"Red, White and Blew", Way to Die #77, is the first death to be featured in "Cure for the Common Death, Part I", which aired on March 22, 2009.
Plot[]
Bernie and his buddies celebrate the 4th of July by getting drunk.
Bernie has been planning the mother of all banners for weeks: A homemade firework launcher and a crudely made bomb. Bernie had supplied enough cherry bombs to equal the explosive power of a stick of dynamite.
When it fails to work, Bernie looks down the barrel of the launcher, and the firework explodes in his face, much to the amusement of his friends, who are unaware of his death.
Transcript[]
Narrator: It's the Fourth of July.
Bernie's Friend: Now hurry up and cook me a hot dog. (laughs)
Narrator: All across the country, citizens are celebrating their nation's birthday the best way they know how...
Bernie: Watch this, ol' Bernie got a trick for ya.
(Throws a hot dog up in the air and fails to catch it, causing his friend to laugh)
Narrator: ...By getting hammered.
Bernie: Shut up! Shut up!
Narrator: The beer hammer dropped on Bernie and his buddies long before the sun went down.
(The other redneck throws a lit M80 at Bernie while he's grilling, the explosion causing him to jump)
Bernie: Whoa!
Narrator: With these knuckleheads, stupid is a vocation. Bernie is about to show why.
Bernie: I got a Fourth of July for ya!
Narrator: Bernie has been planning the mother of all firecrackers for weeks.
Redneck: Oh boy (laughs)
Narrator: A homemade fireworks launcher, and a crudely made bomb.
Bernie: Look what ol' Bernie's got for y'all!
Redneck: Whoo!
Bernie: Whoo-hooo-hooo!
Bernie's Friend: Oh (chuckles) Homemade firecrackers!
(Bernie lights the fuse and drops the explosive in the launcher)
Bernie: Woo!
Narrator: Bernie had combined enough cherry bombs to equal the explosive power of a stick of dynamite. He clearly was not aware of the reason why there's a federal law banning homemade bombs since 1966.
(The friend's stare in wonderment as Bernie gets his face closer and closer before looking directly down the barrel of his launcher. The firework then goes off, knocking Bernie down as his friend's laugh uproariously)
Bernie's Friend: Bernie! Hey, Bernie!!
Narrator: Besides being severely burned, Bernie's face shattered from the impact, and his brain rattled inside his cranium, causing fatal hemorrhaging.
Redneck: Hey Bernie.
Bernie's Friend: Hey Bernie!
Narrator: Every 4th of July, fireworks accidents fill emergency rooms around the country. Bernie managed to skip that part.... and went straight to the morgue.
Cast and Interviewees[]
- Shawn Gnandt - Bernie (lead: intended victim)
- Ted Reis - Redneck
- Adam Edgar - Bernie's Friend (uncredited)
- Dr. Khyber Zaffarkhan - Physical Medicine & Rehab
Trivia[]
- There's a Wilhelm scream in this segment.
- It is based on this Darwin award from the year 2000 even though the segment taking place 17 years earlier in the show.
- This death takes place exactly 21 years before Jaw Boned, Ironically both involve the victim dying by explosion.
- Also, this death takes place 116(Or a century, a decade and six years) years after Rebel Without A Pulse, and 24 years before Spit-ill.
- The RV is the same as in Trailer Trashed, it is possible that after the events in Trailer Trashed Chuck's family sold the RV and it ended up in Bernie's hands. Most likely after the events in Red, White and Blew the RV was probably sold to an unknown person or scraped.
- Later on in 2015, a Gaston actor died the same way.
- Moral: Never looks down the barrel of the launcher, It could blast into your face and end up like bernie.
Segment Nickname[]
- Death on the Fourth of July
- United Deaths Of America
- Frantic Firecracker
- AmeriCan't
Foreign Names[]
- Rojo, Blanco y Exploazul (Red, White and Exploblue) - Latin American Spanish dub
- Rojo, Blanco y Pum (Red, White and Boom) - European Spanish dub and Mexican Spanish dub
- Vermelho, Branco e Azulou (Red, White, and Wussed out) - Brazilian Portuguese dub
- In die Röhre geguckt (Looking into the Tube) - German dub
- Fajerwerki (Fireworks) - Polish voice-over
- Sunahak Barriyo (Barrel Sparked) - Lazoran dub
Gallery[]
