1000 Ways To Die Wiki

"Written Offed", Way to Die #168, is the sixth death to be featured in "Waking Up Dead", which aired on February 3, 2010.


A small merchant receives a visit from a mortgage seller, defaulting on business payments. The seller unknowingly decides to sign with a pistol pen, which strikes him down


Armenian immigrant, Joe Syracki owns an army-navy store, which is in the brink of facing foreclosure. After a banker comes in with a counter-foreclosure form, he orders Mr. Syracki to sign it. He does sign and after doing so, throws the banker's pen aside, trying to prevent the banker from completing the deal. After demanding a new pen so he can countersign, the banker spots what looks like a pen, but is actually a pen gun. Mr. Syracki says that it's not a good pen, but the banker demands him to give him the pen and Joe does so. As he is about to sign, the banker snarks that it is a moment that he is going to enjoy. He even tells Joe to shut up after being told to not use the pen. However, after trying to write with it, the banker discovers the hard way it's not a regular pen. The banker accidentally clicks the pen, inadvertently aiming it at his forehead and shoots himself dead. Mr. Syracki silently gloats.


  • The name is a pun on WRITTEN OFF
  • A Pencil gun is a pistol that resembles an ink pen.  They are generally small gauge 22lr
  • This is one of the instances where the intended victim does not have a name.

Cast and Interviewees

  • Keenan Henson - Banker (lead:intended victim)
  • Aramazd Stepanian - Joe Syracki (lead)
  • Dr. Henry Schingler - Behavioral Psychologist
  • George Turner - Private Investigator
  • Jason Romero - EMT

Segment Nicknames

  • Write Out

Foreign names

  • Bankerrettung - nein, danke! (Bank rescue - no thanks!) - German dub
  • Escribir con Sangre (Write with Blood) - Latin American dub
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