Stupid Is As Death Does[]
"Hey you, TV viewer. Are you gonna watch something touchy-feely, or this twisted tale of stupidity and death? I know, we had you at stupid. As a reward, we offer this: a deadbeat dad who got ejected, a poser artist who exploded onto the scene. How 'bout a really dumb spy, or a drinking game nobody can win? There's a video gamer who can't stop, and a pervert who likes to keep an eye on things. We're raising the bar, and lowering the boom on the next episode of 1000 Ways to Die."
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 46.
Originally aired March 29, 2011.
Title reference: Spoofs the saying "Stupid Is as Stupid Does". (Second episode to do so; first was "Stupid is as Stupid Dies".)
"A deadbeat dad goes through the roof; a stump humper gets eyeballed; a drinking game turns deadly; a dummy goes from spying to dying; video gamer gets poned; a mover stops moving; a poser artist explodes onto the scene".
-- This is the Original Episode --
Chairway to Heaven[]
Way to Die #219
Mitch
On November 20, 2003, in Milwaukee, WI. A deadbeat dad who abandoned his family to "find himself" (an act so heinous even the narrator says he wants to kill the man) gets drunk with his friend while setting up his new house, ignoring his wife and children's pleadings for him to return home. He brings in a pilot seat from a Soviet fighter jet, unaware that it still works. He pulls the lever on the seat and is launched 10 feet into the air, crushing his skull against the roof.
Alt names - Ouch Potato
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
NOTE: This segment title was very misleading.
Eye Swallow[]
Way to Die #623
Chester
On February 14, 2008, in Berkeley, CA. An acrotomophiliac has sex with a woman who lost her arm in a car accident and has a glass eye. The woman puts her eye in a glass with water before continuing. When they are done, she runs to his shower and the man takes a drink from the glass with the eye, and chokes to death when he accidentally swallows her glass eye.
Alt names - Socket to Me
The Depart-dead[]
Way to Die #255
On March 25, 1991, in South Boston, MA. A group of white, teenage wannabe-gangstas from South Boston play a drinking game called Edward Fortyhands, in which drinkers have beer bottles taped to their hands and they cannot do anything (smoke, urinate, leave the room, etc.) until the beer bottles are empty. One of them spits a half-lit cigar under a couch, which starts burning the flammable synthetic stuffing, releasing hydrogen cyanide into the room. Because they cannot open the door, they suffocate on the fumes.
Alt names - Gangsta Trapped
Spyanide[]
Way to Die #621
Max
On April 17, 1943, in Norfolk, VA. A treacherous American spy working for the Nazis has a short meeting in a park. After that meeting, an American tries to return his notebook that he left behind. The spy thinks the American returning his notebook is out to get him and takes his own life by swallowing cyanide pills.
Note: This is the second intentional suicide in the series.
Game Stopped[]
Way to Die #126
Garth
On October 4, 2008 in Mattituck, NY. A video game addict plays for 60 straight hours trying to take down his opponents and become the highest-ranked player in the world. When his last opponent, a woman, defeats him, he furiously stands up, then drops dead, unaware that his leg veins had formed clots from being sedentary for so long and now the clots had moved into his heart and lungs.
Alt names - Game Over
Moving Violation[]
Way to Die #305
Dickie
On July 9, 1994, in Evanston, IL. Two ex-cons hired as moving men are helping a woman move out of her house. One of the movers steals a glass crystal flower. While packing the boxes in the truck, the van accidentally moves forward, and the man who stole the flower gets crushed by a falling box, which pushes the flower into his heart, killing him almost instantly.
Alt names - The Long Haul
Art Attack[]
Way to Die #193
Mr. Amnesia
On June 11, 2006, in New York, NY. A pervert posing as a French artist tries to seduce women but gets rejected by one of his targets. In a rage, he punches a "sculpture" he had unknowingly made from a butterfly bomb, that sends shrapnel into the man's body and kills him.
Alt names - Scrap-Nel
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.