"Written Offed", Way to Die #168, is the sixth death to be featured in "Waking Up Dead", which aired on February 3, 2010.
Description[]
A small merchant receives a visit from a mortgage seller, defaulting on business payments. The seller unknowingly decides to sign with a pistol pen, which strikes him down.
Plot[]
Joe Syracki was an Armenian immigrant who loved the United States and owned an army-navy store. Despite not having had a customer in weeks and being on the verge of losing his business, he remained optimistic, took great care of his merchandise and happily, he proceeded to open up his store.
A man came to the store and Syracki proceeded to serve him, but then the man revealed that he was a banker who was planning to foreclose on him and took out some papers to seize his business. Syracki didn't understand why that was happening since he was sure he had paid, but the banker was a bastard and claimed that he had not paid.
The economy was wreaking havoc among small merchants. Syracki's American dream was becoming a nightmare - he declared that he admired the United States and that is why he came to the country, but the racist banker told him to sign. The Armenian immigrant refused and protested, but the banker had deaf ears. The bank representative had him cornered and there was no escape. Syracki was upset, he took the pen and signed. As soon as the banker signed, Syracki's business would be the property of the bank.
Syracki threw the pen and the banker said he needed another one, he saw one in the display case and asked Syracki to give it to him. Syracki told him that it was not a good idea to use that pen, but the fucking banker demanded that he give him the pen. Syracki accepted and gave it to him, the banker declared that he would enjoy the moment. Syracki assured him that he would not enjoy the pen, but he told him to shut up; the banker must have heard him. What he did not know was that it was a pen gun, and it was loaded. The banker tried to write, but he couldn't. He checked the pen and accidentally pulled the trigger and shot himself in the head.
The bullet was fired and was close enough to him to have enough force to enter his head, but not to come out, so it ricocheted inside his skull and destroyed his brain, killing him, saving Syracki and his store, while Syracki was impacted by his death, but also knowing that he must have heard him.
Transcript[]
Narrator: Joe Syracki's Army-Navy store hadn't had a customer in weeks. But even on the brink of losing his business, the Armenian immigrant remained optimistic.
Joe Syracki: Time to open up.
Banker: Hello sir.
Joe Syracki: Welcome, welcome sir. How are you?
Banker: Are you familiar with the word "foreclosure"? Sign here.
Joe Syracki: Wh-Why? We have paid, whhat are you talking-
Banker: You have not paid.
Dr Henry Schlinger: Economic stress affects people the way any stress affects someone. If you're foreclosed upon, that can have psychical consequences. Increased heart rate, increased illness. So there are physiological symptoms that are the primary symptoms of stress.
Narrator: The economy was taking its toll on small businessmen everywhere. Syracki's American dream was turning into a nightmare.
Joe Syracki: You know, I admire America, you know. That's why I come here.
Banker: Sir, you need to sign it
Joe Syracki: No, no, I can't sign this
Narrator: The Armenian's protests fell on dead ears. The bank rep had Syracki by the short hairs. There was no way out.
Banker: Sign there.
Narrator: Once Syracki had signed, the hard-working immigrant's business would be the property of the bank. All that was left was for the banker to countersign.
(Joe Syracki throws away the pen of the banker)
Banker: Since you've thrown my pen away, I think I need a new pen
(Banker points at a pen in the display, but actually it's the pen gun)
Banker: That looks like a lovely pen. Can I use that one to sign?
Joe Syracki: This is not good pen.
Banker: GIVE ME MY PEN!
Joe Syracki: Alright.
(Joe Syracki takes the pen gun from the display and gives it to the banker)
Banker: This is a moment I'm actually going to enjoy.
Joe Syracki: Believe me sir, you will not enjoy this pen.
Banker: Shut up.
Narrator: Banker boy should've listened. It was an unusual pen, but not in any way he could've imagined.
Joe Syracki: No, please, sir.
(The banker shoots himself in the head with pen gun, the bullet hits the brain stem actively killing him)
George Turner: The Pen Gun is actually .22 caliber. Very, very small. And because you don't have a long barrel, because you don't have any rifling in the barrel to gain speed on the projectile, you have to shoot it from an extremely close range, within 2 or 3 feet, for it to kill you.
Jason Romero: If a bullet enters that's small enough that doesn't have enough force to exit out the back of the skull, it'll ricochet within the skull. It could ricochet off the top, and then along the back, and straight into the brain stem, the part of the brain that controls vital functions of the body, such as breathing and heart rate is one. Then it's gonna cause death.
(What goes up is playing)
Narrator: Foreclosure's a bitch, but when you have to sign the bottom line...make sure it's with ink, not blood.
Trivia[]
- The name is a pun on write-off.
- A Pen gun is a pistol that resembles an ink pen. They are generally small gauge 22lr.
- This is one of the instances where the intended victim does not have a name.
- The actor who played Joe Syracki also played Mula Hakim in Rife-Ill, but as a coincidence, both victims of the cases died by the use of firearms.
Cast and Interviewees[]
- Keenan Henson - Banker (Lead: Intended victim)
- Aramazd Stepanian - Joe Syracki (Lead)
- Dr. Henry Schingler - Behavioral Psychologist
- George Turner - Private Investigator
- Jason Romero - EMT
Segment Nicknames[]
- Sign Here, It's Loaded
- Written Out
- Pen-alized
- Signature Weapon
- Death's Contract
Foreign Names[]
- Bankerrettung - nein, danke! (Bank Rescue - No Thanks!) - German dub
- Escribir con Sangre (Writing with Blood) - Latin American Spanish dub
- Cancelado (Cancelled) - European Spanish dub
- Escrito a Bala (Written with Bullets) - Brazilian Portuguese dub
Gallery[]
