Way to Die #77
"Red, White and Blew"
Name of the death is a pun on "red, white and blue"
Red, White and Blew
Date July 4, 1983
Location Happy's Trailer Park
Lawrence, Kansas
Episode this death
was featured in
"Cure for the Common Death I"
"Text Dead"

"Red, White and Blew", Way to Die #77, is the first death to be featured in "Cure for the Common Death I", which aired on March 22, 2009.


It's the 4th of July. All across the country, citizens are celebrating their nation's birthday in the best way they know how: by getting hammered. By the time the sun went down, Bernie and his buddies were completely pissed.

With these knuckleheads stupid as a vocation, Bernie is about to show why. Bernie has been planning the mother of all banners for weeks. A home made firework launcher and a crudely made bomb. Bernie had provided enough cherry bombs to equal the explosive power of a stick of dynamite. He clearly was unaware of the reason why does the federal law banning home made bombs since 1966. When it fails to work, Bernie looks down the barrel of the launcher, and the firework explodes in his face, much to the amusement of his friends, and unaware of his death.

Besides being severely burnt, Bernie's face shattered from the impact as his brain rattles inside his cranium, causing fatal hemmorhaging.

"Every 4th of July, fireworks accidents filled emergency rooms around the country. Bernie managed to skip that part.... and went straight to the morgue."


  • Dr.Khyber Zaffarkhan


  • There was a Wilhelm scream in this segment.

Segment Nickname

  • Death on the Fourth of July
  • United Deaths Of America