1000 Ways To Die Wiki

"Signed Out", Way to Die #522, is the first death featured in "It's a Dead, Dead, Dead World", which aired on July 15, 2012.


When Serena announces that she is divorcing Joseph, also known as Joe, he repeatedly injures himself in order to frame her as being abusive. He starts by slapping himself in the face and slamming CD covers at his head. Serena thinks that Joe is a bit weird and asked him, "What are you doing?" Joe hits his face with some books, then he smashes his head with a hanging stone pig head on the fireplace. Serena told him to stop and that he was crazy. Joe then proceeds to hit his head again with a wrench, causing him to spit blood. He then smashes his hand with a piano cover and hurts his leg with a piano chair, and tells that she'll never leave him, 'till death do them part. Concerned neighbors called 911, Paramedics arrive and put him on a gurney as police confront Serena, but it rolls down a hill until it hits a rock. Joe screams in horror as he is launched off the gurney and lands on top of a curved road sign, impaling Joe through the stomach, putting an end to his screams. And with that, death do Joe and Serena part.

Cast & Interviewees

  • Matt Laumann - Paramedic #1 (lead)
  • Casey Pieretti - Joseph (lead:intended victim)
  • Dr. Boyd Flinders - Surgeon

Segment Nickname

  • Long Day's Gurney (Spike website)
  • Impaled Divorce
  • Suicide Signs

Foreign names

  • Señalado (Indicated) - Spanish dub
  • Abgeschrieben (Written off) - German dub


  • This death is similar to Cleane-Dead Solution, only the victim in that death was abusive, charged at his wife, and got stabbed in the heart, not the stomach, and they landed on a sharp part of a dishwasher, not a sign. However, both victims did not want a divorce.
  • Despite this death taking place in Columbus Ohio, the ambulance has a West Virginia license plate on it.


  • Continuity / Revealing: When Joe lands on the road sign, no blood gushes out of his stomach immediately; the next shot shows the blood already on the sign, but not gushing. Also, the shot of Joe landing onto the sign is clearly played backwards.
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