The One About Dumb People Dying[]
"A new scientific survey just came in. There are more idiots per square inch on this program than any other show on television. Want proof? How about the girly man who wet his bed, or the gymnast who had to split? There's the cremator who got creamed, the stewardess who got... ejected, the taxidermist who got kinda squirrelly, and the country bumpkin who stole the wrong pumpkin. The bottom line: Idiots make good TV on the next episode of 1000 Ways to Die."
A crossdresser "wets" the bed / a gymnast makes a killer move / a greedy crematorium worker explodes / a stewardess is way in over her head / a taxidermist gets squirrely / a pumpkin thief takes robbing to the heart / a man who drinks liquid cocaine gets a kick he never saw coming
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 39.
Originally aired February 8, 2011.
Title reference: Spoofs the episode titles of the TV series Friends.
-- This is the Original Episode --
Wet Dream[]
Way to Die #331
Don
On January 1, 1986, in Manhattan, NY. A man, who spent New Year's Eve at a party, snorting cocaine, donning women's clothes, and seducing two women into having sex with him, wakes up the next day, half-naked, smeared in make-up, and strapped to his water bed. As he screams, he kicks his stiletto-heeled feet, puncturing his water bed, which then leaks. The man keeps struggling until all the water from the leaking mattress engulfs him and he drowns.
Alt names - Bed Wetting
Note: This is the second death to be given this name.
Mary Lou Rectum[]
Way to Die #755
Andrea
On February 12, 2010, in Colorado Springs, CO. A very bitter gymnast named Andrea who lost her chances at being an Olympic star and her beleaguered partner named Sally practice in the gym for a show. After belittling her colleague on her trampoline skills, she attempts to dismount off the trampoline herself. Unfortunately for Andrea, she accidentally lands on top of one of the supports for the parallel bars (which was left out by a worker trying to fix the bars) between her rectum and vaginal opening and fatally impales/stabs herself to death, leaving her friend Sally horrified.
Alt names - Lady and the Trampoline
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Kung Pao Pow!!![]
Way to Die #365
Chung
On May 10, 2003, in Tianjin, China. A corrupt Chinese crematorium worker named Chung Li steals the gold teeth from the body of a man named Mr. Wang who supposedly died from getting struck by lightning. In reality, the man named Mr. Wang was killed when a weather rocket launched in order to bring rain to drought-damaged land failed to detonate, fell back to Earth, and struck him in the chest. Once the cremation furnace is started, the rocket's explosive charge ignites and blows the hatch off with enough force to decapitate and kill the corrupt crematorium worker.
Alt names - Exploding Wang
Hot Shot Part D'uh[]
Way to Die #513
Charlie
On April 2, 2006, in Phoenix, AZ. A couple return to their hotel room after stealing luggage from an airport. The man finds what appears to be a bottle of expensive rum in one of the cases (which belonged to a drug smuggler) and takes a drink, unaware it is actually liquid cocaine (a mixture of cocaine and kerosene). After drinking the concoction, the man suffers spikes in adrenaline and blood pressure and dies from cardiac arrest.
Alt names - Ultimate Energy Drink
Steward-Death[]
Way to Die #701
Valerie
On April 9, 1998, in plane over the Pacific Ocean. An extremely irritable and apathetic flight attendant/stewardess named Valerie annoys the others with her rude and mean behavior. Suddenly, the top of the plane (which was weakened from years of metal fatigue) cracks and the mean flight attendant/stewardess is sucked out from explosive decompression. As she falls to her death, the mean stewardess/flight attendant is exposed to high-speed winds that shreds her skin, suffocates her to death from the atmospheres due to lack of oxygen, and eventually freezes to death from the extreme cold of being 30,000 feet in the air, and she dies before landing into the ocean.
Alt names - Unfriendly Skies
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Death By Request -- Award Winner".
Squirreled Away[]
Way to Die #274
Norman
On May 3, 2003, in Cooper's Creek, GA. A taxidermist, who regularly eats the meat of the animals he kills, dines on squirrel meat (served rare) not realizing that the animal was infected with rabies. He contracts the virus, which invades his brain and causes him to die a slow, painful death of organ failure over the course of several days.
Alt names - When Animals A-Taxidermy
Fatally Gourd[]
Way to Die #870
Luther
On October 12, 2007, in Moorpark, CA. A man and his buddies go pumpkin chunking using a homemade pumpkin cannon at his farm. Meanwhile, another man is attempting to steal pumpkins from the farm across the field where the pumpkins are supposed to land. One of the pumpkins from the cannon makes contact with the thief, and the stem of the pumpkin impales his heart, killing him instantly.
Alt names - Scumpkin Scumbat
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.