"Treadkill", Way to Die #328, is the fourth death featured in "Wait, Don't Tell Me – You're Dead", which aired August 15, 2011 but first appeared on Spike's website July 26.
Plot[]
A perverted outcast named Chuck spies on his hot neighbor named Stacey, with her boyfriend named Jake, next door while exercising on his treadmill. Chuck is so busy ogling his neighbor that he started forgetting that he is still on the treadmill as he keeps on increasing the speed of the treadmill and falls, with his hoodie string catching on the cup holder. It tightens around his neck, cutting off blood and air from his brain so that he gets strangled to death, sending this loser to hell.
Transcript[]
(Lubrifunkification is playing)
Narrator: A hot summer day calls for a hot car wash. And Stacey knew how to work on hose. While Stacey and her boyfriend, Jake, were getting things nice and wet,
(The Science of Comedy is playing)
Narrator: their neighbor Chuck was perving out while working out, trying to carve some fat off his pudgy frame.
Chuck: (Blows) You know you want it.
Narrator: Chuck was a social zero. Women would run not walk at the sight of him.
Chuck: Work it for daddy. Hoo hoo hoo hooo.
Narrator: He was forced to get his kicks by spying.
Chuck: (Nose laughs) What a piece of mmmm!
(Chuck stumbles on the treadmill, falls onto the exercise ball, Repeat After Me is playing, Chuck slaps the ball away, exercises on the treadmill, while running, he stumbles)
Chris Mitchell: 75% of people work out at the gym while 25% of people work out at home. One reason, why a person would decide to train a home...rather than go to a personal training studio or a gym is simply because they are embarrassed of their current physique, they don't want to be seen in public training.
([] is playing)
Chuck: You can crack a nut with those thighs...!! Hoo...!
Narrator: Today, Chuck was so deep into his fantasy sex life...
Chuck: Squirt the hose! Squirt the hose! Hoo hoo hoo hoo...!!
(Chuck accidentally mashes the speed increasing button)
Narrator: He didn't notice the speed increasing on his treadmill.
Chuck: Buns of steel!
Narrator: Chuck was about to reach the finish line when...
(When howling, he stumbles again)
-Chuck: (Howls) Yeah!
-Narrator: His hoodie string got caught in the cup holder.
([] is playing)
Narrator: If it had snapped, he'd still be alive. But it stretched out tight around his throat.
(Medical Malpractice Death is playing, CGI hoodie string tightens and strangles the human's neck)
Dr. Boyd Flinders: With the string of his sweatsuit wrapped around his neck, acting like a garrote. The weight of his body pulling it tight, cut off his air supply through his trachea and cut even deeper into his carotid arteries. Causing loss of air and blood, causing death.
(Recap, Epic Rock Piece is playing)
Narrator: Chuck was a loser who took to spying to get off.
Chuck: Look at that butt...!
Narrator: But then, he couldn't get off his treadmill
Chuck: (Howls) Yeah!
(Chuck stumbles)
Narrator: and got life's ultimate climax...death.
Interviewees[]
- Chris Mitchell - Fitness Trainer
- Dr. Boyd Flinders - Surgeon
Alternative Description[]
- "A lecherous husband is ogling his young neighbor when he's killed by his own treadmill." (Spike TV website)
Trivia[]
- This is based on the death of Mike Tyson's four-year-old daughter, Exodus, on May 26, 2009.
- This description for this death mentions that Chuck is married, although the narrator does not mention his wife.
- Also called "Hus-Banned" on the Spike TV (now Paramount Network) website.
Goofs[]
- Anachronism: A 2006 Dodge Charger is shown despite the segment taking place in 2003.
Foreign Names[]
- Maratona da Morte (Death Marathon) - Brazilian Portuguese dub
- La Cinta Asesina (The Killing Treadmill) - Latin American Spanish dub
- Asfixia Autoerótica (Autoerotic Suffocation) - European Spanish dub
Segment Nickname[]
- Hus-Banned (Spike TV)
- Treadmill Accident
- Tread of Life
- Treadkill Workout
Gallery[]
Behind The Scene[]
