Network) website.
  • Scorpion Dead
  • Scary Scorpions

Trivia

  • The Arizona bark scorpion is the most venomous species of scorpion in North America.
  • Palmer has a tendency to say Ta-Ta! (US/UK)/Adios! (LAT Spanish) after talking to someone. The narrator used the same word in the doggerel to mock Palmer.
  • Palmer Muncie's death is similar to that of Dave's death in Crappy Ending.
  • The name of the death is rather questionable. The death's name implies that Palmer died of getting bitten, but he died from getting stung, not bitten.

Foreign Names

  • Ausgecheckt (Checked Out) - German dub
  • Mastur-Muerto (Mastur-Dead) [Wordplay on "Masturbación" and "Muerto"] - Latin American Spanish dub
  • Mastur-Amargado (Mastur-Bitter) [Wordplay on "Masturbación" and "Amargado"] - Spanish dub
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