The Good, The Bad, and the Dead[]
"Did you know death is like a really bad cold? There's no known cure. That's bad news for the girl with the long, long legs, or the guy who tried to recycle... himself, and the escaped prisoner who wound up beached and leeched. Then there's the guy with a snake up his butt, and a fish story that'll leave you gagging. Take two aspirin and call me in the morning. It's the next episode of 1000 Ways to Die." (US Version)
"Did you know death is like a really bad cold? There's no known cure. That's bad news for the girl with the long, long legs, or the guy who tried to recycle himself, and the escaped prisoner who wound up beached and leeched. Then there's the guy with a snake up his arse, and a fish story that'll leave you gimping. Take two aspirin and call me in the morning. It's the next episode of 1000 Ways to Die." (UK Version)
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 8.
Originally aired March 8, 2009.
Title reference: A spoof of the 1966 movie title The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.
"A paranoid survivalist has a run in with a snake. Guess who loses? Shoplifter jumps in a dumpster and winds up getting trashed. A cute girl catches a big one – down her throat. It’s a fish tale that’s hard to swallow!"
-- This is the Original Episode --
Face Offed[]
Way to Die #770
Tracy
On December 21, 2007, at The Excalibur, in Las Vegas, NV. A Las Vegas showgirl shaves her legs with a rusty razor blade. When she accidentally cuts herself, she contracts a Group A streptococcal infection, which develops into necrotizing fasciitis ("flesh-eating" bacteria). The bacteria in her blood stream broke through a wart in her face and started eating away at her face, eventually killing her from sepsis.
Alt names - Two-Faced
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Re-Coiled[]
Way to Die #47
Jake
On May 28, 1994, at Jake's Domain, in Tres Piedras, NM. A survivalist living alone in the wilderness is shot in his chest when a snake coils itself around his gun when he was going to the bathroom. The snake is then startled, and pulls the trigger on his rifle as he picks it up."
"Next up: Escaped female prisoner learns the hard way: Leeches suck. Then... A mentally challenged thief takes himself out with the trash."
Sucked Offed[]
Way to Die #301
Carmen
On February 3, 2000, at Buffalo Lake, in Amarillo, TX. An escaped female convict hides from police for forty-five minutes in a 55 °F(13 °C) lake full of leeches. When she comes out of the water, she is too weak to move from hypothermia and blood loss and dies of exposure.
Alt names - Son of a Leech
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Happy Deathiversary".
Re-Formed[]
Way to Die #312
Griff
On March 24, 1989, at Acme Shipping, in Pico, CA. A thief hides in a dumpster, and the dumpster is emptied into a garbage truck. More garbage is emptied on top of him, trapping him and the load of garbage is compacted, crushing him.
Alt names - Trashed Away
"Coming up: A fish tale that's hard to swallow. And... An ex-con sticks it where the sun don't shine and doesn't live to regret it."
Fin-Ished[]
Way to Die #963
Kathy
On July 17, 2004, at Lake Havasu, in Lake Havasu City, AZ. A woman catches a fish for the first time and, as she pulls it from the water, it flies through the air and lodges in her throat. The design of the fish's scales prevents her from pulling it out and she chokes to death.
Butt Plugged[]
Way to Die #553
Levinson
On November 9, 2002, at Imperial Highway, in El Segundo, CA. A newly released con driving drunk with a hooker in the front seat shoves a can of pepper spray into his rectum to avoid detection by a police officer who pulls him over. When the officer shoves the con against his truck for talking back to the officer, the can is activated, soaking the con's inner colon with the spray and eating the flesh away, killing him from a fatal irritation.
Alt names - Plugged Up
Found D-eat[]
Way to Die #256
On May 11, 1984, at C.U.L. Compound, Caballo, NM. A girl participates in a spiritual retreat with other girls for the first time. She is instructed by the leader to go into a river which is infested with alligators. Unsurprisingly, she is eaten by one.
(This death is absent from the US version)
"Up next: We all know that war sucks, but what happened to one unlucky Navy man that really sucked?"
Escape Death Segment 8[]
See the chart about Escaped Deaths.