1000 Ways To Die Wiki

I will try to translate the missing segments to the best of my ability and will post it here. Translations could be wrong. I also give it an alternate name to it.

Bubbled Out

Narrator: For the two brothers Bill and Dave, the world is a single stage.

Billy: Hey, would you be Lord Bemish or Sir Buttocks?

Dave: Yeah dude, I mean Lord Bemish.

Billy: Sir Buttocks.

Dave: After you sir.

Billy: Here we go.

Dave: I insist.

Billy: Probably.

Narrator: Test your acting skills at every opportunity. Today they give a guest appearance in the local mini market.

Dave: I say, see what is being offered here in the market.

Billy: Shall we go and explore?

Dave: Indeed, absolutley.

Narrator: Are they crazy? Drunk? Or missing something in life?

Dave: Do you think they have fish in a can?

Stefan Timmersman: In traditional society, there are special rituals that young men go through that make them on their way to adulthood. And we still need these rituals to this day. Every generation has to change its own society so quickly to some extent.

Dave: Have you heard of the crazy mix? When you mix cola with candy it explodes.

Narrator: Peppermint candy and soda carries a cheap party.

Billy: This, now we need cola.

Narrator: In this case, a taste of fatal manliness is born.

Dave: How about those?

Billy: Excellent.

Dave: Allow me Lord Bemish.

Billy: Certainley Sir Buttocks. Three (?) Do you accept change?

Clerk: Yes sir.

Billy: Good, we have our own materials(?)

Narrator: The brothers can memorize every sketch of Monty Python. Unfortunately, their knowledge of chemistry is very weak.

Billy: Let the experiment begin.

Dr. Steven Kim: The mint has these little recesses in which the gas bottles collect, which increases the pressure in the bottle and causes the solution to explode.

Billy: I say o champ, what do you say about drinking something and then throwing a mint?

Dr. Steven Kim: If somebody ingest mints and then drink soda, gas -filled areas appear in the stomach.

Dave: Now for the mints.

Dr. Steven Kim: One thing that the mints are more acidic than the soda. And so, you're actually increasing the carbon dioxide that increase the pressure that would be extremely lethal.

Alternate Name: Soda Popped

My Will be done-immediately!

Narrator: Ah, Morty I say they finally did it. After 40 years of hard work spent pulling the belt together, they can enjoy old age.

Wife: Darling, isn't it wonderful to be here with our friends and drink in our party?

Narrator: After a lifetime of serving others, they can now finally live for each other.

Wife: You're a little drunk.

Morty: Perhaps.

Narrator: In the club the favorite song of Morty's ideas resounds. It is a perfect evening, perhaps too perfect.

Morty: I confess that this is how I want to die, with a glass of champagne in my hand, while I dance with my beloved wife, on the notes of our favorite song. Toast.

The Others: Toast.

Wife: Morty. Morty! Something is wrong with Morty.

Narrator: Apparently, the heart of Morty did not stand up to all that happiness. A moment after toasting his new life, he is hit by a devastating heart attack and dies.

Wife: Morty It breathes him that you are born a scholar called an actor.

Stefan Timmersman: I don't think the man when he said he wanted to die at that moment, really meant it. Many would like to be surrounded by friends. They would like to be lucid, they would like to leave in the midst of their faculties and not when they are completely decrepit. A death of this type compared to the canons of what could be considered a beautiful way of dying in the 21st century.

Narrator: It's unfortunate to see that Mordy waited for so long to live out his retirement just to die out of pure luck. Always be very careful with your wishes.

Alternate Name: My Wish Is Death

Broke-Back Cowboy

Narrator: This wanna-be cowboy Wade, is the one on the right. Instead of taking care of his ranch, he struggles every day to come out roughly as an actor. 20 years ago, a film team from hollywood drilled their area into a commercial for cigarettes. Wade airs in the background riding through the picture. And since then, he thinks he is the next John Wayne.

Wade: Did my agent call yet for my own commercial? Will call you to get face with him.

Narrator: The longer it takes to get to the film star, the more firmly he believes that he will soon discover him.

Wade: No no, no Italian, I need to watch my figure.

Narrator: His ranch is secondary. He plays the riding hero every day, but he hardly ever does this job.

Wade: Morty what do you mean I didn't get the part? 

Narrator: Incidentally, he just wants to convince his agent that he can also take over any stand without any problems. Then suddenly, his horse stumbles and Wade makes the levies.

Dr. Steven Burstein: To have complete transection, of the spine whole, is very very unusual unless you place the sacral structure of the mechanism. Now if you have tremendous trama to the neck in addition to breaking your spine, you damage the arteries and veins to the brain, then you can have a more instantanious death.

Narrator Poor Wade, He didn't even get the dress rehearsal of his life. This proves that artistic Ambitions can be damn dangerous.

Alternate Name: An Act For Falling

Laced Up

Narrator: In the early 1970s, america is experimented extensively, the glit not only for the hippies themselves, the president is demanding out of office.

Nancy Green: Looks like Nixion is gonna get impeached.

Debby: Ah, glory hallelujah is how you answer that.

Nancy Green: How can you say that Deborah?

Narrator: Suburban life is becoming increasingly interesting for bored housewife Debby.

Debby: Last night, I got invited to a tea party.

Nancy Green: Tea party?

Debby: I'm so shaken to go to this party.

Narrator: Debby and her husband have joined the singers and are now trying to swap partners.

Nancy Green: Are you kidding me are you out of your mind?

Debby: It's the 70s.

Narrator: Debby stands up very well. And she has nothing better to do than tell her girlfriend, Nancy Green, every embarrassing detail.

Debby: Come on, live a little women.

Dr. Stacy Kaiser: Women take. Women have a need to dress up and talk about other people to connect.

Debby: It was phenominal. First, we stopped at my place. 3 hours... I don't think Big Frank knows how to do that.

Narrator: While Debby is reveling in lustful memories, the extra long telephone cord sees itself across the house.

Debby: The guy ate a giant footlong.

Nancy Green: Oh I wasn't aware.

Debby: Hey hold on its for someone.

Narrator: Then a delivery arrives.

Debby: Are those for me?

Narrator: Last night's swinger friend sent flowers. Debby is blown away.

Nancy Green: What What What?

Debby: Okay If my mother existed, it would not be expected, but I would kiss you again and again and again. Ronald.

Nancy Green: Oh my gosh.

Debby: I'm really...

Narrator: It is not noticeable here that the telephone cord has wrapped around her neck.

Nancy Green: Are you okay?

Dr. Stacy Kaiser: When people tipically get wrapped in themself, you lose track of whats happening around you. She was so caught up in the conversation that she lost sight of what was going on her own body.

Debby: I'm just real tangled. The phone must be stuck.

Narrator: At this moment, an angle causes the door to slam shut and the loop around the neck is pulled.

Dr. Pavel Bindra: If the blood supply to the brain is interrupted, you have at most, 60 seconds before it damages the brain. There are only two blood vessels that carry blood to the brain and carotid artery. Anytime you tie a noose around your neck the blood supply is cut off and the brain is gonna start starving for oxygen.

Nancy Green: Debby what's with the flowers?

Narrator: Debby's swinger days are over. If only she would've just hung up.

Alternate Name: Called Offed

Paintful Death

Narrator: If you have been paying attention, you should know that life sucks, and then you die. This tale is about how a person's attitude can show if life sucks or not. Fernando thought he wasn't those guys with house paint. So he did sloppy jobs with spray paint. His boss, got a high pressured spray gun to use. But Fernando did not pay attention to the warning on how close this spray gun can fire like a pistol. And when his spray gun jammed on him for the first time, Fernando was fatally clueless.

Dr. Kim Henderson: Most likely the cause of death would be he had enough paint in his blood. This paint contains glykol, which is disolvent and is very toxic. So if he did get a sufficiently large amount in the tissue, then the glykol reached his brain and led to death.

Narrator: Lets play it in slow motion, since it happened so fast. The story of Fernando, Fernando thought he was doing his job, as his job and his life sucked. The spray gun blew, and then he died. What does it mean? It means the attitude's all wrong. One of the thousandth ways to die, will be yours.

Alternate name: Spray Painted

Die Laughing

Narrator: In his job, Jimmy deals with chemicals every day.

Jimmy: I hate my job.

Narrator: In his free time, he used it to escape everyday life. Jimmy prefers to get intoxicated with laughing gas. But in contrast to the traditional raver and occasional consumer, Jimmy has a quasi scientific flair.

Dr. Steven Kim: Nitrous oxide is a molecule that consists of nitrogen and oxygen and is a colorless gas. The molecules dock protein receptors and thus interrupt the stimulus conduction signal. After a while you lose consciousness and such people use it to get away of life.

Narrator: Laughing gas puts the consumer in euphoria. However, only very briefly.

Jimmy: I got it. I got it.

Narrator: Jimmy definitely wants to prolong the beautiful high. First he tried a hand pump. When this fails, he reaches for the electric pump. Finally he goes all out, he shoots the nitrous oxide hose on his protective suit and goes up like a balloon. It works jimmy sticks on.

Dr. Steven Kim: If you get an increase in the amount of nitrous oxide the neuronal activity is inhibited in such a way that the body functions may cease to keep the body going.

Narrator: The impact is all the harder. The nitrous oxide has used up the oxygen in the suit and Jimmy goes black forever. The Salacher was unfortunately Jimmy's last.

Alternate Name: Laughing Dead

Last Strike

Daniel: Yeah!!

Narrator: What do you do when you're 120 pounds and trying out for a top college football team in the state? You party down as if you're the big man of the team. That's what you do.

Crowd: Daniel! Daniel! Daniel! Daniel! Daniel! Daniel! Daniel! Daniel!

Narrator: Including an encore for his drunk fans. Everything about Daniel was big. And to the guys, Daniel was the man, big time.

Narrator: The only problem with Daniel's run, is that the guy in the hallway was actually a mirror image of Daniel himself. And in the time it takes to say, "Uh, do I know you?" Daniel bled to death, from a severed jugular vein.

Alternate Name: Striked Out

Safecracked Pitch


Alternate Name: Cracked Open

Found D-eat

Alternate Name: Sea You Later Alligator

Dumb Skull

Alternate Name: Quad Branch

Cleane-Dead Solution

Alternate Name: Stank For The Memories

Rolled Death

Alternate Name: Rolling Choke

Wanted Instead

Alternate Name: Wasted Away

Great Hanged

Alternate Name: Tree Hanger

Last Beer-Dead

Alternate Name: R.V'd

Dead Me Stallion

Alternate Name: Horse Handed

Stone Hard

Alternate Name: Fatal Over Painful

S*** Dead

Narrator: Do you remember Hitchcock's masterpiece The Birds? Well this story is called "The Bird."

Alternate Name: Bird Brain

Law and OrDead

Alternate Name: All Die

Last Blast

Alternate Name: Mashed Potato