"Succu Offed", Way to Die #229, is the second death to be featured in "Up With Death", which aired on December 16, 2009.
Plot[]
A pair of exotic plant collectors had just stolen a valuable 6-foot Saguaro cactus from the Arizona desert and added it to their collection. They celebrated their newest acquisition by downing a combination of mescal and Peyote buttons (both of which derived from cacti), resulting in them getting high. Suddenly, they experienced something rare; a shared hallucination, in which the spirit of the Saguaro that they stole spoke out to them for their sins.
The hallucination became too much for the two, and they ran away in fear, only to find out firsthand, how much of a "prick" Lady Karma can be. The first one tripped, landed on his back, and was impaled on an Agave plant, dying from cardiac tamponade. The other one ran into ironically, another smaller Saguaro and the needles closest to his face pierced his eye and punctured his brain, killing him instantly, sending the cactus thieves to hell.
Transcript[]
Narrator: Some people collect coins, others stamps. These two have filled their lives with...cactus. Today, they're celebrating. They just added a valuable 6-foot Saguaro from the Arizona desert to their collection. To honor their addition, they indulged in a mind-altering brew of mescal - a distilled spirit, and Peyote buttons - a powerful hallucinogen. Both come from the cactus family. With their minds scrambled, they were like two babes in the woods...very spiny woods. In Arizona, Saguaro are a protected species. In their tripped out minds, they experienced a rare phenomenon: a shared hallucination. The spirit of the Saguaro was talking to them.
The Spirit of The Saguaro: You have done wrong! You will pay for your sins!
Narrator: This was too much for the freaks. They went from tripping out, to flipping out.
The Spirit of The Saguaro: You Disturbed the Cactus Universe! You Will Die!
Narrator: The guilt ridden spinal tappers lit out, running as fast as they could from the voice in their heads. (Die!) Blinded by fear, each turned a corner, and came face to face with Cactus Karma. (DIE!) The first wound up run through by an Agave plant
Dr. Khyber Zaffarkhan: These needles can pierce into the heart itself. The heart stops, circulation stops, and the man dies from what we call Cardiac Tamponade
Narrator: The other suffered an equally gruesome fate: pierced 100 times over by the needles of a small Saguaro.
Dr. Khyber Zaffarkhan: The needles actually pierced his eyeballs. If the needles were longer, they would've actually gone through and hit his brain.
Narrator: Is there a "point" to this story? Don't disturb...the Cactus Universe.
Cast[]
- Sean Tweedale and Joe Filippone - Collectors (lead: intended victims)
- Dr. Khyber Zaffarkhan - Physical Medicine & Rehab
- Unknown Actor - The Spirit of The Saguaro. (probably ron Perlman voiced the cactus.)
Trivia[]
- One of the trippers (Portrayed by Joe Filippone) was seen on the pathway dead, even though he died on the Agave plant, not the pathway. Of course, he could have just moved it there for the time being.
- In Arizona, the Saguaro cactus is a protected species of plant.
- The Peyote cactus, from which Peyote buttons are made, is a small, spineless (spineless as in having no needles) cactus native to Texas and Mexico, found mainly in the Chihuahuan Desert and in Coahuila, Nuevo Leon, Tamaulipas, and San Luis Potosi.
- Mescal is a distilled beverage made from the maguey plant, a species of the Agave plant found in Mexico. Unlike Tequila, which is made by baking Blue Agave plants in an oven, the Maguey is baked in an underground pit, resulting in a smokier taste.
- This could be similar to a facts cactus related death in 1982.
- This death takes place 3 years before Ghost Busted, 2 years before Handi-crapped (212), 7 years after Just Plane Dead and 30 years after Cruci-fried.
- This is one of the deaths where the victims don't have a name.
- The clown laugh from Glow Job could be briefly heard while the two plant collectors ran.
Lessons Learned[]
- Idiot Alert Warning: If you try this at home, you will die!!!
Foreign Names[]
- Cactus Mortales (Deadly Cactuses) - Latin American Spanish dub
- Flipando con los cactus (Drugged with the cactus) - European Spanish dub
- Ein Spitzenende (A Pointy Ending) - German dub
- Viagem Alucinante (Hallucinatory Journey) - Brazilian Portuguese dub
- Cactus ka Haliklunin kayit ko Dakupayaduliwan (Gotten the Suffering the Cactus) - Lazoran dub
- Ukaktusienie (Cactification) - Polish voice-over
Segment Nicknames[]
- Cursed Cacti
- Revenge of the Cactus
- Sagu-NO
- Prickly Ends
- Arizo-can't
- The Attack of the Cactus Universe
- Cac-Die
Gallery[]
