"Texas Fold 'Em", Way to Die #311, is the fifth death featured in "Waking Up Dead", which aired on February 3, 2010.
Plot[]
Toby was a junkyard owner who liked to bet heavily on poker with a group of mob-connected heavies, he had been winning for 4 hours, hand after hand, no matter what they had, Toby always had the highest hand, What others didn't know was that Toby cheated, he used the old magic trick of pulling a card out of the sleeve to have the card that he needed and make the odds always be in his favor (pay attention to this guys, there are people who when betting money start to cheat, believe me when I tell you to never cheat, it's stupid, you will finally get caught, it's also dangerous, you will end up cheating with the wrong person, when you win thousands of dollars from that person will be very angry with you).
Toby pulled an A out of his sleeve but then a heavy saw that and the heavies realized that Toby was cheating, Toby realized that they had discovered him so he tried to escape, he flipped the table, blocked the way with a wooden board and walked out the door while the heavies furiously tried to catch him.
Toby fled to his junkyard, the heavies were delayed as a van blocked their path and Toby hid in a destroyed Ford Windstar mini van, the heavies arrived at where the van was and proceeded to search and catch Toby, Toby managed to elude to the heavies, but they were the least of his problems, the biggest of his problems was the crane that proceeded to grab the van, the giant claw pressed the door against his leg, embedding him in the seat of the van, Toby panicked and tried to scream for help but no one could hear his faint screams because of the noise of the heavy machinery, if Toby had known where the destroyed van would end up... he would have screamed even louder, he went from being in the frying pan to the fryer... making the juice go to the juicer, he ended up directly in the car crusher, the crusher activated and started crushing the car with Toby inside while he screamed.
He was probably conscious and felt pain while the car was crushed, the first thing that could have been fractured could have been his ribs since were brittle and fragile and did not compress, then his internal organs began to be pressed, what could have killed him was asphyxiation since his lungs could not expand, he must have died from asphyxiation, sending this cheater to Hell where he couldn't cheat while his blood spurted out of the crushed car.
Narrator: You can cheat at cards, take everyone's money, but when death puts the squeeze on you, you're out of luck!
Transcript[]
Toby: Sorry guys, got to run!
Heavy: Get this guy, Matt!
Narrator: You can cheat at cards, take everyone's money, but when death puts the squeeze on you, you're out of luck!
Cast & Interviewees[]
- Charles Iacuzzo - Toby (lead: intended victim, also portrayed Chad's Friend in No Fun-gus)
- Joe "Joseph" Skilton - Magician
- Dr. Leslie Kobayashi - Trauma Surgeon
Trivia[]
- Joe Skilton was previously interviewed for Abracadaver and Dumbrella.
- Dr. Leslie Kobayashi was previously interviewed for Mercury in Uranus.
- The van crushed is a Ford Windstar.
- Toby's death is similar to that of Nutty's death in Happy Tree Friends TV series episode, "Chew Said a Mouthful".
- There is a similar death of someone getting crushed by a machine. See Way To Die #312
Segment Nicknames[]
- Car Crushed
- Texas Flat 'Em
- Death Poker
- Unlucky Loser
- All-In and Out
Foreign Names[]
- Chatarra humana (Human Scrap) - Latin American Spanish dub
- Tostada de metal (Metal Toast) - Euroean Spanish dub
- Verzockt und verschrottet (Gambled and Scrapped) - German dub