"Shanks for the Memories", Way to Die #116, is the sixth death featured in "Death Watch", which aired on January 27, 2010.
Plot[]
Moira, a pompous, obnoxious has-been golf star, and her husband, Josh, were a married couple, taking shots at playing golf, and at each other. They would fight and insult each other at public courses while taking swings at their putters, alienating other people.
"Oh, and by the way, you know my secretary? I've been screwing her for the past six months!"
"Ha, well you know what? So have I!"
-Josh and Moira's final argument
"Mark Twain described golf as 'a good walk ruined.' For these two, it was one long bad drive."
Josh loses focus on where their golf cart is going, due to him also being drunk, and the cart rolls down the hill, until it landed...in the pit of despair. During the crash, Josh and Moira sustained fatal head and neck injuries, sending this unbearable couple to hell.
Transcript[]
(Introcard with Cut in Two Part B (Reconstructed) playing; [] is playing)
Narrator: 10 years ago (1999), Moira was a rising star on the women's pro golf tour.
Moira: Josh! Come on!
Josh: Crying out loud.
(Other golfers are annoyed by the couple)
Narrator: But her uncontrollable anger,
(Josh drives the golf cart)
Moira: What such an A-hole!
Narrator: and her drinking caused her to wash out.
Moira: Um, I think we're next.
Grey Golfer: Uh...
Moira: Uh, yeah, we checked in first.
([] is playing)
Narrator: Now, she and her husband Josh spent their time getting hammered, and taking a cheap shot...
(Josh swings but hit the grass, causing Moira to mock him)
Moira: (Laughs)
Narrator: at each other.
(Moira swings poorly)
Moira: ****!
(Golfers are more annoyed than ever)
Josh: (Drunk) We're gonna practice and win...
Moira: Shut up and drink!
(De-Coffinated is playing, the toxic couple moves and still argues)
Dr. Alex Yufik: There are... several things that you can look in the relation to see if it's going in the wrong direction, so one that it's raw, another one is still lawing, er, another one I would ju- most significant one is contempt, if you have contempt in the relationship, that means you've really lost communication between the spouses. And that is not a very good sign for the duration of relationship.
([] is resuming, the couple still argues)
Josh: SHUT THE HELL UP!
Grey Golfer: Trying a little golf here.
Josh: Yeah, I'm so sorry!
Narrator: The toxic pair would about as appealing as the triple boney.
Moira: SHUT UP!!
Female Golfer: What a bitch...!
Moira: Yeah, shut up...
Josh: No, listen...
(Josh deconcentrate Moira and miss the last shot)
Moira: How am I supposed to play golf...
Narrator: Moira's once promising golf game hit gone from Ben Hogan...
(Moira pushes Josh and fights)
Narrator: to Hulk Hogan.
Moira: I hate you!!
Grey Golfer: Get him! Get him!
Old Golfer: Kill the bitch!
Moira: IIIIIIIIII hate you!!
Josh: You are the devil!!!
(The couple drives to another course and they still arguing like there's no tomorrow, Baroque Death is playing)
Narrator: Mark Twain described golf as 'a good walk ruined.' For these two, it was one long bad drive.
(They miss the road)
Josh: Oh, and by the way, my secretary? I've been screwing her for the past six months!
Moira: Ha, well you know what?! So have I!
Josh: Oh, I hate you!
Moira: I hate you!
(As they argue non-stop, the cart falls down the hill)
Moira: (Freaks)
(The cart rolls down the hill, [] is playing, other golfers witness this accident, replay, [] is playing)
Dr. DJ Green: They're at the mercy of whatever they hit... are small intestines can be torn off of their blood supply...
(The cart is still rolling)
Dr. DJ Green: Er... ordered the chest and the... rib...
(CGI brain shakes and bleeds)
Dr. DJ Green: Our brain can also suffer from deceleration injuries.
(They finally stop rolling, [] is playing)
Narrator: With alcohol and anger as their handicaps, it's no wonder these two wound up... in the rough.
Cast & Interviewees[]
- Mark C. Hanson - Josh (Lead: Intended victim)
- Katy Davis - Moira (Lead: Intended victim)
- Dr. Alex Yufik - Forensic Psychologist
- Dr. DJ Green - Trauma Surgeon
Segment Nicknames[]
- Golf Coarse
Foreign Names[]
- Matrimonio Cuesta Abajo (Downhill Marriage) - Latin American dub
- Cuesta Abajo (Downhill) - Spanish dub
- Fataler Fehlschlag (Fatal Failure) - German dub
- Nilan Tiwahil kuhi Hilaman Klahinalit (None Other than Flying Couples) - Lazoran dub
Trivia[]
- It reuses the CGI animation used in S**t Canned.
- Like I-Boned, this death has no recap.
- Mannequins are used for the tumbling cart.
- This is first death to use of rude couples dying the other is being Kill Bill and Billie.
Gallery[]
