1000 Ways To Die Wiki
Way to Die #311
"Texas Fold 'Em"
Name of the death is a pun on Texas Hold 'Em (a popular poker variant)
Texas Fold 'Em.png
You can cheat at cards, take everyone's money, but when death puts the squeeze on you, you're out of luck!
Date March 7, 1999
Location Silver City, New Mexico
Episode this death
was featured in
"Waking Up Dead"
"Cult Evaded"

"Texas Fold 'Em", Way to Die #311, is the fifth death featured in "Waking Up Dead", which aired on February 3, 2010.


Toby was a junkyard owner who got his rocks off playing high-stakes poker with a group of heavies. Always having the upper hand in every game, he makes sure that the odds are always in his favor. Eventually, on this day, one of the heavies caught Toby pulling an ace of diamonds out of his sleeve; proof that he had been cheating every time they played.

"Sorry guys, got to run!"

Toby flips the table and makes a run for it, hightailing it to his junkyard, and ducks into a wrecked minivan.

"Get this guy, Matt!"

He slipped the heavies, but that was the least of his worries. The giant claw jammed the door against his leg, pinning him to the seat of the van.

Nobody could hear his feeble cries for help over the roar of the noisy machinery. If Toby knew where the wrecked van was about to wind up, he'd be screaming even louder. He went from the frying pan into the fryer...make that the juice into the juicer. The van is placed into a car crusher. He later gets fatally crushed with blood gushing out of the rear fender of the van.


  • Joe "Joseph" Skilton - Magician
  • Dr. Leslie Kobayashi - Trauma Surgeon


  • Joe "Joseph" Skilton was previously interviewed for Abracadaver and Dumbrella.
  • Dr. Leslie Kobayashi was previously interviewed for Mercury in Uranus.
  • The van crushed is a Ford Windstar.

Segment Nicknames

  • Car Crushed

Foreign names

  • Chatarra humana (Human junk) - Latin American dub
  • Tostada de metal (Metal toast) - Spanish dub
  • Verzockt und verschrottet (Gambled and scrapped) - German dub