The Lighter Side of Death[]
"You want to know the meaning of life? Whatever. How about something really important? What's on TV tonight? Two dopers who find the ultimate buzzkill, a couple who like it raw when it comes to snails, then there's the one about the farmer's daughter, and the guy who went out of his way to meet women. We've got a magician who runs out of magic and a civil war story that'll have you whistling 'Dixie'. Wanna know what's on TV tonight? 1000 Ways to Die." (US Version)
"You want to know the meaning of life? Whatever. How about something really important, like what's on TV tonight? Two dopers who find the ultimate buzzkill, a couple who like it raw when it comes to snails, then there's the one about the farmer's daughter, and the guy who went out of his way to meet women. We've got a magician who runs out of magic and a civil war story that will have you whistling 'Dixie'. Wanna know what's on TV tonight? 1000 Ways to Die." (UK Version)
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 7.
Originally aired March 1, 2009.
Title reference: A spoof of The Lighter Side of Sports.
-- This is the Original Episode --
Dung For[]
Way to Die #314
Chester
On October 25, 1986, at Lucky Days Ranch, in Aberdeen, TX. A farmhand on the run from his boss for hitting on the farmer's daughter hides in a manure truck. A load of manure is dumped on the farmhand, suffocating and crushing him.
Alt names - S*** Happens
Brain Worms[]
Way to Die #622
Hans and Monica
On December 21, 1978, at General Hospital, in San Francisco, CA. A couple eat live snails and ingest Angiostrongylus cantonensis, parasites that travel through their bloodstreams to their brains, where they feed on their brain matter until the couple dies (with the man telling his girlfriend that he's a closet homosexual just before the two die).
Alt names - Es-Scar-Gooed
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
"When we return, the trick to this trick is you only get to do it once. And... There's a reason they call dope 'dope', you dope."
Abracadaver[]
Way to Die #401
Dolph
On November 12, 1995, at Shyrock Theater, in Flint, MI. A second-rate magician attempts to perform the famed "bullet catch trick". He taps the pistol (loaded with blanks) with his wand, not noticing that a piece of it has broken off and fallen into the barrel. When his ex-girlfriend assistant fires the blank in his direction for the illusion, the piece is propelled into his neck, severing his jugular vein, and he bleeds to death.
Alt names - Magic Bullet
Weed Whacked[]
Way to Die #429
On February 8, 2002, at Diablo Desert, in Fort Wayne, IN. Two stoners run out of marijuana, so they look for other things to light up. They unwittingly decide on North America's most toxic plant: poison sumac and are killed from flash pulmonary edema caused by its irritating urushiol fumes.
Alt names - Whacked
"Coming up: One day, the south will rise again, just not on this show. And... Is that a sausage in your pants, or are you just happy to be watching 1000 Ways to Die?"
Rebel Without A Pulse[]
Way to Die #221
Private Willie Holmes
On July 4, 1867, at Stonetop Canyon, in Anniston, GA. Soon after the American Civil War, a Confederate deserter is ordered to be executed via firing squad. All of the shooters miss, but the deserter dies anyway. He was imagining the shots entering his chest, and it scares him to death.
Alt names - Pulse Out
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Kill Basa[]
Way to Die #510
Disco Donny Donnoche
On August 16, 1996, at The Brig Disco, in New Orleans, LA. A man who wants to impress women with a "large package" uses surgical tubing to tie a 12-inch kielbasa sausage to his upper thigh. However, he makes it so tight that it cuts off his circulation. The blood in his clogged artery forms into a clot over the next several hours, eventually killing him at a night club.
Alt names - Sausage Party
Wanted Instead[]
Way to Die #364
On January 29, 2009, at Dougherty's Bar, in White Plains, NY. A drunk guest tries to get in a fight with a girl's boyfriend, smashing a beer bottle to intimidate him but the man accidentally cut his hand instead causing a small piece of glass to get into his blood flow, where caused internal bleeding and heart failure.
Alt names - Crappy Hour
(This death is absent from the US version)
"Boats belong in the water. Bad things happen when they break that rule. Very bad. See what happens next on 1000 Ways to Die."
Escape Death Segment 7[]
See the chart about Escaped Deaths.
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.