Young, Dumb, and Full of Death[]
"Do you have a morbid sense of humor? Do you enjoy laughing at others' expense? Then you'll love this show. We've got a phony preacher who gets his plug pulled, there's a skateboarder who cements his legend, a D-list celebrity who gets F-ed up, a guy in a sumo suit goes on a roll, an ignoramus eats some greens and buys the farm, a video peeper takes a killer shot, and a TV huckster gets stuck on camera. Stick it all in the black hole of your soul and smoke it down. It's the next episode of 1000 Ways to Die."
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 33.
Originally aired November 9, 2010.
Title Reference: Spoofs the Squidbillies' episode: Young, Dumb, and Full of Gums.
-- This is the Original Episode --
Onesie & Donesie[]
Way to Die #396
Chet
On December 7, 2008, in Orlando, FL. An accident-prone home shopping network salesman survives falling off a ladder and getting a piece of a samurai sword lodged in his chest (which miraculously caused no fatal damage). After returning to work from the hospital from the samurai sword incident, he advertises a flannel one-piece pajama. Still wearing the pajamas, he then advertises some aromatherapy candles. When the sleeve touches the lit candles he is engulfed in flames. The stage manager tries to put out the fire with an extinguisher, but the extinguisher clogs. The salesman dies from severe burns all over his body.
Alt names - In Fail Mercial
Hillary Snuffed[]
Way to Die #203
Hillary
On November 21, 2009, in Hollywood, CA. A former reality TV star, under the delusion that she's still famous, snorts cocaine at a party using a platinum coke straw. A man attempts to take the woman's picture as she's snorting cocaine, and treats the privacy invasion as a paparazzi attack. She calls in her bodyguard, who snatches the camera from the man and punches him in the face. The man falls on top of the reality show star as she's doing a line, and the coke straw gets lodged in her nose, puncturing her frontal lobe and causing a fatal brain hemorrhage.
Alt names - The Final Straw
Note: This segment is otherwise known as "The Last & Final Straw".
Cruci-fried[]
Way to Die #704
Perry
On July 19, 1978, in Chattanooga, TN. A phony miracle healer and minister removes the ground from a three-pronged electrical plug to a microphone amp in hopes of getting rid of an annoying hum emitting from the machine. During the service, he steps into a baptismal pool while holding the microphone and is electrocuted.
Alt names - Seeing The Light
Hammer Head[]
Way to Die #742
Chester
On September 14, 2003, in Rochester, NY. A pedophile working as the new janitor at an all-girls preparatory school lurks outside with a video camera recording teenaged field hockey players as they practice. When one of the girls notices this, she tries to hit him with the field hockey ball. The janitor ducks out of the way and continues to film them—only to get the side of his skull crushed in by a hammer thrower who threw her hammer too far.
Alt names - Hammertime
Board Stiff[]
Way to Die #478
Brandon
On August 9, 2009, in Chicago, IL. A skilled, yet washed-up skateboarder is out skating one day. His board goes over a rock, and he falls face first down a staircase into some wet cement. The impact of the fall knocks him unconscious. While unconscious, he inhales the wet cement into his trachea, suffocating him.
Alt names - Tony Hack
Note: This segment is otherwise known as "Skateboard Scamper".
Sumowed[]
Way to Die #47 (Note: This is the second death to have this number)
Harold
On June 22, 2006, in Palo Alto, CA. A corporate leader who was only hired because his father owned the company leads an employee retreat. After failing to catch his volunteer during the trust fall exercise, he dresses up in a sumo suit, and sumo-wrestles an opponent (coincidentally, his opponent was the woman whom the man forgot to catch during the trust fall exercise). However, he set up the sumo ring too close to the edge of a cliff, and he is pushed off it by his opponent. He survives the fall because of his padded sumo suit, but ends up getting fatally hit by a Smart Car.
Alt names - Sumo You Didn't
Bush Whacked[]
Way to Die #345
Bobby
On May 21, 2008, in Defiance, OH. A man addicted to survival nature shows sets out to film himself making a spring salad from allegedly safe plants, only to become violently ill after eating them. The actual ingredients of the salad were oleander, an herb that causes heart palpitations, foxglove, a gastrointestinal irritant that causes vomiting and diarrhea, and nature's most dangerous plant: hemlock, creating a trifecta of symptoms that kills him shortly afterwards.
Alt names - Non-Survival of the Fittest
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.