"Premature Endings", Way to Die #1000, is the seventh and final death to be featured in "Sor-Dead Affair", which aired along with "Locked and Low Dead" as the one-hour season finale on February 29, 2012 and supported to be an series finale. (read Trivia.)
Plot[]
An ambulance was speeding towards Sharon Levy Memorial Hospital and the paramedics were running as fast as they could, you guys already know what was happening, they were bringing in another candidate for 1000 Ways to Die, a drunk driver, he had a steering wheel in his guts and was moaning in pain, he wouldn't live long, oh well, that's life.
About 150,000 people die every day around the planet, did you know that guys? If you behave like idiots, you will end up in an emergency room like this group of losers who had fatal injuries, their blood was spurting everywhere and they were screaming for help.
Everywhere you guys looked in this hospital you would see idiots dying in a bloodbath, there was a pervert who would die from a broken soda bottle inside his butt, a fool who passed out drunk on his table saw and cut off his right leg, a woman who climbed a ladder while holding a knife, fell and the knife stuck in her intestines, a man who had a gas leak and lit a match and many other idiots, none of them would get out of the hospital alive.
In 1000 Ways to Die we have had a lot of fun making fun of morons who kill themselves by accident, in the most idiotic situations, but the ideal would be not to go to the other side like that, don't you think guys?
There are more dignified ways to leave the hotel of life and an old man who was a patient in the hospital proved it, unlike the rest of these idiots he was peacefully dying of natural causes, he lived a long and rewarding life and always supported his family and friends, his daughter came to the hospital and floated through the emergency room, oblivious to the Hell that surrounded her, to visit him, the woman arrived with her father and sadly asked him if he was okay to which the old man told her that he was fine, his daughter's sadness is understandable, she knew that the time had come for her father to leave, then the old man's time came and he went to his deserved place in Heaven while his daughter knew that he would be in a better place.
"In the end, the choice is yours. You can be a total moron, die a victim of your own stupidity, and wind up on our show, or live a long and sensible life, and go home and watch it. All this time, 1000 Ways to Die has been an instructional manual... for how to live."
List of deaths shown[]
Before meeting with the patient dying peacefully[]
"1000 Ways to Die has a lot of fun mocking all the dumbasses who manage to die...in the most idiotic of circumstances. But ideally, that's not how we wanna go, is it?"
- Work Of Fart
- Titty Titty Bang Bang
- Wrin-Killed
- 'Dis Still Killed 'Em
- Boris Bititoff
- Sumowed
- Dead Meat-Eorite
- Board Stiff
- Hammer Head
- Pop Goes The Cholo
- Road Killed
After meeting with the patient dying peacefully[]
"In the end, the choice is yours. You can be a total moron...die a victim of your own stupidity, and wind up on our show...or live a long and sensible life...and go home and watch it. All this time, 1000 Ways to Die has been an instructional manual...for how to live."
- Super Zero
- Dead Mime ☺
- Nine Inch Nailed
- Tow F.U.
- Dead Necked
- Bush Whacked 3: Waxed Off
- Dead Light Green Light
- Cham-Pained
- Heart Beat Down
- Strang-Girled
- Her Own Damn Fault!!!
- As-Capped
- Shop Till You Drown
- Less Is Mormon
- Dough!!!
- Velvet Dope
- Extinguished
- Chain On You
- Rhymes With "Rich"
- Miner Injuries
- Branched Out
- Ex'd Ex
- Spit-Ill
- Homie's Dead
Transcript[]
(An ambulance drives to Sharon Levy Memorial Hospital)
Narrator: Uh oh, what do we have here? Another candidate for a 1000 Ways to Die story.
(A man is seen with a steering wheel jammed in his lower body)
Narrator: A drunk driver. He won't live long with that steering wheel in his gut.
(The medics bring the man into the hospital)
Narrator: Oh well, that's life.
(Other victims are seen in the hospital)
Narrator: You know, everyday around the world, approximately 150,000 people die.
(A woman is seen with blood dripping from her head)
Woman: Please help!
Narrator: If you're not a complete idiot, you won't wind up like this bunch of losers in this hospital ER room.
(A man is seen with his mouth duct-taped shut and a chain wrapped around his neck)
Narrator: This perv will die from a broken soda bottle lodged up his butt.
(Cuts to a man in a wheelchair with his leg cut off with a knife, man screams)
Narrator: This numb-nut passed out drunk on his table saw and cut his own leg off.
(Cuts to a woman with a knife in her chest and her internal organs poking out)
Narrator: She fell off a ladder while holding a knife.
(Cuts to a man passed out with black marks all over)
Narrator: He had a gas leak...
(The doctor uses the defibrillators on the man, but to no avail)
Narrator: ...and lit a match.
(Cuts to another victim)
Narrator: None of them will make it through the night.
(Cue a montage of previously seen deaths)
Narrator: 1000 Ways to Die has a lot of fun mocking all the dumbasses who manage to die...
Jeb: I've gone blind, Mabel!
Narrator: ...in the most idiotic of circumstances. But ideally, that's not how we wanna go, is it?
(Cuts back to the hospital, a woman is seen exiting the elevator and walking through the chaos)
Narrator: There are more dignified ways to check out of life's hotel. This woman, floating through the ER room, is oblivious to the hell around her. She's here to visit her father...
(Cuts to an old man in a hospital bed)
Narrator: ...who is dying. He's lived a long and rewarding life and was always there for his family and friends.
(The woman sits down and comforts her father)
Woman: Dad?
Narrator: His daughter is understandably sad.
Woman: Are you okay?
Old Man: I'm fine.
Narrator: But she also knows it's his time to go.
(The woman starts crying)
(Cue another montage of previously seen deaths)
Narrator: In the end, the choice is yours.
(Montage of the deaths of several idiots in the show: Andy falling from the roof, Marcello choking with the pickle, Clark rolling inside the tire, Dave getting hit by the hook, Cannon getting hit by the turkey, Nancy dying from her aquagenic urticaria)
Narrator: You can be a total moron...
(Steve getting run over by the SUV, Heather falling on the pyramid of glasses, Charles falling from the fence by a heart attack, Liz being strangled when her platinum necklace gets stuck in the massager, Kimberly being hit by Leah with the tennis ball)
Narrator: die a victim of your own stupidity, and wind up on our show...
(Arthur shooting to his oxygen bottle)
Arthur: I made you!
(Cecilia falling on top of the pool cover, Brother Kether falling into his own trap with spikes)
Narrator: or live a long and sensible life...
(Bob being strangled by the dough machine)
Narrator: and go home and watch it.
(Benny being impaled by the awning, Andre being stabbed by the handle of the fire extinguisher, Leslie getting hit by Amber's motorcycle chain, Jenny falls and the barbell falls on her, Travis hits the rock with the pickaxe and the methane explodes)
Narrator: All this time,
(Deacon being impaled by the branch, Morgan getting run over by the trailer, Louise burning her face with the grill and Vince falling from the balcony)
Narrator: 1000 Ways to Die has been an instructional manual...
(Cuts back to the room, the old man is now dead)
Narrator: ...for how to live.
Trivia[]
- This Way to Die reaches the bottom of the list at #1000.
- This death has no interviewees, as dying of old age is one of the most common ways to die in real life. In many developed countries, almost everyone who dies does so due to complications related to age.
- Like Ichiboned, this death is sometimes considered one of the most wholesome, as all the people involved died from a normal situation that could happen to anyone, and the people involved had not done anything morally wrong or stupid beforehand.
- This is one of only several deaths along with Ichiboned, Pissed Off, Crappy Ending, The Chokes On You, Coming & Going, Jake N' Baked and Frightmare in where the victim is actually innocent of doing anything wrong.
- As the 1000th and final way to die, it reflects on some of the previous deaths shown throughout the series.
- The main deceased character in this death is the only one to not die from any injuries, catastrophes, germs, toxins, or illnesses.
- This is the second death from 2011 featured in this series. Apocalypse Harley is the second-youngest, 34 days away.
- This death was intended to be the series finale, but 1000 Ways to Die was renewed for another season. It was instead featured in the finale of Season 5.
- If this series doesn't get renewed for another season, this series would've end on same year, and season 5 would been as a series finale instead of season 6, then none of this should be happened.
- For some reason, in the Spanish dub of the series, Sharon Levy Memorial Hospital is depicted as being located in London, England (the setting for Ex-Squeezed), but it's doubtful that this is true.
- The intro to this death is in motion.
- Despite being #1000, it is not the final death in the series, because, as mentioned earlier, the series was renewed. The final death in the series is Phlegm Phatale. however, if they swapped the segments, that segment would be on this episode instead.
- For those deaths that appeared before and after the patient dying peacefully, they are all archive footage.
- The pervert with his mouth taped shut who would die from a broken soda bottle lodged up his rectum may have been inspired by Mercury in Uranus.
- Like Poly-Ass-Turd, the intro card is in motion.
- It's also the only death where sound from the death is used in the intro card. (The man who sawed off his leg screaming)
- Every death that was shown after the victim died were either from season 4 or season 5.
- The unnamed old man is the second person in the series to die of old age and natural causes, with the first being Arthur from the death ReTired.
Foreign names[]
- Finales Prematuros (Premature Endings) - Latin American, Pluto TV and Spanish dubs
- Finais Prematuros (Premature Endings) - Brazilian Portuguese dub
- Es geht auch Friedlich (It also goes Peacefully) - German dub
Segment Nicknames[]
- Long Goodbye (Spike TV website)
- Goodbye, Farewell and Amen
- A Peaceful Ending
- The Last Death Standing :(
- The End.
Gallery[]
