Tweets From the Dead

Tweets From the Dead

"The theory of evolution is based on one simple concept: survival of the fittest. The following knuckleheads just didn't fit. There's a weirdo who bugged out, an ex-boyfriend who 'bared' his soul, a black-marketeer loaded with hot goods, a hijacker who had an inflated view of himself, a thief who got beat by meat, and finally, a couple of ghost hunters who went looking for love in all the wrong, dark places. It's devolution at it's finest on the next episode of 1000 Ways to Die."

"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 69.

Originally aired March 26, 2012.

Title reference: Twitter messages.

Note: Joe Irwin begins narrating this original episode. Also, this is the seventh and final episode not to feature the death of a female.

An exterminator gets exterminated / A stockbroker got magnetic in the stomach / A wedding crasher crashes through the glass / A thief gets a meathook / A black marketeer got blown up / A hijacker exploded by a semi-truck / A ghost buster gets busted

-- This is the Original Episode --

Pretty Fly for a Dead Guy

Way to Die #680

Egon

On March 5, 2010, in Old Lyme, CT. A nerdy man with an extreme hatred for bugs covers a wall of his home with homemade flypaper coated with cyanoacrylate. When swatting a mosquito, he falls onto the wall and gets stuck. After a few days, the man soils himself from loss of bladder and bowel control, dies from dehydration and starvation in another couple of days, and is turned into a buffet for all the bugs he collected for torture.

Alt names - Lord of the Flies

Bucky Boned

Way to Die #397

Lenny

On June 26, 2008, in New York, NY. A crooked stockbroker about to be searched by federal agents for running a Ponzi scheme nervously shreds all his papers, then falls dead from an extremely painful stomachache that leads to his death. Prior to his frantic shredding, the stockbroker squeezed his Bucky Ball office stress toy and slammed it on his desk during a phone call. The neodymium magnets from the office toy landed in his cup of boba tea] and the man drank the tea with the magnets inside of it. The "extremely painful stomachache" was actually the magnets tearing through his small intestine and attracting each other, causing fatal internal bleeding.

Alt names - Ponzi-Reamed

Wedding Crasher

Way to Die #595

Perry

On May 12, 2002, in Ramsey, NJ. A jilted, bitter man humiliates his ex-girlfriend (who is marrying an older, richer man) at her wedding by objecting to the marriage and stripping naked. As he's being chased by the congregation, the man runs into a glass window (mistaking it for an open door) and dies from glass shards cutting through his exposed flesh.

Alt names - Wacky Wedding

Meat Your Maker

Way to Die #372

Marco

On June 16, 2010, in Fort Wayne, IN. Two unrelated thieves attempt to loot a meat truck. The first gets in the back to loot the meat, but is locked in by the driver. The second hijacks the truck, unaware that another thief is in the back. When the hijacker is tipped off to the cops, he makes a getaway on the truck, swerving constantly. While swerving, the thief in the back is rattled around until he gets impaled in the throat by a meat hook.

Alt names - Hooked On A Feeling

Well Chung

Way to Die #252

Wang-Chung

On February 3, 2011, in Los Angeles, CA. A black market owner in Chinatown is selling poached animal parts, pirated DVDs and illegal fireworks. He finds out that he is about to be busted by the FBI and hides in his trailer. An hour later, he lights a cigarette, but drops it on the wick of one of the fireworks, setting them all off and causing the fireworks to explode, killing him.

Alt names - Wang Bang

Hi-Jack Offed

Way to Die #754

Percy

On June 16, 2010, in Orlando, FL. A hijacker looking to hijack a car hitchhikes on the road. When a truck driver and his boss, a former female boxer, stop to help him, he pulls out a gun. Threatening to shoot them, the hitchhiker forces them out of the truck. The unscared woman punches him and he falls backward into the air brake hose, which enters his rectum, pumping him up with air and causing him to explode.

Alt names - Balloon Blowout

Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".

Ghost Busted

Way to Die #134

Lester

On July 19, 2011, in Ann Arbor, MI. Two men sneak into a haunted former brothel in order to find the spirits of prostitutes and have sex with them. The owner of the building is annoyed by the numerous break-ins, and scares them off by chasing them while wearing a creepy costume. The men run away, with one descending to the ground off the ladder, and the other making a dash for the car. Once the first man descends the ladder, in a panic, he knocks a wrench off the roof and it hits him in the head. He is then run over by his friend escaping with the car.

Alt names - Haunted Hoax

Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.