1000 Ways To Die Wiki

"Mercury in Uranus", Way to Die #599, is the first death to be featured in "Gratefully Dead", which aired on January 13, 2010.


A frequent hospital patient named Carl Dunbar who pleasures himself by sticking common objects up his booty bungle returns when he claims to have gotten a shampoo bottle stuck in his rectum by slipping in the shower. While left alone after the bottle is removed, Carl finds a drawer containing glass rectal mercury thermometers and shoves nine of them taped together up his bean burrito. When startled by the doctor, Carl jumps back on the bed and breaks the thermometers while they are still inside of him, causing him to die of internal bleeding and mercury poisoning.

"Even while recovering from his latest anal escapade, Carl was desperate for more probing. A single thermometer wouldn't do much for Carl's crater. But 9 of them taped together might be the perfect fit for Carl's bad cavern. He took the plunge with his makeshift masher. 9 thermometers going in and out his keister was making Carl perfectly...ass-inine."

Cast and Interviewees

  • Dr. Leslie Kobayashi - Trauma Surgeon, was also interviewed for Texas Fold 'Em
  • Dr. Steven Kim - Biochemist
  • Amy Harber - Doctor/Nurse
  • Robin Chappell- Carl (lead:intended victim)

Dead Carl

Foreign names

  • Mercurio en Urano - Latin American dub.
  • Mercurio Anal (Anal Mercury) - Spanish dub.