Stupid is as Stupid Dies[]
"Research shows... stupid people have more fun... but die sooner. Here's proof: This guy had a hardcore day and wound up stiff. This one bit off more than he could chew. These two kids locked tongues and lost their heads. There's the football fan who got the cold shoulder, the outdoorsman who got the hook, and the co-ed who learned you can't fool 'mudder' nature. They're young, numb, and full of dumb. It's the next episode of 1000 Ways to Die."
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 27.
Originally aired September 21, 2010.
Title reference: Spoofs the saying "Stupid Is as Stupid Does".
-- This is the Original Episode --
Jaw Boned[]
Way to Die #444 (Note: This is the second death to have this number)
Jimmy Millican
On July 4, 2004, in Orangeville, MI. A once-promising chemist has now become a drug addict who spends his days making crystal meth in the garage of his house and chewing on a 6-day-old piece of gum that he regularly dips in citric acid to keep it moist and fresh. In the man's drug-addled rush, he accidentally dips the gum in red phosphorus instead. The force of his chewing causes it to explode, blowing off his jawbone and making his brain bleed out on the table.
Alt death - Chew Bomber
Hair Today, Dead Tomorrow[]
Way to Die #412 (Note: This is the fourth death to have this number)
Joan Meikin
On May 1, 1968, San Francisco, CA. A female nudist painter lapses into a coma and dies after months of digestive problems caused by her trichophagia. After eating her own hair, she vomits, and it exits her mouth and goes into the toilet. And after she continues eating her own hair, she dies from choking to death, intestinal rupturing, and internal bleeding. At the morgue, the coroners discover a trichobezoar in her intestines, which was clogged with enough hair and undigested food to cause intestinal rupturing and internal bleeding.
Alt names - Rug Munched
"Up next: A cute co-ed turns into a 'mudder' sucker, and... a survivalist who couldn't survive."
Mudder Sucked[]
Way to Die #620
Harriet
On November 21, 2009, in Brentwood, CA. A strict, sadistic pledge master (and military brat) at a sorority bullies her pledges during frosh week. At the end of the week, the pledges are instructed to build a mud wrestling pit for a charity event, but as the pledge master continues to harass them, one of the pledges gets fed up and attacks her. The pledge master proves to be the superior fighter, with the other pledges having to drag their defeated friend out of the pit. But as the pledge master is celebrating her victory, she begins to fall into the sinkhole that was beneath the ring the pledges were building and is sucked into the ground, eventually dying of suffocation from the tons of dirt and mud pressing on her chest.
Alt names - Mudsport
Offed the Hook[]
Way to Die #223
Hal
On July 17, 2003, in Black Rock, OR. A survivalist armed with a shotgun, a chain and meat hook is shown dying in three scenarios (the last of which actually happened to him): 1) Electrocuted after throwing his meat hook onto a power line so he can poach electricity for his TV, 2) Hanged on a tree branch after using his meat hook and chain to string up an elk carcass, and 3) Tripping in a ditch and performing an accidental tracheotomy after swallowing his own meat hook.
Alt names - Meathead, Meet Hook
"Coming up: A stud goes three for three, then strikes out, and... a football fan from hell freezes over."
Erecto-phobia[]
Way to Die #672
Peter
On June 09, 2007, in Washington, D.C.. A man cheating on his girlfriend gets bitten by a Brazilian wandering spider while getting some bananas out of her grocery bag. The spider's venom causes his blood vessels to dilate, resulting in a permanent erection. After having sex with two other women, the venom causes him to have a heart attack.
Alt names - Peter Pork-Her
Note: This segment was otherwise known as "Itsy Bitsy Speter".
Fansicle[]
Way to Die #299
George
On October 19, 2009, in Cool Rapids, MI. A football fanatic paints himself in his team's colors (blue and white) and goes to a game in freezing weather. Sitting drunk and half-naked in the stands, he begins to develop hypothermia; however, no one can tell due to his blue paint and he loses the ability to speak, quickly freezing to death.
Alt names - Imbecile on Ice
"Don't you just want to rip the heads off all these kids with piercings? Sit back and watch."
Tongue Tied[]
Way to Die #517
Mike and Jade
On April 16, 2006, in Long Beach, CA. A group of teens play a game in which two of them kiss while in adjacent moving cars. The couple's tongue piercings get tangled in each other, and they are decapitated by a forklift traveling between the cars.
Alt names - Tongue Game
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.