"Thanks A Clot", Way to Die #753, is the fourth death featured in "Grave Errors", which aired on March 2, 2011.
Plot[]
Honesto is a Filipino scam artist posing as a psychic surgeon, claiming to heal people by pulling out disease-ridden organs from their bodies by hand. In reality, like most of such surgeons, it is all a show. He simply uses sleight of hand to appear as if he is actually reaching inside the people, then "extracting" bloody animal parts from a unseen-to-the-patient bowl beside the table. A patient later comes in suffering from leprosy. Honesto, in actuality having very little medical knowledge, accidentally comes into contact with the patient's mucus (one of the ways to contract the virus, besides the skin lesions) while waving his hands over his body. Within a month, Honesto begins to develop a fever, with the telltale rotting skin lesions beginning to appear on his arms. His assistant, upon seeing the lesion, immediately leaves and never returns, knowing the man is suffering from leprosy. A few months later, Honesto is dying, clutching onto his now meaningless cash while crawling out of his hut. As he struggles to crawl, a blood clot (formed as a result of his blood thickening from the leprosy) swims into his lungs and stops his heart, killing him with his money flying out of his cold, dead hands.
"Honesto started circling the death drain soon after treating a local lepor. If he had actually gone to medical school, he would've proceeded with extreme caution. he would've known that the only way to contract leprosy was through contact with open sores and infected nasal mucus."
Transcript[]
([] is playing)
Narrator: On this remote island in the Philippines, if you were sick, you went to see... Honesto. He used to be a pickpocket until he met someone in jail who told a much more lucrative scam.
(The surgery in hand, [] is playing, Honesto pulls out the diseased organ)
Narrator: Honesto was what is known as a psychic surgeon. He would welcome simple peasants into his hut. And pulled diseased organs directly out their bodies. Without making any kind of incision.
([] is playing, Honesto puts some animal part in the diseased woman)
Narrator: What he was really pulling out were hidden bloody animal parts.
(Later, the client is cured)
Narrator: But the superstitious locals were gullible and paid in cash.
Assistant: Salamat po. (Thank you.)
([] is playing)
D.J. Grothe: A psychic surgeon... uses slide of hand to appear to reach inside a sick person's body. To remove... uh pathogenic...tissue or organs. Uh, and then, he says "Tada, the patient's healed."
([] is playing, Honesto meets the patient with skin disease)
Narrator: Honesto started circling the death drain soon after treating a local leper.
(The patient gives Honesto some cash)
Narrator: If he had actually gone to medical school, he would've proceeded with extreme caution; he would've known that the only way to contract leprosy was through contact with open sores and infected nasal mucus.
(Honesto accidentally touched the patient's nose with his hand while doing his "psychic", little of Experiments in Lobotomy is playing)
Dr. Pavel Bindra: Historically, it was believed that leprosy was contracted with sexual contact. We now know that is not the case; it's actually quite hard to get. Typically, it is caught through nasal droplets or open sores in the skin. Once the leprosy bacteria enters the blood stream, it starts multiplying very fast.
(After Honesto cured patient with leprosy... Intrigue Stories is playing)
Narrator: A month after the bacteria worked its way into its system, Honesto developed the tattletale rotting skin nauseas of leprosy.
([] is resuming)
Honesto: Ani korum? ()
Assistant: Alisnakum. ()
Narrator: His assistant took one look... and never looked back.
(The assistant, after seeing the sore, immediately hightails it out of the hut and leaves Honesto forever... [] is playing, as Honesto's situation worsens)
Dr. Pavel Bindra: You don't die from leprosy itself. You die from the side effects that leprosy causes. In this individual...
(CGI of a human with leprosy, showing his blood vessel constricting and forming a blood clot)
Narrator: the blood had become so thick, this individual was prone to start forming blood clots.
(Death Throughout History is playing)
Narrator: A few months later, the phony physician was done for.
(Countdown to Madness is playing, Honesto gets out his hospital, outside is windy)
Narrator: Clutching his now meaningless cash,
(CGI human weakens, collapses, his lung filled with blood clots)
Narrator: a blood clot swam to his veins, landed in his lung, and stopped his black heart.
(Honesto is dead)
Narrator: What's up, Doc?
(The deathcard is shown; as a nod to the last joke, it opens with a Looney Tunes sound effect)
Interviewees[]
- D.J. Grothe - Illusion Debunker
- Dr. Pavel Bindra - Cardiac Electrophysiologist
Trivia[]
- This is the only death to feature a Filipino's death.
- Also the only death to happen in the Philippines.
- This death is also known as "Dr. Doctor" on the Spike TV website.
- This death has the shortest doggerel quote ever said in terms of characters, not counting the deaths which had no doggerel quote, which are usually found in the first season.
- The doggerel is a reference to Bugs Bunny's memorable catchphrase and a Looney Tunes sound effect is heard just before the death card shows up.
Foreign names[]
- Dinero Infectado (Infected Money) - Latin American Spanish dub
- Gequacksalbert - German dub