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"Written Offed", Way to Die #168, is the sixth death to be featured in "Waking Up Dead", which aired on February 3, 2010.

Description[]

A small merchant receives a visit from a mortgage seller, defaulting on business payments. The seller unknowingly decides to sign with a pistol pen, which strikes him down.

Plot[]

Joe Syracki was an Armenian immigrant who loved United States and owned an army-navy store in Glendale, California, despite not having had a customer in weeks and being on the verge of losing his business, he remained optimistic, took great care of his merchandise and happily proceeded to open up.

A man came to the store and Syracki proceeded to serve him but then the man revealed that he was a banker who was planning to foreclose on him and took out some papers to seize his business, Syracki didn't understand why that was happening since he was sure he had paid but the banker was a bastard and claimed that he had not paid.

The economy was wreaking havoc among small merchants, Syracki's American dream was becoming a nightmare, he declared that he admired the United States and that is why he came to the country but the racist banker told him to sign, the Armenian immigrant refused and protested but banker had deaf ears, the bank representative had him cornered and there was no escape, Syracki was upset, he took the pen and signed, as soon as the banker signed, Syracki's business would be the property of the bank.

Syracki threw the pen and the banker said he needed another one, he saw one in the display case and asked Syracki to give it to him, Syracki told him that it was not a good idea to use that pen but the fucking banker demanded that he give him the pen, Syracki accepted and gave it to him, the banker declared that he would enjoy the moment, Syracki assured him that he would not enjoy the pen but he told him to shut up, the banker must have heard him, what he did not know was that it was a pen gun and it was loaded, the banker tried to write but he couldn't, he checked the pen and accidentally pulled the trigger and shot himself in the head.

The bullet was fired and was close enough to him to have enough force to enter his head but not to come out and it ricocheted inside his skull and destroyed his brain, killing him and sending this bastard to Hell where he couldn't take away anyone's business, saving Syracki and his store while Syracki was impacted by his death and knowing that he must have heard him.

Transcript[]

(What goes up is playing)

Narrator: Foreclosure's a bitch, but when you have to sign the bottom line...make sure it's ink, not blood.

Trivia[]

  • The name is a pun on WRITTEN OFF
  • A Pen gun is a pistol that resembles an ink pen.  They are generally small gauge 22lr
  • This is one of the instances where the intended victim does not have a name.
  • The actor who played Joe Syracki also played Mula Hakim in Rife-Ill

Cast and Interviewees[]

  • Keenan Henson - Banker (lead:intended victim)
  • Aramazd Stepanian - Joe Syracki (lead)
  • Dr. Henry Schingler - Behavioral Psychologist
  • George Turner - Private Investigator
  • Jason Romero - EMT

Segment Nicknames[]

  • Sign Here, It's Loaded
  • Write Out
  • Pen-alized
  • Signature Weapon
  • Death's Contract

Foreign Names[]

  • Bankerrettung - nein, danke! (Bank Rescue - No Thanks!) - German dub
  • Escribir con Sangre (Writing with Blood) - Latin American Spanish dub
  • Cancelado (Cancelled) - Spanish dub
  • Yaz pluma matung nakalat nahay (The Pen is for to be Dead) - Lazoran dub

Gallery[]

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