1000 Ways To Die Wiki

"Ten-Ass Anyone?", Way to Die #425, is the first death featured in "Crying Over Spilled Blood", which aired on July 15, 2012.


Mike and Matt are two tennis wannabes who idolize 70's tennis players John McEnroe and Bjorn Borg (Copying their hairstyles, attire, and wooden rackets). The pair even hired their own chair umpire to look over their tennis matches. Even 2 girls, who like Mike even more than Matt. Much like John McEnroe, Matt had a fiery temper and would frequently insult the chair umpire for his calls. After losing the match to Mike, Matt breaks his wooden racket and takes the handle prepared to stab and kill the chair umpire. However, the chair umpire leaves the chair which causes it to topple over as Matt climbs it, who can only yell out that he's going to kill the umpire. The fall causes the racket's handle to impale Matt in the rectum, causing massive internal bleeding and the leakage of stool into the pelvis, sending the angry tennis wannabe and attempted chair umpire murderer to Hell where he belongs. As they are watching this, the girls scream in terror.

"Matt channeled Johnny Mac's fiery personality, while Mike played the cool Borg. And when it came to throwing a tantrum, Matt could make even the real McEnroe blush. But then the match when from being just a game, to a matter of life...and death."


  • Elliot Law - Professional Tennis Player (Only in German version)
  • Dr. Jeffrey Baker - Colorectal Surgeon
  • Enriko Tethadre - Mike (lead)
  • Braddie Lozdgo - Matt (lead: intended victim)

Segment Nicknames

  • US Wide Open (Spike TV)
  • Treacherous Tennis

Foreign names

  • Raquetazo Final (Final Stroke) - Latin American dub
  • Cabreo Mortal (Mortal Anger) - Spanish dub
  • Spiel, Satz und Tod (Game, Set and Death) - German dub