"Shit Canned", Way to Die #412, is the seventh death to be featured in "Come On, Get Deathy", which aired on January 20, 2010.
Plot[]
Murph, an insanely angry and envious man, attends the wedding of the woman he loved who is getting married to another man, and tries to get his revenge on her. He bribes a waiter to sneak in a laxative into the bride's drink, but the waiter, having a moment of morality, sneaks it into Murph's drink instead. Murph tried to eat up much of the clock as possible, until the laxative takes effect on Murph during the toast, and he rushes to the bathroom. Murph ran to the bathroom and found a couple kissing, he told them it was an emergency but they didn't listen, Murph went out and taking massive shit his diarrhea in a trash can but when he tried to get out he got stuck and turned over, he started rolling down the hill covering himself in his own excrement. and causing multiple fractures in his bones and skull and bleeding in his brain, then he fell under a bridge where he stopped and left this idiot dead and sending him to hell.
Transcript[]
(Space Funk Death is playing)
Narrator: Weddings are normally a happy affair. Except, when one of the guests is the bitter ex-lover of the blushing bride: Say hello to Murph. He's not just bitter, he's insanely angry and jealous. The only reason he came, is to get his revenge on the woman he once hoped would be his wife. Being the creep that he was, Murph had cooked up a pretty nasty payback scheme.
(Death by Riff Rock 1 is playing, Murph advices the waiter to put laxative on her)
Murph: (Whispers) Hey, buddy. Give you 20 bucks to slip some of these in the bride's drink.
Waiter: 20 bucks? No way.
Murph: A'ight, fine. 100 bucks.
Waiter: Done.
(The waiter pours laxative in the drink)
Dr. Steven Kim: Laxatives decrease the water...within the blood stream, water goes from the blood, to the colon instead.
([] is playing)
Dr. Steven Kim: The high concentration of laxative, 20 to have a very cute and dramatic effect.
Waiter: Mission accomplished.
(Murph grins, sees his lover takes a sip)
Narrator: The plan was working.
Murph: Here's to you, bitch.
Narrator: Murph gulped down his own glass of bubbly, and stepped up to deliver a bowel bursting toast.
(Murph taps spoon on his drink, Baroque Death is playing)
Murph: Ladies and gentlemen! A moment for lovely Annie,
Narrator: He stretched it out. Trying to eat up as much of the clock as possible.
Murph: ...He spend a lot of time together, a lot of time... Now, she's with you. (Continues to speech)
Narrator: By the time he was done, her virginal white gallon would look like a rolled of used toilet paper.
Murph: ...I spend a lot of money on her. (Giggles)
Narrator: But like everything else in this loser's life, it didn't turn out, like he expected.
Murph: As I wanna wish you both a best luck.
Everyone else: Cheers.
(Turns out Murph has the laxative, feels the diarrhea, Ferbie Disco is playing)
Murph: Oh. Oh... Oh, ho-ho! Ho...!!
Narrator: The waiter had a pang of conscience.
(Flashback of the waiter pours laxative in Murph's drink)
Narrator: and gave Murph the spite drink.
([] is playing, Murph rushes to the bathroom, but as he opens, it's occupied by 2 people making out)
Murph: Guys, come on! This is an emergency!
(They close the door, Murph has no choice but take a dump in an outdoor trash can)
Narrator: Desperate, he unloaded the only can he could find.
Murph: Aah... Ah... (Sighs and laughs)
(Turns out Murph is blocked)
Narrator: In a classic case of bad to worse, Murph found himself stuck, in his dumpster.
(Murph manages to get out of the can by shaking, but the can falls)
Murph: AH!!!
(The trash can is now rolling and Murph is still stuck, Police Chase Death is playing)
Murph: Waah! Ah!
Jason Romero: If you have somebody... that stuffed into a garbage can, it's not a natural position on his waist, so... as the rolling, you're gonna have...
(CGI human rolls with the trash can, causes the spine to shatter, the brain to bounce aggressively)
Jason Romero: probably spinal induce for one thing... And they're gonna be hitting the head, repeatedly. So, it's gonna have... effective uh... bouncing brain around inside the skull. And that's create a swelling and internal bleeding in the brain...
Murph: Aaah!! (Screams)
(Murph falls and finally stop rolling, dies from multiple bone fractures and skull fracture; recap, Innocent Death is playing)
Narrator: Murph's plan of revenge backfired. Instead of humiliating his ex-lover, he got disemboweled,
Murph: AH!!!
Narrator: went on a roll, wound up covered in his own filth, and finally, dead.
(What goes up is playing)
Narrator: Bottoms up, Murph.
Trivia[]
- This is the third death to have the number #412, this death shares its number with Em-Bear-Assed, ReTired, Hair Today, Dead Tomorrow, Lesboned, Goon Interrupted, and Gang Banged.
- The CGI is used again in Shanks for the Memories.
- The waiter was also one of the plane passengers in Titty Titty Bang Bang.
- Murph's actor also played Harold from Sumowed and the unnamed umpire from Ten-Ass Anyone?.
Cast And Interviewees[]
- Dr Steven Kim - Biochemist
- Jason Romero - EMT
- Trevor Algatt - Waiter
- Clay Van Sickle - Murph (Uncredited/lead: Intended victim)
- Aimee Chenal - Amy (The woman that Murph loved) (Lead)
Segment Nicknames[]
- Canned Trashed
- Murphed Up
- Trashed Away
- Trashed Offed
- Toilet-F***d
Foreign Names[]
- Excremento Enlatado (Canned Excrement) - Latin American Spanish dub
- Cubierto de Mierda (Covered with S***) - Spanish dub
- Mit Schmutz Bedeckt (Covered with Dirt) - German dub
- Suna ma Basura (Dirt of Trash) - Lazoran dub
- Hasta acá-cayó (Up to here-fell) - Pluto TV Spanish dub